Talk:The Derby Protectors

Hello

Great exalted leader, I am Lord Jones, I became aware of this group through the heretical writings of the vile tome named the Derby Evening Press. I am a son of Derby, and on my arrival to the island I went out and explored, bringing pain and death the the undeserving natives.

After a long time out in the wilderness I returned to Derby to find out that the town had changed, gone was the need to kill all natives in the own, natives where actually welcomed. On finding that this sickening act has taken place, I decided to undertake a one man war aginst the natives in Derby, while initally may crusade was successful, over a period of time I gained a Kill On Site notice. While this notice did not effect me in anyway, I did mean that I had to take my crusade to the world of the spirits, and from that day I have been haunting Derby.

When I saw the notice in the Derby Evening News about the Derby Protectors I knew that others felt the samne way I did about the Eastern Federation and its ways. As such I decided to join your clan.

Yours most greatfully

Lord Rupert Finsburry Charles Arthur Philip Louis Albert David Mountbatten Windsor-Jones( Lord Jones 23:08, 14 June 2007 (UTC) )

• Ignore him, he's just annoyed that I killed him while he was on the beach on the same square as a native chick. Brutal, i noticed he was gettin kinda friendly with her, both of them KOS, you know. So I separated this happy coupple, Brutaly. - Nathan Explosion

• Lord Jones, we are truly brothers in arms! I am glad we share such passion for our beloved Derby. We cannot let her fall! Do what you can for the cause. The Eastern Federation must be made aware that there are those in Derby who will not sit back and let them oppress us. Leave the civilian population; it is they who suffer so much already. Attack those who belong to the Federation, and let them know fear. Spread the word - if three of us can cause so many problems to the Federation, imagine the effects of a whole town rising up against them!--Arthur Lines 10:48, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

The town probably wont kick out the only organised defence force, medical service, and education service. We haven't done anything negative to them. On a flavoursome note, if we were kicked out, it'd be pretty cool, because we'd lead a gurrlia war on you. and we have bigger numbers. - RobZombie

• Keep telling yourself that, murderer.--Arthur Lines 21:57, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

• Well i did post a reply but it seems to have been lost to the winds of time. Anyways if my great exaulted leader could contact me if possibile via private message on the Official Shartak forum, i would like to discuss a cunning plan I am forumlating

Lord Rupert Finsburry Charles Arthur Philip Louis Albert David Mountbatten Windsor-Jones( Lord Jones 22:16, 15 June 2007 (UTC) )

• I have contacted you in the manner of which you spoke, and await the plan with anticipation!--Arthur Lines 15:59, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

Heeyy, let's all try to be reasonable. Join the EF. We have cookies. Got milk? No? We have milk too. -Elegost 01:53, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

We've got more cookies and milk than in your wildest dreams, Arthur...come to us...digestive biscuits, custard creams, fig rolls! All served to the people of Derby with the rum or milk of thier choice. But we're on emergency backup supply milk. We're on the dog's milk...- Rob

...--Marvin 11:00, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

we've got uhhhh... rum aged 3 years, 6 years and century old. as for milk, i think we have goat's, full cream, skimmed, low-fat, powdered, dandelion, milk of magnesia. We don't just have those biscuits, we've got oreos, chips ahoy!, oatmeal, ginger snaps. etc -Elegost 14:13, 16 June 2007 (UTC) join us, you won't regret it. :)

Well it sucks that I'm both lactose intolerant and wheat hypersensitive which means that your biscuits and milk would kill me, so I am afraid I would have to decline the offer.

Lord Rupert Finsburry Charles Arthur Philip Louis Albert David Mountbatten Windsor-Jones Lord Jones 22:22, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

"But I just want milk that tastes like milk" Name that add--Marvin 12:04, 23 June 2007 (UTC)

The right to know

Your five members have the right to know that the Federation isn't an evil entity at all, and is in fact, and always has been, working for the safety and security of Derby citezens. Comparing your campaign of racist gurrila war, to our school, hospital, police force and Shartak's first standing army...well, I just think your members have the right to know what's what. Perhaps we can negotiate some kind of deal? one more thing, you know who all 14 of the real Privateers are, and who all 40 odd of the Federation are, but we dont know who you are, except for three. how about a members list, to even the playing field?

Would you listen to him? The 28 active members of the Eastern Federation cannot handle 5 'racist gurrila (sic)' fighters? And with odds of over 5:1, you want us to give up one of our concessions to 'even the playing field'? Listen to this man, Derby! These are your rulers! They claim to offer peace and stability, but their words are false. They care not for your well-being, and are unable to defend themselves. What if the Derby Protectors were to decide to attack you - the innocent civilian? Would you trust the Federation to be able to stop us?--Arthur Lines 17:30, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

One more-one more thing, if this is some beef you have with me in particular, I'm okay with settling it in mano-e-mano combat - Rob Zombie

Things are no longer personal now, you swine! I have my eyes set on the bigger picture!--Arthur Lines 17:30, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

Bigger picture? he means selfish ambition. -Elegost 02:12, 22 June 2007 (UTC)

I do not. I cannot account for your own priorities, but I value Derby above my own life. It is Derby which I am striving to save from your evil clutches!--Arthur Lines 16:14, 23 June 2007 (UTC)

DEP

Sorry to interject here, but the very people you attempt to subvert are the actual reporters of the DEP. Myself included. - Rob Zombie.

