The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet
| The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet|-style="background-color: #ffffff; text-align: center;" | 
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| Leadership: | Captain Tyler Whitney | ||
| Members: | There be the Captain, the First Mate, the Sailing Master, the Master's Mate, the Gunner, the Gunner's Mate, the Ship's Surgeon, the Surgeon's Mate, a Rum Runner, the Cabin Boy, the Ship's Carpenter, the Boatswain, the Cartographer the Able-bodied Seamen, and A Monkey. | ||
| Goals: | The pursuit of booty and/or rum. YARRR!!! | ||
| Recruitment policy: | ARRR!! All crew positions be determined by first-come first-serve or no rules cage death match. Ye must be a pirate or pirate sympathizer. If ye wish to name your own rank ye have liberty to add it to the ship's manifest. | ||
| Contact: | E-mail aehrig@hamilton.edu to be added to the manifest. | ||
Contents
- 1 HAR,HAHARHHARHAAAHRRR!!!!
- 1.1 Current goals be:
- 1.2 The Code of The Scurvy Crew
- 1.3 Now accepting crew for the positions of:
- 1.4 Pirates be expert cartographers
- 1.5 The Case of Mr. Badhammer
- 1.6 MR. BADHAMMER!!
- 1.7 As the man said:
- 1.8 Native Guide
- 1.9 Total Natives Killed in the First Dalpok Raid:
- 1.10 Natives Killed List: Wicksick Raid
HAR,HAHARHHARHAAAHRRR!!!!
Pull up your pants and throw out your empty rum bottles because shore leave is over!!! The Captain has decided that Wicksick will be the location of the Scurvy Crew of the Hell-Born Strumpet's second raid!!!! The Captain has already slain two of the local defenders and is shocked to learn that they have no fear of pirates. This be not a fault of theirs. It be the mistake of all pirates, that we have not shown them all the fun they're missing in their wretched existences as rumless natives. They even committed a sin to piratedom and referred to Captain Whitney as an Outsider, and not as a grog-chugging, mermaid-coveting, pirate. They are obviously unaware of the depths of drunken cruelty that distinguishes Pirates from Outsiders.
The Captain has decided that come July 12th the Scurvy Crew will educate them in murder and inebriated property destruction. All crewmembers be hereby given notice to gather in the jungle outside of Wicksick in anticipation of our July 12th pillaging. Sharpen your cutlasses and fill up your rum flasks because there's more than enough murdering for any pirate!!!!
Current goals be:
- ANNIHILATE THE RUMLESS, ELEPHANT-WORSHIPING NATIVES OF WICKSICK
- Crew the ship: The Hell-born Strumpet (the bonniest ship in whatever ocean the island's in)
- Terrorize the locals
- Pursue the elusive three-headed monkey
- Rum
- Keelhauling
- Wenches
- Plunder
- Grog
The Code of The Scurvy Crew
Any Pirates with the fortitude of spirit, or plenty of the hard spirits with which to fortify themselves may join, er, yargh...
- Every man shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full share and a half in all Prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Surgeon, Boatswain and Gunner shall have one Share and quarter.
- If any man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be marroon'd with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm and shot.
- If any Many shall steel any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be marroon'd or shot.
- If at any Time we should meet another Marrooner (that is Pyrate) that Man that shall sign his Articles without the Consent of our Company, shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.
- That Man that shall strike another whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Mose's Law (that is 40 stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.
- That Man that shall snap his Arms, or smoak Tobacco in the Hold, without a cap to his Pipe, or carry a Candle lighted without a Lanthorn, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article.
- That Man that shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.
- If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement he shall have 400 pieces of Eight; if a limb 800.
- If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.
Now accepting crew for the positions of:
- The Captain: Tyler Whitney
When the crew left for the Dalpok raid they were tied with tea-swilling monarchists for dominance of the island. In as little as two weeks the ranks have swelled to DOUBLE what they were when we left. The Captain be pleased to see so many lime-eating parrot perches have returned to the crew.
With Shore Leave over all crewmembers be advised to report to the jungle outside Wicksick. We be forgoing the naming of a particular spot to rally our band of brigands as there's no mecca of piratedom like the Shipwreck outside Wicksick. Just blend into the jungle and hopefully the stench of rum, gold, and blood won't give you away to the parrot-eaters before the ultra-violence on the 12th.
The Captain's will be that any crewmembers still lingering around the wreck should announce the coming raid by writing it in the sand and placing signs for all to see. Inquirers should be directed to this wiki or simply told to go to Wiksik with rum on their breath and murder in their hearts...
- First Mate: Johnny Bollocks Last one to get drunk and laid will feel the lick o' the cat!
- Sailing Master: Rob Cath Eye, it's good fun raiding the natives. Got 5 kills so far. Going back for the shaman. Who's with me eh???
- Master's Mate: Teach
- Ship's Surgeon: Captain Dan HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! HERE I COME, WIKSIKS!!!!!!!!
- Surgeon's Mate: Rob Da Blades
- Boatswain: Xintlaer (Got my leadership skill Capt'n... awaiting orders...)
- Gunner: Wifey Yargh!
- Gunner's Mate: Wolverine This bein' before the whole Weapon X thing o' course.
- Cartographer: Baron Von Roeboat
- Quartermaster:
- Carpenter: Dian Cecht
- Carpenter's Mate:
- Steward:
- Cook: Pieman
- Billiard-marker: Tycho "Yarr" Everett
- Cabin Boy:born to kill
- Wenches: Irene
- Rum Runners: Opium Joe
- Ship's Monkey: Dr Capitalism(The monkey was attacked by natives... time to go pillage a village.)
