The Yorkman/Issue 013

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Greetings, and welcome to the thirteenth edition of The Yorkman - now weekly! As always, feel free to contact us via e-mail, especially if you have some news to share with the world. Also, feel free to discuss the articles on the talk page. We are also currently looking to recruit more reporters and columnists.

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For more general information about the Yorkman, or to read other issues, visit our main page.

Thanks - The Yorkman Team

This issue originally published on 04/02/07

Fighting Continues in York

Troops of the Colonial Militia rest on patrol outside York

Since the decisive counter-attack by the York coalition, the Fourth Invasion has had little impact on the daily lives of Yorkmen. The Mercenary’s Guild continues to attack targets in theColonial Police and their allies, claiming “an average of five kills a day”, but reported sightings of the attacks or their perpetuators are distinctly thin on the ground.

With the help of a relief force from the Derby Hospitallers and allegedly using shared intelligence and real-time patrols, the York forces have been claiming high kill rates and say they have driven the aggressors far into the jungle. CCTU leader Bauer says that the Guild are “getting it handed to them in a serious way every day.” Colonial Police officer Nighter, acting as Kjendlie’s appointed spokesperson, assured us that “no matter how many they send, they will not win. This is not some sort of radical speech; it’s just how it is.”

The Guild, meanwhile, are dismissive of their opponents. Referring to the recent unlikely alliance of the CP and notorious anti-CP criminal Lord Paul Reefer, mercenary leader The Malice declared his foes to be “resorting to really low tactics… they people they once fought so hard, they now recruit.” The CP, however, point out that Lord Reefer has not committed any crimes against the York population at large, and has committed no crimes against the CP for several months. They argue that the alliance merely represents the hatred of the Guild that is felt on all levels of York society.

Although things are currently quiet, the war may escalate soon, as the 1st Imperial Privateers Regiment have announced their intent to withdraw from Wiksik and commit their forces to the York theatre. The mercenaries, a group more accustomed to making enemies, have described them as “our closest allies”. Although originally created with the stated intent of invading York, the Privateers gave up in the face of overwhelming opposition, but it appears they now wish to take advantage of the current situation to resurrect that dream.

The Yorkman Predicts

The Imperial Privateers declare York conquered and sell it to Keiichi in return for information leading to the acquisition of a Heavy Sword. Warfare between the Guild and everybody else continues until headhunters show up and kill everyone.


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Derby Derby Approaches

A trophy taken during the Great Durham Headhunt

Many of our readers will remember last year’s Great Durham Headhunt, in which a small group of natives slew over a hundred Durhamites whilst the largest ever coalition of outsider groups sat in the medical hut arguing amongst themselves and loudly declaring to all and sundry that there were, in fact, no natives on the island. Despite sober and balanced reporting from this fine tome, many sources blew the story out of all proportion, before claiming that the hunt had never actually taken place at all.

In the wake of this, the follow-up event, to be held in Derby, is expected to be attended by a far smaller group of defenders. Nonetheless, headhunters from across the island are sharpening their machetes in anticipation of a month of jaw-dropping fun at the expense of our eastern cousins. All the competitors from the Great Durham Headhunt are expected to attend, plus several now contenders, including a self-confessed cannibal who has been stalking Derby in preparation of the past week.

The town’s defence is currently run by the Eastern Federation, a union of local groups who have only recently become a major factor in national politics. For the Derby Derby, the Federation will be implementing a range of new measures, designed by Derby Hospitaller Consul Jack Molay. An outspoken critic of the Durham Defence Unit’s “critical mass” technique, Jack believes the Federation and their allies will be able to protect the entire town and its populace from the headhunters. Although he has little previous experience in military matters, Consul Molay has recently distinguished himself in the defence of York, and his colleagues seem full of confidence in his abilities.

Despite rumours of a delayed start, The Yorkman believes that the Derby Derby is still set to begin on the 15th of March, doubtless hoping to catch amorous couples still abed after valentine’s day. Entry is still open to all non-Derbians, with a Heavy Sword once again up for grabs for the lucky winner. The Eastern Federation has put out a call for others to aid their cause, but with most of the south coast embroiled in one conflict or another it seems they may stand alone.

Coming next week: Lama, winner of the Great Durham Headhunt, talks to us about the Derby Derby.


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Our Oldest Clan May Be Dying

Fears over the future of the Royal Expedition were first raised after the Third Invasion, when indecision and an overly-protracted democratic process led to the island’s most feared military force joining the fray only as the Mercenary’s Guild withdrew. Royal Expedition forces converged on York only to find the fighting already over. As the dust settled, the Expedition’s leaders failed to find a new project for the clan. Unity Island looked after itself; hospital visits decreased as York’s brigade of roaming volunteer medics grew; talks of raids on pirates and headhunters came to nothing.