You have not even realised it yet! What can I say? The murderer cannot spot the simplest of things! Ha! I amaze myself, sometimes. --Arthur Lines 17:30, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

If you're only problem with the Federation was me then you'd not have killed James and the Hospitallers. So come on, evil mastermind/heroic crusader, tell me your evil plan/cunning counter? Rob

Read the article - it tells you why! I kept my activities first to the Privateers, and then the others joined in. Then my eyes opened to your obscene corruption!--Arthur Lines 10:22, 22 June 2007 (UTC)

But we run the newspaper too, so the very men who you see as corupt, actualy published your story. Rob

If you want to publicise your own failings, then that is your call!--Arthur Lines 16:12, 23 June 2007 (UTC)

I dont keep any secrets from the good people of Derby. Rob

lippsyl

this is a man of yours, and he has been killing UNALIGNED (or in your words FREE) derbymen, guests from other villages and visitors to derby. http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=5322

care to explain? -Elegost 10:50, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

The key word is 'has'. He has seen the light, and now directs his actions towards the truly deserving.--Arthur Lines 13:18, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

Okay then, he IS still doing so. Check his recent kills please. If you want, please reprimand him and keep his actions directed only to those involved in the conflict. He is spoiling the game for those who are still getting the hang of the game or are unaligned. -Elegost 05:35, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

The most recent outsider is a pirate, who has since been killed again. This pirate had also killed lippsyl before. I consider lippsyl's actions in this case fully justified. Pirates have no rights.--Arthur Lines 08:39, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

okay then, so just please tell him to refrain from attacking and killing OTHER OUTSIDERS who are in any way uninvolved in our conflict.

And by the by, Megatron and Little Togu are in town, attacking anyone at random. do you mind getting rid of them too, instead of just us only? they will kill you when they find you. you know, for variety. -Elegost 02:15, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Alice has also been murdering outside of the box, she's got the blood of one 'U know why' on her hands. - Rob

Again, this was before she joined the Derby Protectors. And note that 'U know why' has the blod of 'Aine' on his hands. Perhaps Alice saw this murder and righted the wrong. Anyhow, is RobZombie complaining about murdering?--Arthur Lines 13:18, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

I'm aware of Aine, and U know why is currently in questioning. And I've never murdered anyone. Everything I've done has been police action, or Holy War. Rob.

Even the corrupt Derby Court found you guilty of murder, and guilty you shall forever be until you truly atone for your actions.--Arthur Lines 18:09, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

People who atone dont get onto Vic Reeve's Rogues Gallery now do they? If what you say is true, and its not, then I'm an infamous murderer and you're the hero. Heroes fad into obscurity, pirates live on ;) - Rob

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

Wow! I haven't bothered to look into the "Derby Protectors" until tonight and I must say Arthur, if all you manage to do from here on in is amuse me with your dribble, then I'll be happy, as that's all you and your merry band of semi developed neanderthals could really manage.

But that aside, I congratulate you on your efforts. Without you, Id be slaying people abroad on Ranger duties and now, I get to do it at home as a Privateer. You slander us with the usual mis-guided claims of the regular town fool and expect anyone to take you seriously? Some have, as your numbers have grown from 2... to 5! Amazing! But in time, ignorant babblers like yourself, KJ and a handful of others fade into the background while real men and woman, create the works of the ages.

A couple of questions before I sign off if you don't mind my good sir:

1. Why have you gone from being apologetic for harming natives in self defence, to wanting to kill them and rid Derby of them? Did you find Blue Hummingbird intimidating? I know I did. But she has amazing breasts. Its like looking at a car accident. Worst part is, you'll be dead by the time you realize your being rude to that lovely native. Or... you have a talent of changing focal points of your psychosis?

2. Why aren't the members listed anywhere on the Wiki or in-game page? Don't the civilian populace of Derby deserve to know the magnificent 5 individuals bringing racism and pure idiocy to our boring lives? I need to know the names so I can thank you all personally.

3. Why didn't you help out in the "Battle of Midway"? Didn't you get the memo? Perfect opportunity for you and your jabroni's to show those filthy heathen natives who's the boss eh? I'm at a loss at your commitment Arthur. Remember, Midway island is rightful property of Derby and York. You should make efforts to keep it clean.

Last one (I promise :D)

4. Where is your HQ? I need to know where I can mail my letters of complaints and where I can get a brochure of all the lovely services and amenities the Fab 5 have to offer. Are you bringing illumination to the masses? Do you think your William Wallace or such? He didn't come to a good end you know.

Anyways. I appreciate your efforts in getting rid of criminals and scum in Derby by hiring them and leading by example. You are a pantheon of greatness! At least our hunger for battle is transparent and open. We also have neglected to hide ourselves as we obviously lack the cowardice to do so and would appreciate further demonstrations by yourself and Jabroni Inc to raise the bar.

Yours Truly

Cthulhu