The Raktam Tavern

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Raktam tavern.jpg


Inside this hut there are crates of various brown liquids stacked up along the walls. Some of the lids are off and the crates have been raided already. Around the tables in the middle of the room, a mix of natives and outsiders partake of brown liquids, dried herbs, and the traditional pub pursuits of yelling incoherently and knocking things over. A battered body, possibly dead, is slumped in one corner, but from here you cannot tell whether it is an unwanted patron or the tavern's accident-prone owner. Poorly-made banners decorate the walls, bearing catchy revolutionary slogans as "Raktam will no longer be subjugated by murderers and extortionists!" and "Temporary setbacks will not deter us from acheiving our goal of total liberty for Raktam!"

What did Dave C say to the tavern patron?

"Do you smell burning?"

The Raktam Tavern (currently "The Inoffensive Tavern"), was set up in early November '06 to provide a focus for the Raktam community and a safehouse for friendly visitors.

The founder, Dave C, had frequently seen outsiders who had never attacked a native in their lives butchered by locals in the healing huts of native villages, even when they were there to aid the villagers. Recently returned from a holy mission to York (if anyone sees The Cooler, please remind him that his sacred mission really is really, really important. Really.), he saw yet another peacable traveller first spared by the Raktamites' patrol for his good behaviour, only to be then senselessly slain a few hours later. Deciding that something should be done, and having been inspired by York's famous Falling-Over House, he found a nearby hut and founded the Tavern.

Guest Policy

The tavern welcomes all those who pose no threat to our people. As well as all natives, we also open our doors to any outsider who has not killed any natives in the last three months, with the exception of criminals such as Armadox and the Traitorous Clan of Evil. You must be able to prove that you have not slain recently - if you have native kills on your profile then we will examine your underworld log before making our decision.

Any non-qualifying outsiders will be dealt with by either Dave C or another of our local vigilantes. Any native who kills a peaceful outsider, however, will also be hunted down. It's a harsh world, kids.

Finding Us

The tavern is located at [-70.321,+26.473]. This is 2E from the medical hut, 1S 3E from the ammo hut, 1N 3W from the trader's and 4N 1E from the shaman.

The Rules

  • Anyone found to be engaging in violent acts against the management will be politely but firmly asked to leave.
  • Due to the recent spate of unexplained fires, the tavern in now a no-smoking area.
  • Please try not to kill any of the other patrons. In the interests of fairness, anyone who has consumed more than ten units of brown liquid is permitted to greviously wound up to two customers per night.


The management would like to assure all our customers that, despite certain slanderous rumours, the likelihood of getting a machete through the eye whilst drinking in The Inoffensive Tavern is actually fairly low. We would also like to request that members of the scavengers refrain from carving their symbol all over the toilet walls, and possibly take some anger management classes.

Thanks to Dock Boggs, for performing on his bango at the Raktam Tavern's first live music event last night. The management are currently in negotiations to host a gig by Headectomy.

Dave C has founded the Raktam Security Consultancy, whose offices will be located in a fireproof cellar below the tavern.

Following refurbishment and, erm, rebuilding, again, the Raktam Tavern is now open once more to the public. In an attempt to reduce the number of murders, arsons, and similar, the tavern has been renamed "The Inoffensive Tavern".

In a despicably sneaky move, members of the scavengers attacked and burned the tavern, before roasting my corpse and feasting upon my sweet, succulent flesh, even though I already declared victory! You underhand brutes, you can't keep fighting after I've said you've lost! It defeats the whole purpose of me saying that! What sort of barbaric creatures are you?

Never one to miss a bandwagon, I have declared the tavern to be part of a free and independent Raktam, and am openly engaging in armed resistance to the rule of the scavengers! Anyone who claims I was one of the first to support Armadox's reign of terror is a liar and a scoundrel. I would also like to deny all rumours that I spent the first few days of the Glorious Revolution hiding in the jungle, wimpering and occasionally wetting myself, before hurriedly returning after running into a hostile pirate. Tavern renamed "The Freedom Tavern".

Following tense negotiations and a few roughing-ups, the management has agreed to pay protection money to the Scavengers, who have in return agreed not to harm any patrons or, more importantly, me. Tavern renamed "The Butcher's Block".

Tavern rebuilt again after another arson attack by some headless maniac, who then stole Armadox's Head from the spike outside. Please keep an eye out for Armadox (he can be easilly identified by the "I'm proper evil, me." speech bubble still nailed to the side of his head), who is a dangerous maniac and has been known to kill kittens. Tavern renamed "The Pheonix Tavern".

Tavern rebuilt after being burnt to the ground by the Scavengers. Tavern renamed "Armadox's Head".

We were featured in the latest edition of The Yorkman, despite not being from York!