Talk:Colonial police

General Discussion

You guys seem like a nice, civilised group of people. If you'd be interested in opening relations with the Royal Expedition, contact us via our forum: http://s9.invisionfree.com/Royal_Expedition/index.php? --Less Than Lethal

MickR^CP - "Hi Yeah, signed up on your forums. We're definitely interested. Look forward to doing buisiness with you."

Hey, any chance you can put up a section on this wiki to report crimes? I posted on the PK thread and nothing yet. I was hoping you guys could help. He is Stoertebecker [ http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1553 ] and i'd like to see him dead. He killed me, then attacked me the very same day after I resurrected (and that, my friend, is not very sportsmanlike, PKer or not). I also found him in the far westerly area of York, where there are five huts bunched together. Can you make an 'arrest'? Jack W Spalding.

MickR^CP - "Yeah, we've heard of him Jack. In fact, he killed one of our officers. We're doing all we can to stop him. Oh, and if you want to add a criminal to the list, just put them under "--Criminals--" at the bottom of this page and they'll be added A.S.A.P."

Arwedda - "We would, of course, like some proof in the way of a screenshot of the murder. We've had trouble with people not being identified correctly."

I was in the York medical hut on May 14, and in the recent actions log it displayed that Lord Paul Reefer killed czech1. I'm sure your probably already aware of this, but I'd like to help your cause in anyway I can. Cheers --Gandhi 03:32, 15 May 2006 (BST)

MickR^CP - "Yeah, we know. Thanks anyway Gandhi, any information you can give us is always a great help."

Most Wanted

Hell yeah, I made a wanted list and wasnt even trying! You guys should totally do a 'ten most wanted' or suchlike. It'd stoke my ego no end :P -- Dave C

MickR^CP - "Watch yourself Dave... Murders in York will NOT be tolerated..."

Dont worry, I'm busy deforesting an islet for the hell of it at the moment. You're dave-free for a while ;) -- Dave C

MickR^CP - "Heh, good luck with that. See you round Dave... see you round..."

Aw, crap. "Justin Fected" decided to come to Shartak. In UD, he's a fairly infamous PKer. Keep an eye open for an alt he'll likely have, "Justin Time."--Wifey 00:21, 9 May 2006 (BST)

MickR^CP - "Thanks Wifey, we'll keep our eyes peeled."

Raktamites

As a Raktamite, I'm fairly certain when I say... It's just Phutnanog.--Wifey 07:27, 11 May 2006 (BST)

MickR^CP - "No matter who they are, if someone kills another player in York, they will be brought to justice."

Lord Paul Reefer's Group

(Any information on Lord Paul Reefer or his lackeys would be appreciated. If the information leads to his execution, a reward of gold will be provided.)

Criminals

I was killed by Mal completely unprovoked.--Tom Failur 19:33, 28 May 2006 (BST)

MickR^CP - "Thanks Tom. Mal has just been executed."

Hey, you missed some of my murders. I updated your page with the correct number.--Sora Lamal 20:55, 24 July 2006 (GST}

I've dealt with eminem1 after he assaulted everyone who was inside the Colonial Police Headquarters-- Zydd Soral 23:16 16 August 2006

My peacable pirate Patch just got attacked by Che a little ways outside York. Is this the welcome York reserves for an honary member of the Durham Pistoleers? -- Less Than Lethal 00:08, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

New Recruits

(If you are interested in joining the CPHQ post your name and profile here)

I know my reputation with you isn't spotless, but I'd like to change my ways and right my wrongs.--Sora Lamal

Great News!

Tom Failur, the 'Butcher of York', known murderer and scallywag, was executed by the Order of Patriots last night. Despite having slain over 20 yorkmen without warning or provocation, Tom was quietly removed from the CP's Most Wanted list, and has in fact been aided by them when attacked by a native nearby. Why was he not apprehended and despatched before these atrocities could happen? Clearly the time is long overdue for right-thinking citizens of York to take matters into their own hands!

I must say I was shocked when I was helped after I had killed so many York citizens. I was also quietly disaapointed to be removed from the wanted list. It does seem like the CP is not able to enforce law and order in York. However death isn't the end. I will return to York to kill again as I am being paid to do it. I'm sure we will meet agin.--Tom Failur 12:51, 1 June 2006 (BST)

Oh right, so NOW you add him to the wanted list. Don't you think thats a bit late? -- Order of Patriots 11:13, 3 June 2006 (BST)

MickR^CP - "We had our reasons..."

Arwedda^CP - "The Colonial Police would like to take this opportunity to state that although we asked for evidence of these atrocities, multiple times, none was presented. At the moment we do NOT unprovokedly attack people without proof, unlike some vigilante organisations that I do not care to mention. However, with the above admission of guilt coming to light, we have added him to our wanted list. Secondly, we would like to state that we do not encourage murder in any capacity, and the apparent "Helping" of Tom Failur was merely the removal of a different dangerous criminal from the streets of York."

The South Shartak Trading Company

Hi! Great work you're doing! I was wondering, I have a couple of natives in my company. They would like to do business with the Outsider towns. Could you guys make sure you and your boys at least don't shoot them? They're good people, and they wouldn't be agents of the SSTC if they're proven to be killing without provokation. I also hope you'll persecute anyone that murders my fellow traders, be it pirate, native or outsider. They'll be on the member list of the SSTC wiki page. Again, thanks for the law enforcement! Jack W Spalding

MickR^CP - "We never attack natives unprovoked. We can only protect them in York. But, if they're heading that way, tell them to stay in the western part of York. That way we can keep our eyes on them."

Mercenaries Guild

As I have said on the OOP wiki talk, I feel your persecution of the Mercenaries Guild is unfounded. We Mercenaries are simply trying to earn an honest living - and we are honest. We work for anyone, providing the coin is good enough. No coin, no kill/job. We do not kill out of malicious intent, we're trying to survive in a merc-unfriendly world...--HVLD 23:41, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

MickR^CP - "We never attack ANYONE unprovoked."

Arwedda^CP - "We execute anyone who commits murder, even if they do so for money. In fact, last time I checked, killing someone for money was an even worse crime than killing someone in anger. Of course, we do also want to punish those who pay you to take out hits on people, but as of yet, we have no way of divining who these are. We would also like to point out that we have not openly declared a Guild-wide war on your dubiously legal organisation, a move we like to think of as somewhat generous."

JB Aristide's Terms of Surrender for the CP

I grow weary of our war, and is it obvious now that the only time the CP can kill me is when there are more pressing matters in the world. Therefore, i offer the following terms of surrender to the CP:

• the CP ceases all action against me.
• the CP gives me a one-time payment of 100 gold.
• the CP agrees that they will never, under any circumstances, participate in any raid of Raktam.

In return, I cease all action against you, and will guarantee that my York spies do not help in any other actions against the CP.

Otherwise, how long will this war continue? How many more unanswered killings will the CP suffer? Let us put an end to it. --Frisco 02:30, 16 July 2006 (UTC) (as JB Aristide)

MickR^CP - "I too would like to see the end of this war. I'm sure we can come to some arrangement. Here are our terms:

• the CP will cease all action against JB Aristide and his partners.
  
• JB Aristide and his partners will cease all action against the CP and all the citizens of York.
  
• the CP agrees that they will never, under any circumstances, participate in any raid of Raktam.
  

If you don't agree to these terms we can try to come to another agreement."

Inaccuracies in offence lists

Between my first execution (2006-07-09 23:13) and eight offense (a killing of MickR at 2006-07-16 18:20), I also killed Kjendlie, was killed by Kjendlie, and killed Kjendlie once again, as my Underworld page shows. I feel somewhat slighted, even though this ommitted information will make the kill to death ratio next to my name less flattering. By the way, might I suggest that times for executions be included <!--in comment tags--> so they'll correspond to logged deaths?

Oh, and it was nice to hear your voice the other day, MickR. I'm sorry I didn't have time to stick around and chat back. ;)

— Elembis (talk) 05:05, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

MickR^CP - "Sorry if the list isn't always perfect, we try our best. I've fixed it for now."

I killed sayt recently (see my Underworld page) and that hasn't been mentioned on your offense list yet. Maybe this notice will help.

Given that my kill of a clan member has escaped notice for several days, and given that attacks on non-CP members account for a mere handful of the offenses on your list (I count eight), it seems like your clan's vindictive goal of executing everyone who's ever killed an outsider (or merely attacked one, in some cases) is well beyond your reach. — Elembis (talk) 06:54, 24 July 2006 (UTC)

joef1day is not the guy who's been tagging "Blame Josef". Why you people insist on crediting a target so obvious is beyond me. Josef 07:35, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

Unprovoked attack at SCS HQ

Hello, John Sevier here to report being killed without provocation at York, at the Shartak Cryptozoological Society Headquarters by eminem1, who claimed I was guilty of something, though did not bother to say what. As I have only killed an outsider once [and then in self-defense], I have no idea what he is referring to do. The proof is in my profile John Sevier. I have since returned to my HQ and have weakened him, but I would appreciate assistance from the Colonial Police as I will not be able to finish him off this cycle. --John Sevier 14:00, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

Update: eminem1 told me he was attacking me as he thought I might be behind the 'Blame Josef' nonsense (for the record, I am not; in fact I am getting sick of constantly writing over). I let him go with 1 hp despite killing me earlier. I consider the matter resolved. Also, feel free to list the Shartak Cryptozoological Society as an ally, I appreciated your assistance earlier with my clan's HQ. --John Sevier 01:52, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

... How in the name of The Great Zombie did that water collector come to that most erroneous conclusion? Seriously. I am not John, I am not joef1day. For the love of the Gods, people. At least post your guesses here before you start kicking the crud out of fellow outsiders. Josef 05:25, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

No, you idiots! IDIOTS!

