Talk:York Pirate Slayers

Joing the Pirate Slayers

If you're keen on pirate hunting perhaps you should join The Pirate Hunters or The Order of Patriots rather than start up a new clan. It makes sense to join an already established clan rather than go through all the effort to start up a brand new identical one. Zeff 12:29, 11 September 2006 (UTC)
What you say is interesting but our aims and style of dealing with problems(pirates) is different from your group and the Order.--Oztec 08:22, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

To be honest I can't really see any difference between our goals. In what way is your group different? Are you sure you won't reconsider joining up? Sign up to the Pirate Hunters now and you get a free Pirate Hunter Badge. You also get the high privellage and honour of wearing our spiffy skin-tight and colourful uniform - perfect for killing pirates - you'll be the envy and rolemodel of everyone in York! Additionaly, if you manage to kill the most pirates within a week, you get to wear the OFFICIAL Pirate Hunter Hunting Hat for a whole day! Its tempting, isn't it? Zeff 10:14, 12 September 2006 (UTC)
I was considering joining but then i spotted our differences immediately- you pirate hunters are civilized bunch with your tight pants and flashy hats...the pirate slayers must forego these pleasures. We are so devoted to killing pirates that in the midst of our slayings we might even resemble them, this is the unfortunate consequence of being a slayer. Also did you know we stink nearly as bad as them?--Oztec 08:37, 13 September 2006 (UTC) As the Founder of the Jolly Roger Gang I must admit...that all anti-pirate groups are rather boring. " Oh kill all the pirates they stink." After killing them over and over and hearing this you get rather dulled to their pleas. I will admit that reading the pirate hunters accounts does always give me a laugh. The york pirate slayers will be good exp for some of my new recurits however...--Michael edwards 23:28, 12 September 2006 (UTC)
I do not communicate with the weakling enemy...pirate hunters have reached the shipwreck to kill, how many pirates have lived long enough to see the sights of York?--Oztec 08:37, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

Funny. The largest group in Shatak is PIRATE! I have the hounour to hold a senior crEw membership in that, I that is THE SCURVY CREW OF THE HELL BORN STRUMPET!!! Long live the Captain and the Crew! Captain Dan

Believe me Oztec, the tight pants are not a "pleasure". They are very uncomfortable indeed - unless you're into that kind of thing... (we won't hold it against you if you are). The constant pressure of the tight tight pants of the Pirate Hunters are used to remind us of the constant pressure that Pirates inflict upon the good people of Shartak - thus constantly reminding us of our noble goal. If you think we are nothing more than civilized nobles with no fighting ability then you are wrong - it takes a tremendous amount of fighting ability and endurance to be able to kill pirates while under the near fatal strain of the Pirate Hunter Power Pants. If a normal person would wear them they would be instantly broken by their crushing grip - indeed we even use them as a very messy and hard-to-pull-off pirate assassination technique - but if I told you the details I'd have to force you to wear them. Do not be taken in by our appearences, our group has sent more pirates to their graves than even the Order of Patriots (although this is mainly due to the fact that they spend most of their time defending York, rather than actively hunting Pirates). Also do not underestimate the enemy! They may be mere Pirates, but when they are in a swarm they can level anything in their path! The horde of Pirates march through the jungle, ruthlessly devouring anything in their path in order to protect their colony and their all-important queen! Do not goad them further!! Do not tempt them to come to York!! Instead trek through the jungle, travel to their foul shipwreck, and destroy the eggs before any more baby pirates can hatch!!!

• As for you Captain Dan, the Scurvy Crew is a formidable enemy - its size is indeed an issue for us - every time we kill on of your members, another takes its place. Your captain, Tyler Whitney was one of the hardest and most drunken opponents I have ever faced. But being a pirate is nothing to boast about!! It is something to hide from your neo-conservative, conformist parents until they find out where you go at night after hiring a private investigator, and then they are outraged and persuede you that you are evil and send you to a fundamentalist rehabilitation happy camp but to no avail, so you they cut off all contact with you after a huge argument and then you leave home to follow your dream to become a broadway acto...

ANYWAY that dosen't matter!!! All pirates will be shot on sight - although being a Pirate Hunter means being in a permenant state of low-ammo (usually because we had to eat the ammo for survival of the extreme conditions we have to endure) so we'll probably stab you on sight instead. Of course, most of the time we are without machetes as we had to use them too as an emergency food supply. So at the very LEAST, all pirates will be given a nasty bite (and possibly a few bruises) on sight.

• AND Michael Edwards of the Jolly Roger gang! Your group has proven more elusive than the Scurvy Crew, so we may have to resort to underhanded tactics when dealing with you. If you prove too formidable, we may have to resort to ganging up on you and calling you names. But one thing I do resent is the fact that you said that we hunt Pirates because they stink! This is an UNFORGIVABLE mis-interpretation of our goals and we have reserved a set of Pirate Hunter Power Pants as a punishment! We are not in the least bit concerned with the smell of Pirates!! Indeed the very notion of a Pirate Hunter using his nostrils for actual smelling is utterly absurd!!! The highly trained nostrils of a Pirate Hunter are used as a launching device for a variety of deadly and unexpected projectiles!! If you mis-interpret our goals or offend our nostrils once again, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO THROW SOMETHING AT YOU! Zeff 17:30, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

Strange after listening to that most mindless piece of ranting i no longer feel the urge to kill pirates...rather i now feel like killing all people who wear tight pants! MUST KILL ZEFF!
but i still think the pirates be chicken shit.--Oztec 19:31, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

Now you know how we Pirate Hunters feel. We never get Zeff started about the pants. The pants are a sore spot (obvious potential joke here...but I am SO not going there). Ever since the three headed monkey stole Zeff's pants (a real feat, mind you), he's been cranky. It's so hard to kill pirates when one is nekkid below the waist. Well, actually, it's very easy (they keep shrieking "Arr! Me eyes!" and turning their heads away), but it's rather undignified. Black Joe

What do you mean you no longer feel the urge to kill Pirates?! As a Pirate Hunter you must never forget the five sacred URGES! But it dosen't matter... Oztec, my rosy-cheeked young ragamuffin, it seems you are not yet ready to endure the Pirate Hunter training methods. This is understandable, as you are still young. I have every confidence that one day you too will grow up to be a fine and spiffy Pirate Hunter with a Hat of your very own. Until then, a piece of advice from your new role-model and tutor - make the most of your youth!! Approach everything you do with your vigorous youthful passion, and one day you too will be able to achieve your dream of proudly equiping the Purple Pirate Hunter Pants of Power and Passion!!

I apologise if my fantastical rant disturbed you or shocked you (or anyone else) to the core of your being (or beings), but it is as Pirate Hunter Murray (aka Black Joe) said - monkeys are indeed one of the Pirate Hunters arch-enemies, second only to Pirtates. Luckily I have managed to craft a new set of pantaloons from the skin of a shark - thus enabling me to cover my previously exposed vitals. This may decrease the amount of swooning young ladies (and even married men) next time I come to restock in town, although they will no doubt be disappointed after getting excited about my reported state of nudity. But I suppose its for the best... Zeff 15:07, 14 September 2006 (UTC)