The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet

The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet
Leadership:	Captain Tyler Whitney
Members:	There be the Captain, the First Mate, the Sailing Master, the Master's Mate, the Gunner, the Ship's Surgeon, the Boatswain, Mr. Jake the Able-bodied Seaman, and A Monkey.
Goals:	The pursuit of booty and/or rum. YARRR!!!
Recruitment policy:	ARRR!! All crew positions be determined by first-come first-serve or no rules cage death match. Ye must be a pirate or pirate sympathizer. E-mail aehrig@hamilton.edu to be added to the manifest.
Contact:	If ye wish to name your own rank ye have liberty to add it to the ship's manifest or e-mail.

Avast me hearties!!!

In keeping with Captain Whitney's promise to keep the crew crotch-deep in booty, rum, and native women the Scurvy Crew is planning it's first organized raid. All salt-eating, monkey-coveting, grog-swilling, wastes of life should report to the wreck in anticipation of the June 1 departure. It be time the crew gave all pirates something to 'YAHHRRRGH!!!' about.

Current goals be:

Crew the ship: The Hell-born Strumpet (the bonniest ship in whatever ocean the island's in)

• Crew the ship
• Terrorize the locals
• Pursue the elusive three-headed monkey
• Rum
• Keelhauling
• Wenches
• Plunder
• Grog

The Code of The Scurvy Crew

Any Pirates with the fortitude of spirit, or plenty of the hard spirits with which to fortify themselves may join, er, yargh...

Now accepting crew for the positions of:

• The Captain: Tyler Whitney The Captain is pleased to see the lot of you mutinous crab-lickers return to your duties after the wreck. As the Scurvy Crew outnumbers all other clans on the island by a generous margin Captain Whitney decides it be time to make our presence felt. All crew members be under notice to report to the shore where the Strumpet wrecked on June 1 to be followed by a raid in force on Dalpok. Any who fail to stand to shall be flogged on the Quarterdeck by the Ship's Monkey at 6 bells.
• First Mate: Johnny Bollocks Last one to get drunk and laid will feel the lick o' the cat!
• Sailing Master: Rob Cath
• Master's Mate: Teach
• Ship's Surgeon: Captain Dan I've just come back from Derby... WHERE BE MY DONKEYS!!! I be at the shipwreck, waiting for my Donkeys and the raid!
• Surgeon's Mate: Rob Da Blades
• Boatswain: Xintlaer (Will show up surely... the idea of the raid be pleasin' me)
• Gunner: Wifey might not make it to the raid, but will try his damnedest.
• Gunner's Mate:
• Cartographer: Baron Von Roeboat
• Quartermaster:
• Carpenter:
• Carpenter's Mate:
• Steward:
• Cook: Pieman
• Cabin Boy:born to kill
• Wenches:
• Rum Runners:
• Ship's Monkey: Dr Capitalism(The monkey was attacked by natives... time to go pillage a village.)
• Monkey's Mate:
• Our preserved Native head: The Chief
• Our second preserved Native head: Shrubar, shaman of Dalpok
• and Able Bodied Seamen:

Crimson Jake

Sigfrid Süßermann will, in all likelihood, be at the raid. Where are we raiding, again?

Anne Bonny

Pirates be expert cartographers

There has been talk of pirates scouring the mountain for buried treasure, and the Captain has seen Mr. Wifey in one of the tunnels. To help with navigation here be the first map of paths under the mountain yet produced.

Thanks go to Dr J for his spelunking.

Thar be traitors in our midst

I wish I'd never see the day when a man would turn against his fellow pirate. Today, ICDFIFiringSquad attacked me, Wifey, your gunner. He shouted all manner of sexual profanities, which causes me to wonder about his sexual orientation, but that's beside the point. Get 'im, boys.

Wifey, Gunner of the Scurvy Crew, 16:47, 20 May 2006 (BST)

As for your grievance Mr. Wifey, brawling is of course to be expected in lots such as we, yet in the name of discipline the Captain's will is that none shall be tolerated while on duty (during raids). Mr. Wifey may demand satisfaction in any way he sees fit so long as both are of sound mind and body when called upon to perform their duties (namely the approaching pillaging and murdering). -Captain Tyler Whitney

I will castrate the traitor on sight, Wilfey. Captain Dan, Surgeon

As the man said:

"The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate."

Native Guide

The Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet are looking for a native guide not only to translate and inform the crew of any hidden island booty, but also to be mocked and paid in small pox.