Eli's not the spammer either. HOW DO YOU COME TO THESE CONCLUSIONS!? HOW HOW HOW HOW!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? IDIOTS. Josef 23:33, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Arwedda Leaving

The other founder and ex-leader of the Colonial Police has decided to leave, due to the general inactivity of both him and many clan members. He wishes those who remain luck and success. --Arwedda 07:36, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Best of luck Arwedda

Best of luck Arwedda, I have personally never seen the CP so active as of late. Hopefully one day you will return. - Nighter

And Josef is...

Wolf Kazumaru, beaches. He's sleeping at CPHQ, so go toast him.

And yes. I'm absolutely sure you'll just take my word on this, because you're complete morons and have little to no critical thinking skills. Josef 07:33, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Your wanted lists...

First, you still list joef1day as a possible me, which he is not. Second, do I, Wolf Kazumaru, at least get a place under Executed? If not, I'm not sure whether I'm able to get back into York without instadeath or not. Josef 00:03, 17 October 2006 (UTC)

Shame. Looks like someone needs more attention. We forget about you for a while, but you can't live without attention. -Che 01:29, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

No, I'm just rather obsessive and would prefer the wanted list to be correct. Josef 01:39, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

While in Durham

Because we (JRG) follow Durham law while in their domain we will not attack you in or around Durham. We to have good relations with the pistoleers and are coming to aid in their defense also. This is for CP troops only.--Michael edwards 23:36, 16 November 2006 (UTC)

About all that on the main page.

You really should make an archive of past news. Do you really need every report since this formed on the main page, especially when it's already above? You should also probably make a separate page for the criminals list. Possibly have the most wanted on the main page, and a link to the entire criminal section. It would really make your page look cleaner. Anyway, that's just my suggestion. -Mark D. Stroyer 03:32, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

"A SN"

[Since "A SN" continues to edit/vandalize the CP wiki without permission, after repeatedly being told to stop, and since he clearly wants attention more than anything, his listing has been removed. In the future, please use this talk page to communicate or the forum, rather than editing/vandalizing the CP wiki with your little messages to us.]

• Adolf Schwarznigger (Outsider-York) Wanted for killing a friendly Shamen (CrowJane) in the Medical hut of York. -Executed! New offenses: Killed 8 different CP officers. Killed another CP officer. Suspected of attempting to foment radical anti-CP agitation for reasons unknown, and offers 50 gold coins to the first CP officer to kill him. Okay you stupid motherfucker, listen up. If you want us to kill you then stop killing a CP officer and running 14 miles away with your tail between your legs and when you're safely away from York come onto the Wiki and pretend you're all high and mighty and much smarter than everyone else, because you're not, okay? You've got all your attention you need, and some you don't need, now go fuck off. -Che 22:25, 2 February 2007 (UTC) (Seconded -czech1)

lol, I love how rude you guys get. What makes you guys get so rude? It's only a game :-). It's not because I do what I can to get you guys to chase me that you must lose all sense of à propos. By the way, I don't run 14 miles away from York, and since this is getting boring, I'm giving guys a clue. Deep Waters.

By the way, I'm not really vsnoreandalizing the wiki. I properly edit the wiki as it should be, reporting my crimes as they should properly be reported and leaving comments in the appropriate space for comments, and you guys vandalize the wiki page to send persosnorenal messages to me. But after all there isn't as snore much glory as I first thought there would be at killing each of you guys, the way that I do it is, as you guys complained, too safe to be any fun, and it seems like you guys only could care about me if it was as simple as finding me sleeping in the nearest hut, so I don't really care about reporting anymore, my Shartak Underworld prosnorefile shall suffice. I'm not giving up on killing you guys tho, to kill you guys repeatedly in an unpunished manner and to brag about it seems to pissnores you guys off quite a lot, and I find it amusing, so I shall go onsnore for the simple sake of pissing you guys off some more. --A SN 03:54, 4 February 2007 (UTC)

We only got mad at you editing the wiki, have fun killing us, we all respawn 5 blocks away from our huts. Hope you get yourself off some more by killing us :s -czech1

Ok, cool, thanks, I'll do that :-) --A SN 00:15, 5 February 2007 (UTC)

Oh yes, I'm really getting pissed off that some immature little guy(?) is killing us on a text-and-graphic based online role-playing game and then vandalising the Wiki for said text-and-graphic based online role-playing game. It really makes my blood boil. -Che 18:23, 4 February 2007 (UTC)

lol, well like I said, I don't think we can say I'm really vandalizing the wiki since I'm editing it as it's meant to be edited. And Che, lol man, you can't get pissed off for that shit, jack off or something and then find yourself some hobby or some shit. Don't you find it worrying that you can get this really pissed off for some meaning less shit like that? I mean I won't say get a life or anything but seriously, chill, it's just a game. You can't let yourself get your mood ruined by the first fool you don't even know who just feels like fucking around. --A SN 00:15, 5 February 2007 (UTC)