When the Great Durham Headhunt came around, the Queen’s proud expeditionaries didn’t even show, a glaring gap in the ranks of our island’s defenders. Queries went unanswered, public announcements came there none. Prominent members are often seen wandering aimlessly around our towns on personal business, without a energy and purpose that once marked them out.

As the first organised clan on Shartak, the RE were highly influential in the early days of the colonisation. They cut our first road, founded our first hospital, claimed and defended an islet – still the largest successful territory claim on Shartak – fought several wars, brokered the historic Unity Island truce, and somehow acquired a vast number of Heavy Swords along the way.

So what has happened to this once-proud institution? Indecisive leadership and a cumbersome decisions-making process long ago crippled the Expedition, rendering them effectively unable to act unless in reaction to others. Having claimed their land, they were forced to fight for it. Once the island was declared a non-violence zone, that impetus was lost. Without it, the monolithic power has merely drifted, taking no active role in world affairs. And with mercenaries rampaging through York and headhunters about the rampage through Derby, what the south really needs right now is a large group of soldiers with big swords.


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Pirates Urged To Attack Yorkmen

New evidence has emerged of the way in which anti-York groups recruit pirates for their cause. The shipwreck, spiritual home of our pirate population, has long been a no-go zone for southerners and a breeding ground for anti-York sentiment – this will come as no surprise to any savvy Shartakian. But in recent days our sources have been shocked by an aggressive advertising campaign, urging pirates to seek “fame and fortune” by raiding York.

Although extremist propaganda is the heart and soul of Shartak street art, this campaign is remarkable not just for it’s pervasiveness and persistency – with some signs staying up for days on end – but also for the previous impacts of similar campaigns.

Shortly after the pirates crash-landed on our island, a group of scouts returning from the interior posted directions to Dalpok near the captured shaman, along with similar extortions to plunder. Within days, pirates arrived in Dalpok. Within a fortnight, a road had been cut straight there. Dalpok became a warzone, it’s riches looted, temple defiled, hundred left dead. Eventually, as the natives began to regain control, the pirate hordes drifted south, to York and the second invasion; the war extended north towards the wreck; and the Dalpok area remains devastated to this day.

The suspected masterminds behind the campaign are radical anti-York group the Jolly Roger Gang, who are known to have been planning a York raid since their participation in the Third Invasion. A lack of Gang personnel around the wreck, with no current projects to explain their absence, leads us to believe that the Jolly Roger Gang may already be heading down to York to join the current invasion. With a long history of attacking anyone from York, this may well be the trigger for all-out war in our city.


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Full Interview: Kjendlie

What is the current progress of the attack on York? Are the Mercenaries continuing to kill large numbers of Colonial Police, or has the tide turned?

Could be.


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Pistoleer Kills York Defender

Derby Hospitaller Jack Molay has been killed whilst on patrol in the jungles to the north of York. As a part of the Derby relief force currently aiding the Colonial Police, 1st Colonial Militia, and the Order of Patriots in their battles with the Mercenary’s Guild, an attack on Jack was not unexpected. The identity of his killer is somewhat more surprising, though – one Lord Lordington, of the Durham Pistoleers.

The Durham Pistoleers have no official crusade against York, but their literature talks of “hostile settlers from other towns”, and attacks on Yorkmen and Derbymen by Pistoleers do occur sporadically across the island. Unfortunately due to the deadline for going to press we have not had time to seek a comment from the Pistoleers.


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Hauntings Decimate Shamen

As the invasion rages, even the medical hut is no sanctuary. Following the murder of several local shamen, a group of malicious spirits, apparently operating under the name of ‘5punk’, have claimed almost as many lives in the past two weeks as the Mercenary’s Guild have. The return of Lacuna may turn the tide, but citizens are advised not to sleep in the medical hut for the foreseeable future.


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“Freedom of Press” Goes Too Far

The notoriously monopolistic Imperial Bank launched the island’s first regular niche publication last week, covering a range of local issues from an unapologetically capitalist viewpoint. A mildly interesting read, suitable perhaps for one’s lunch break or some other inconsequential occasion, the Shartak Financial Times referenced it’s obvious inspiration only in a surprisingly vitriolic editorial.

The SFT is the first of a number of new publications to be launched over the next few weeks, including a local paper for Derby and a trade journal from the Mercenary’s Guild.


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Letters To The Editor

There really is nothing suspicious about the Colonial Counter Terror Unit, it is what it is i.e. a more thorough version of the Colonial Police but not just based in York. Simple as that.

And I have absolutely nothing to do with the Order of Patriots whatsoever, if I did I would say so and I would invite them to join the CCTU which I haven't and have no plans to do so as their rules and views do not agree with those of the CCTU.

CCTU,York District


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