The Yorkman/Issue 010

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Greetings, and welcome to the tenth edition of The Yorkman. Double figures, baby! As always, feel free to contact us via e-mail, especially if you have some news to share with the world. Also, feel free to discuss the articles on the talk page.

If you'd like to submit a banner for the ads section of the next issue, either e-mail us your completed 500x100 picture, or if graphics aren't your thing, contact us with a slogan and a vague idea (or even a slogan) and we'll do our best.

For more general information about the Yorkman, or to read other issues, visit our main page.

Thanks - The Yorkman Team

This issue originally published on 07/01/07

Dust Settles in Durham

As the sun rose on new year's day, the residents of Durham emerged into the light to count to costs of the last month. Despite sweeping declarations of victory by the leaders of the Durham Defence Unit, terrible damage was been sustained. Between them, 9 headhunters killed over 100 outsiders - more than a tenth of the population of the south coast.

The Durham Defence unit, once the largest coalition in our history and hailed as a great example of outsider strength and unity, descended into petty squabbles and infighting, with at least two members being killed by their comrades – murders that have so far gone unavenged. Throughout the contest, various groups left bitter and disillusioned, leaving only a handful of defenders to deal with the hunt.

Although some individuals had great success with search and destroy tactics, the bulk of the Defence Unit stayed in the medical hut, following a ‘critical mass’ tactic that provided a strong defence for each other but left the hunters free to roam Durham, killing at will.

Durham Nationalist spokesperson Nathan Hale has decried the DDU failure, blaming the “callous” decision to only defence the medical hut. Various other members of the coalition have complained publicly of poor teamwork and insular attitudes, and feel that the potential of the force gathered for the hunt was chronically underused.

The elated winner of the contest was Lama with 21 durham heads and 4 non-durham heads. He was closely follwed by Foo Fighter and Jesus, with 18 and 17 heads respectively. Most of the contestants have already signed up for the Derby Derby in February, and Lama will be bringing his prize along with him to show the locals.

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Derby Prepares to Repel Headhunters

In the aftermath of the Great Durham Headhunt, it seems that the next target of the roving headhunters will be the quiet town of Derby. Long regarded as a backwater, Derby has recently experienced a renaissance of sorts, and now boasts an organised civilian militia that may well have a chance of defending the populace.

The militia consists of the Derby Privateers and Hospitallers, two closely allied clans who have embarked on a number of impressive development projects. Although details at this point are scarce, the Derbians seem confident that they will be able to protect the whole town, and have rejected a Durham-style ‘critical mass’ defence.

An anonymous source assures us that the defence will be highly organised, and that the survival of any hostile natives within a wide area around Derby for any length of time will be highly unlikely. They also said that an organised force of volunteers and allied troops would be involved to ensure maximum military capability.

Meanwhile, one of our reporters overheard a conversation between a hospitaller and a visiting native, where it emerged that friendly natives will be required to register with the defence forces to prevent any accidental killings. The extent to which their movements will be regulated and monitored is, as yet, unclear.

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Maevar Ralnik Accepts Presidency of Dalpok

A bright new day has dawned for the embattled residents of the disputed town of Dalpok. A brave new leader has emerged, swearing to protect and uphold his citizen’s interests, and has already ordered foreign troops to withdraw.

When pirates first came to our isle, Dalpok was the first target of their brutal raids, and the Battle of Dalpok will surely go down in history as one of the bloodiest battles this land has seen. Although the Battle died down during and after the Second Invasion of York, Dalpok and the Shipwreck Highway have been a warzone ever since, and a raid on the devastated township has become a coming of age ritual for pirate groups.

Having abandoned previous plans to invade Wiksik and York, the Dutch-sponsored Imperial Privateers raided Dalpok in late December, renaming it ‘New Amsterdam’ and claiming to have occupied the area, despite numerous reports of fierce and effectibe resistance. Natives who escaped tell tales of repression and atrocity, but also of a warrior class unbowed and undeterred from their endless struggle.

Following a short period of occupation, Dalpokophile pirate Maevar Ralnik arranged with First Amongst Daves, leader of the Imperial Privateers, to purchase deeds to the town for 50gc and 10 gems – rumoured to be worth around 90gc. Daves offered to stay in the area to enforce the purchase, but Maevar ordered the immediate withdrawal of the troops and declared autonomy and rule by the people.

Despite his good intentions, things may not go quite as Maevar planned. A bar opened by the Jolly Roger Gang in northwest Dalpok has been linked to several violent incidents, and warfare in the surrounding jungles continues unabated. In the most shocking incident of all, Ralnik himself was attacked by several extreme nationalists, and slew one himself. As the legitimacy of his regime is questioned and violence continues, will Maevar by able to save Dalpok?

Breaking News

The Order of Patriots issued a press release in the early hours of this morning praising “the heroic resistance of Dalpok’s people against continued pirate aggression” and calling for adventurers, guerrillas, and wandering vigilantes to aid them in their “glorious struggle”.

“The incredible, island-wide support of the Durham Defence Unit showed that the people of Shartak are willing to put their lives on the line for what is right and to fight evil in all it’s forms. This evil now manifests itself in the continued atrocities in Dalpok. Until the battle in the north is won, the south will never truly be safe. Warriors of the south, your brethren need you. To arms!”

The editor would like to remind all contributors that articles should be submitted the day before we go to press.

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Derby Academy Opens to Public

The Derby Academy opened towards the end of the year to widespread acclaim, The first higher education institution on Shartak, the Academy offers practical advice and tuition to students from all walks of life.

In the current atmosphere of militarisation in derby, the most popular courses have been in self-defence and swordsmanship. Half of the Academy is dedicated to this purpose and over a dozen students have already received tuition from Derby Hospitaller Janet Grey.

The western half of the Academy is a lecture hall devoted to pointing newcomers to Derby in the right direction and giving advice on a wide range of subjects to anyone who wants it. Currently being run by Jack Molay, this section has so far enrolled two eager students.

Founded by the Hospitallers, the Academy is one of the most original and far-sighted ventures of recent times, and is showing great potential for the furtherment of Derby as a respected, influential town.

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Flood of News Overwhelms Editor

A sudden rush of events and stories has almost overwhelmed a small local news team on a remote Caribbean island. Expecting a quiet holiday period, staff of the highly-regarded newspaper agreed to take a break until the new year, only to become submerged by a veritable avalanche of news.

The sole editor has been hit particularly hard, as he struggles to fit everything in. “There’s just too much!” he wailed to our reporter.

Gratuitous Article Makes Matters Worse

“I can’t print this rubbish!” exclaimed our distraught source. “There’s just no space, I’m leaving out important stories as it is! What? No, you promised not to tell anyone about the Christmas party! Dammit, I already raised your pay!”

Hopefully, the situation will be remedied by the next issue, thanks to an innovative program of paying mercenaries to kill anyone who looks about to do anything newsworthy.

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Interview – Nathan Hale

Firstly, Nathan, could you explain to our readers who you are?

First and foremost, I’m a proud Durhamite, and a strong believer in freedom and self-determination. I’m also the spokesperson of the Durham Nationalists.

And who are the Durham Nationalists, exactly?

We’re a fairly new group, and still small. Rather than being a traditional clan, the Durham Nationalists are an information exchange and a tactical forum to allow for more effective communication and cooperation between independent Durhamites.

What are the long-term aims of the Nationalists?

To create a free Durham where no man has to live in fear. To uphold the right of every man to live as he pleases, except where that infringes upon the rights of others.

Why were the Nationalists founded?

Because the free men of Durham were a fragmented, dispersed groups, struggling ineffectually alone instead of together as a group.

Your opposition to the Durham Pistoleers was quite a surprise to many. What is your beef with them?

The Pistoleers just declared themselves rulers of our town one day, and have ruled by decree ever since. Their short-0sighted and unjust policies have led us all top the brink of ruin.
They invite pirates and murderers into our town yet attack peaceable travellers. They threaten repercussions against groups such as the Pirate Hunters for carrying out their just crusades, and yet allow pirates to openly execute those who oppose them, even in the midst of our greatest crisis. Their tactical ineptitude and moral bankruptcy can bring only sorrow to this town.

So how do the Nationalists function?

We work on an open, voluntary, non-hierarchical basis. When people see hostiles, or have checked an area and found it clear, or require assistance for an attack, they contact us and we pass that along to the other members, who act or respond as they see fit.

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