The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet

The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet|-style="background-color: #ffffff; text-align: center;"
Leadership:	Captain Tyler Whitney
Members:	There be the Captain, the First Mate, the Sailing Master, the Master's Mate, the Gunner, the Gunner's Mate, the Ship's Surgeon, the Surgeon's Mate, a Rum Runner, the Cabin Boy, the Ship's Carpenter, the Boatswain, the Cartographer the Able-bodied Seamen, and A Monkey.
Goals:	The pursuit of booty and/or rum. YARRR!!!
Recruitment policy:	ARRR!! All crew positions be determined by first-come first-serve or no rules cage death match. Ye must be a pirate or pirate sympathizer. If ye wish to name your own rank ye have liberty to add it to the ship's manifest.
Contact:	E-mail aehrig@hamilton.edu to be added to the manifest.

HAR,HAHARHHARHAAAHRRR!!!!

Pull up your pants and throw out your empty rum bottles because shore leave is over!!! The Captain has decided that Wicksick will be the location of the Scurvy Crew of the Hell-Born Strumpet's second raid!!!! The Captain has already slain two of the local defenders and is shocked to learn that they have no fear of pirates. This be not a fault of theirs. It be the mistake of all pirates, that we have not shown them all the fun they're missing in their wretched existences as rumless natives. They even committed a sin to piratedom and referred to Captain Whitney as an Outsider, and not as a grog-chugging, mermaid-coveting, pirate. They are obviously unaware of the depths of drunken cruelty that distinguishes Pirates from Outsiders.

The Captain has decided that come July 12th the Scurvy Crew will educate them in murder and inebriated property destruction. All crewmembers be hereby given notice to gather in the jungle outside of Wicksick in anticipation of our July 12th pillaging. Sharpen your cutlasses and fill up your rum flasks because there's more than enough murdering for any pirate!!!!

Current goals be:

• ANNIHILATE THE RUMLESS, ELEPHANT-WORSHIPING NATIVES OF WICKSICK
• Crew the ship: The Hell-born Strumpet (the bonniest ship in whatever ocean the island's in)
• Terrorize the locals
• Pursue the elusive three-headed monkey
• Rum
• Keelhauling
• Wenches
• Plunder
• Grog

The Code of The Scurvy Crew

Any Pirates with the fortitude of spirit, or plenty of the hard spirits with which to fortify themselves may join, er, yargh...

• Every man shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full share and a half in all Prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Surgeon, Boatswain and Gunner shall have one Share and quarter.
• If any man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be marroon'd with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm and shot.
• If any Many shall steel any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be marroon'd or shot.
• If at any Time we should meet another Marrooner (that is Pyrate) that Man that shall sign his Articles without the Consent of our Company, shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.
• That Man that shall strike another whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Mose's Law (that is 40 stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.
• That Man that shall snap his Arms, or smoak Tobacco in the Hold, without a cap to his Pipe, or carry a Candle lighted without a Lanthorn, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article.
• That Man that shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.
• If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement he shall have 400 pieces of Eight; if a limb 800.
• If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.

Now accepting crew for the positions of:

• The Captain: Tyler Whitney

When the crew left for the Dalpok raid they were tied with tea-swilling monarchists for dominance of the island. In as little as two weeks the ranks have swelled to DOUBLE what they were when we left. The Captain be pleased to see so many lime-eating parrot perches have returned to the crew.

With Shore Leave over all crewmembers be advised to report to the jungle outside Wicksick. We be forgoing the naming of a particular spot to rally our band of brigands as there's no mecca of piratedom like the Shipwreck outside Wicksick. Just blend into the jungle and hopefully the stench of rum, gold, and blood won't give you away to the parrot-eaters before the ultra-violence on the 12th.

The Captain's will be that any crewmembers still lingering around the wreck should announce the coming raid by writing it in the sand and placing signs for all to see. Inquirers should be directed to this wiki or simply told to go to Wiksik with rum on their breath and murder in their hearts...