- Monkey's Mate:
- Our preserved Native head: Shrubar, shaman of Dalpok
- and Able Bodied Seamen:
- Marines(Outsider Soldiers):
Pirates be expert cartographers
There has been talk of pirates scouring the mountain for buried treasure, and the Captain has seen Mr. Wifey in one of the tunnels. To help with navigation here be the first map of paths under the mountain yet produced.
Thanks go to Dr J for his spelunking.
The Case of Mr. Badhammer
Stoertebecker says "Tyler Whitney. You are the respected leader of a good clan, but yet you host a zerger using the names 'Badhammer' withing your ranks. Continue to do so and none of your deeds will get any recognition." (2006-06-15 14:01) Stoertebecker says "http://shartak.forumsplace.com/message176.html" (2006-06-15 14:02) Stoertebecker says "Correct your clan before others have to do it." (2006-06-15 14:02)
The Captain does not generally respond favorably to threats, and questions any foreign influence's authority to punish a member of the crew. Still, he is appreciative that the multiple character abuse of Mr. Badhammer has been brought to light, evidence has been provided, and the Crew has been given an opportunity to address the matter themselves before any other action is taken. If one were to recall all previous announcements of the clan at no time was zerging promoted or encouraged. Captain Whitney would normally decide that this was a personal offense to be corrected by the parties assaulted by the zerg, but since it was done during an official raid of The Scurvy Crew putative measures shall be taken.
MR. BADHAMMER!!
You are hereby stripped of your rank as Quartermaster until such time as you can demonstrate the removal of the zerg and after a reasonable period of good conduct. You are henceforth demoted to the rank of Able Bodied Seaman. You are also commanded to report to the deck of the Strumpet by Saturday morning to be flogged, 50 lashes with the cutlass. If you do not report to the deck any member of the Crew has liberty to kill Mr. Badhammer once, but only once. If one examines him and discovers that another member of the crew has already punished him he is to remain unharmed. In any case it is recomended that Mr. Badhammer report to the Strumpet for his lashes to preserve his own, and The Scurvy Crew's, reputation and honor. After which this matter shall be considered concluded and Mr. Badhammer will be free to rejoin the crew and resume his duties of drinking, plundering, and murder. Any further retaliation against Mr. Badhammer by any agent shall be considered an offense against the Scurvy Crew as a whole. If Mr. Badhammer continues his zerging he shall be expelled from the Scurvy Crew in disgrace.
It is the Captain's wish that this matter set precedent for the punishment of any similar offences. Evidence must be provided, and the Crew given opportunity to administer their own discipline.
Mr. Cath, the Sailing Master, has informed the Captain that Mr. Badhammer reported to the deck of the Strumpet and has taken his lashes. With this offense now punished the case of Mr. Badhammer shall be considered closed. If any member of the crew sees fit to give Mr. Badhammer a pint of rum to ease his suffering the Captain will look the other way...
I, Badhammer, of th' hell born strumpet, 'ave taken m' lashes. then i got good n drunk on rum t' f'rget that i had let down m' cap'n. at some point in th' night, i b'lieve th' 12th bottle o' rum, i cut off m' left hand and threw it to Mr. Cath an' offered him a hand whenever 'e needs one. i drank some more rum, asked for a cirgeon an' passed out a bloody drunken wreck of a pirate. i woke th' next day, to have found squidgey, th' killer, had hit me for 3 damage and informed me that i now had a rusty meathook for my left hand. th' next day captain dan, fixed me up wit' a real surg-ery. OI! he even gave m' different attachment fer m' hand. a cutlass, a hook, a harpoon, a knuckle duster. I have paid fer m' crime. An' m' crew will not be let down, i will kill more natives in the wiksik raid than any of you. even if i have to stay there for a month, oh yes, there will be blood. when the raid is over, i will talk wit' th' cap'n about getting my job back as quartermaster.--Badhammer 13:39, 7 July 2006 (UTC)
As the man said:
"The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate."
Native Guide
The Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet are looking for a native guide not only to translate and inform the crew of any hidden island booty, but also to be mocked and paid in small pox.
Total Natives Killed in the First Dalpok Raid:
- 46 (This be only the official count given by those who posted their exploits here. Several crewmembers may have cut swaths through the Dalpokers, yet abstained from announcing themselves because they did not know they could, or abstained from boasting for other, more mysterious reasons. Many, many more natives tasted cold steel, yet escaped death due to the crew's fatigue or their cutlasses' notoriously shoddy workmanship.)
Natives Killed List: Wicksick Raid
Tyler Whitney: The Captain has commenced hostilities with two, particularly foul-smelling natives, and is now awaiting the arrival of the rest of the crew before he makes his second run through the village.
Johny Bollocks:
Rob Cath:
Teach:
Captain Dan: That me the spirit! But I be afraid no one kills more then me, not even you. 25 is my aim!!!
Rob Da Blade:
Xintlaer:
Wifey:
Wolverine:
Baron Von Roeboat:
badhammer: since th' floggins i've been hungry fer some native blood t' prove m'self to th' cap'n again. i will kill 20 natives an' their shaman before i leave wiksik!
Pieman:
Tycho "Yarr" Everett:
Born to Kill:
Dr Capitalism:
Crimson Jake:
Sigfrid:
Anne Bonny:
Axelius:
OpiumJoe:
Irene:
