User:John Sevier

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...I wasn't aware a monkey could bite so bloody much!


John Sevier is a student of the new branch of science known as Cryptozoology, which is concerned with the discovery and study of extremely rare and occasionally mythical animals. After being expelled from Oxford for capturing the current chancellor in a trap designed to lure the rare (and subsequently proven non-existent) Thames River Hippopotamus, Sevier caught the first ship he could to Shartak in the hopes of discovering a rare species in order to regain his standing at Oxford. He is joined by his faithful companion, Sir Reginald Scouxliebute, a most agreeable badger. In addition, he has founded the Shartak Cryptozoological Society in order to attract like minded individuals.


  • Exploration
  • Pirates (they too believe in fantastic species of a maritime nature)
  • Natives (most are more civil than a certain chancellor)
  • A cold one


  • Monkeys (he will not fail to shoot on sight, and continue shooting until the foul mockery of creation respirates no more)
  • People who stab or shoot him (obviously)
  • A warm one

Ahem, the Other John Sevier, if you are so inclined to wonder

John Sevier

All he did was piss off Andrew Jackson, get involved in that whole 'American Revolution' nonsense, and have 18 kids.