• First Mate: Johnny Bollocks Last one to get drunk and laid will feel the lick o' the cat!
• Sailing Master: Rob Cath Eye, it's good fun raiding the natives. Got 5 kills so far. Going back for the shaman. Who's with me eh???
• Master's Mate: Teach
• Ship's Surgeon: Captain Dan HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! HERE I COME, WIKSIKS!!!!!!!!
• Surgeon's Mate: Rob Da Blades
• Boatswain: Xintlaer They shall feel my blade deep between their ribs...
• Gunner: Wifey Yargh!
• Gunner's Mate: Wolverine This bein' before the whole Weapon X thing o' course.
• Cartographer: Baron Von Roeboat
• Quartermaster:
• Carpenter: Dian Cecht
• Carpenter's Mate:
• Steward:
• Cook: Pieman
• Billiard-marker: Tycho "Yarr" Everett
• Cabin Boy:born to kill
• Wenches: Irene
• Rum Runners: Opium Joe
• Ship's Monkey: Dr Capitalism(The monkey was attacked by natives... time to go pillage a village.)
• Monkey's Mate:
• Our preserved Native head: Shrubar, shaman of Dalpok
• and Able Bodied Seamen:

Crimson Jake

Sigfrid Süßermann Avast!

Anne Bonny

Axelius

b4ll54ck kill3r

Jim Davey Jones

badhammer

Karrak the Drunk

• Marines(Outsider Soldiers):
• Drunk, One-Eyed, No-Thumbed Swordsmith Who's Responsible for Every Poorly made Cutlass on the Island:

Pirates be expert cartographers

There has been talk of pirates scouring the mountain for buried treasure, and the Captain has seen Mr. Wifey in one of the tunnels. To help with navigation here be the first map of paths under the mountain yet produced.

Thanks go to Dr J for his spelunking.

The Case of Mr. Badhammer

Stoertebecker says "Tyler Whitney. You are the respected leader of a good clan, but yet you host a zerger using the names 'Badhammer' withing your ranks. Continue to do so and none of your deeds will get any recognition." (2006-06-15 14:01) Stoertebecker says "http://shartak.forumsplace.com/message176.html" (2006-06-15 14:02) Stoertebecker says "Correct your clan before others have to do it." (2006-06-15 14:02)

The Captain does not generally respond favorably to threats, and questions any foreign influence's authority to punish a member of the crew. Still, he is appreciative that the multiple character abuse of Mr. Badhammer has been brought to light, evidence has been provided, and the Crew has been given an opportunity to address the matter themselves before any other action is taken. If one were to recall all previous announcements of the clan at no time was zerging promoted or encouraged. Captain Whitney would normally decide that this was a personal offense to be corrected by the parties assaulted by the zerg, but since it was done during an official raid of The Scurvy Crew putative measures shall be taken.

MR. BADHAMMER!!

You are hereby stripped of your rank as Quartermaster until such time as you can demonstrate the removal of the zerg and after a reasonable period of good conduct. You are henceforth demoted to the rank of Able Bodied Seaman. You are also commanded to report to the deck of the Strumpet by Saturday morning to be flogged, 50 lashes with the cutlass. If you do not report to the deck any member of the Crew has liberty to kill Mr. Badhammer once, but only once. If one examines him and discovers that another member of the crew has already punished him he is to remain unharmed. In any case it is recomended that Mr. Badhammer report to the Strumpet for his lashes to preserve his own, and The Scurvy Crew's, reputation and honor. After which this matter shall be considered concluded and Mr. Badhammer will be free to rejoin the crew and resume his duties of drinking, plundering, and murder. Any further retaliation against Mr. Badhammer by any agent shall be considered an offense against the Scurvy Crew as a whole. If Mr. Badhammer continues his zerging he shall be expelled from the Scurvy Crew in disgrace.

It is the Captain's wish that this matter set precedent for the punishment of any similar offences. Evidence must be provided, and the Crew given opportunity to administer their own discipline.

Mr. Cath, the Sailing Master, has informed the Captain that Mr. Badhammer reported to the deck of the Strumpet and has taken his lashes. With this offense now punished the case of Mr. Badhammer shall be considered closed. If any member of the crew sees fit to give Mr. Badhammer a pint of rum to ease his suffering the Captain will look the other way...

I, Badhammer, of th' hell born strumpet, 'ave taken m' lashes. then i got good n drunk on rum t' f'rget that i had let down m' cap'n. at some point in th' night, i b'lieve th' 12th bottle o' rum, i cut off m' left hand and threw it to Mr. Cath an' offered him a hand whenever 'e needs one. i drank some more rum, asked for a cirgeon an' passed out a bloody drunken wreck of a pirate. i woke th' next day, to have found squidgey, th' killer, had hit me for 3 damage and informed me that i now had a rusty meathook for my left hand. th' next day captain dan, fixed me up wit' a real surg-ery. OI! he even gave m' different attachment fer m' hand. a cutlass, a hook, a harpoon, a knuckle duster. I have paid fer m' crime. An' m' crew will not be let down, i will kill more natives in the wiksik raid than any of you. even if i have to stay there for a month, oh yes, there will be blood. when the raid is over, i will talk wit' th' cap'n about getting my job back as quartermaster.--Badhammer 13:39, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

As the man said:

"The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate."

Native Guide

The Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet are looking for a native guide not only to translate and inform the crew of any hidden island booty, but also to be mocked and paid in small pox.

Total Natives Killed in the First Dalpok Raid:

• 46 (This be only the official count given by those who posted their exploits here. Several crewmembers may have cut swaths through the Dalpokers, yet abstained from announcing themselves because they did not know they could, or abstained from boasting for other, more mysterious reasons. Many, many more natives tasted cold steel, yet escaped death due to the crew's fatigue or their cutlasses' notoriously shoddy workmanship.)

Natives Killed List: Wicksick Raid

Tyler Whitney: The Captain's new total is 4.

Johny Bollocks:

Rob Cath:

Teach:

Captain Dan: 2 Tis obvious we be of equal calibre and strengh, let us both aim for 40. I see ye need to be redeemed, but I wish to prove myself to the Capt'n also. In the Dalpok raid, I proved my worth as a senior crew member. Now I fight to show that I am worthy of this honoured posistion to the Captain. I have killed Foo Fighter! He was the Leader of the Wiksik Head Hunters. Well its his head that now hangs from my belt! (good job, that guy makes me mad)--Badhammer 00:20, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Rob Da Blade:

Xintlaer: Harrr... I shall not count the heads... I shall KILL, PLUNDER, BURN, AND RAPE... or may that be that the order will be diffrent...

Wifey:

Wolverine:

Baron Von Roeboat:

badhammer: since th' floggins i've been hungry fer some native blood t' prove m'self to th' cap'n again. i will kill 20 natives an' their shaman before i leave wiksik! today i kill'd a mistrrr Josh Green o' Wiksik o'ver by th' mountain afterrr i saw Le Pirate Robert n tipped me hat ta 'im. since i be not in wiksik yet and the raid hasn't beggun, e's not part o' th' count i say. but a kill none the less. an' i killed the monkey he was fightin' too. harhar.--Badhammer 20:33, 8 July 2006 (UTC) OI! cap'n dan! i see ye' aimin' fer 25! i see ye' an' raise ye' i aim fer 30 now. may i die an' haunt them until i come back to kill em again.--Badhammer 21:37, 8 July 2006 (UTC) OI! dan! 35! mate i aim for 40 now. i be sittin' a lil north o' the town, i just got revived bby a wanddering shaman and ended up a few paces north o th' town. tomorrow i attack.--Badhammer 09:25, 11 July 2006 (UTC) You attack zevna for 3 damage. They die. (the raid hasn't begun yet, but i killed another one. --Badhammer 19:46, 11 July 2006 (UTC)

Pieman:

Tycho "Yarr" Everett: 1 Armadax wot callz hizilf Butchur has provokd mi. (Planning to distract natives with ticking GPS units and glittering gems and "brown liquid" - a bit o mud from the freshwater spring.)

Born to Kill: After thsi raid, i will no longer be the cabin boy, but the cabin man! after i clean my pipes out in the natives i kill. i aim for at least a threesome, maybe more if my cutlasses don't break as often as they do.

Dr Capitalism:

Crimson Jake:

Sigfrid:

Anne Bonny:

Axelius:

OpiumJoe:

Irene:

b4ll54ck kill3r: Upon my arrival at Wikstick I will kill as many as I please!

Karrak the Drunk: If'n I can get to Wikstick or wha'ever tha name be, I'll take 'least five of th' stinkin' native's heads.