Difference between revisions of "The Secret History of Captain Tyler Whitney"

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==Here Lies the Secret History of Tyler Whitney, Capt. of the Hell-Borne Strumpet==
 
==Here Lies the Secret History of Tyler Whitney, Capt. of the Hell-Borne Strumpet==
  
Chapter One: A Pirate is Born.
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===Chapter One: A Pirate is Born.===
  
Captain Tyler Whitney was born Thietland Willbrecht at the height of the Age of Piracy. The son of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landgrave Landgrave] Kaspiar Von Whithoven, A lesser Prussian noble given to drunkenness and sudden murderous fits amongst the peasantry of his posessions. It was these fits that finally drove Langrave Von Whithoven's deaf mistress Helga (Whitney's mother, no last name) to flee to Amsterdam with her infant son only 2 days after his birth. Captain Whitney was without a name the first four years of his life as to call him by his rightful surname would have attracted the attention the local Dutch merchantmen. Many of whom were familiar with the Landgrave due to his funding of ultimately disastrous expeditions in pursuit of golden snow in Iceland. Helga finally settled on Thietland Willbrecht as it was the name of a brand of buckle polish, popular then in the northern part of the country. In Amsterdam Willbrecht's mother supported herself and her young son in the usual manner a young woman with limited education and communication skills supports herself in Amsterdam... She cooked. It was at the age of six, while Thietland's mother was busy slaughtering a baby goat, that the young lad was press-ganged into the crew of Flemmish salmon-boat. This would be the future Captain's first experience on the high seas...
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Captain Tyler Whitney was born Thietland Willbrecht at the height of the Age of Piracy. The son of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landgrave Landgrave] Kaspiar Von Whithoven, A lesser Prussian noble given to drunkenness and sudden murderous fits amongst the peasantry of his posessions. It was these fits that finally drove Langrave Von Whithoven's deaf mistress Helga (Whitney's mother, no last name) to flee to Amsterdam with her infant son only 2 days after his birth. Captain Whitney was without a name the first four years of his life as to call him by his rightful surname would have attracted the attention the local Dutch merchantmen. Many of whom were familiar with the Landgrave due to his funding of ultimately disastrous expeditions in pursuit of golden snow in Iceland. Helga finally settled on the name Thietland Willbrecht as it was the name of a brand of buckle polish, popular then in the northern part of the country (and 2 of only 67 words she could read). In Amsterdam Willbrecht's mother supported herself and her young son in the usual manner a young woman with limited education and communication skills supports herself in Amsterdam... She cooked. It was at the age of six, while Thietland's mother was busy slaughtering a baby goat, that the young lad was press-ganged into the crew of a Flemmish salmon-boat. This would be the future Captain's first experience on the high seas...

Revision as of 05:01, 8 February 2007

Here Lies the Secret History of Tyler Whitney, Capt. of the Hell-Borne Strumpet

Chapter One: A Pirate is Born.

Captain Tyler Whitney was born Thietland Willbrecht at the height of the Age of Piracy. The son of Landgrave Kaspiar Von Whithoven, A lesser Prussian noble given to drunkenness and sudden murderous fits amongst the peasantry of his posessions. It was these fits that finally drove Langrave Von Whithoven's deaf mistress Helga (Whitney's mother, no last name) to flee to Amsterdam with her infant son only 2 days after his birth. Captain Whitney was without a name the first four years of his life as to call him by his rightful surname would have attracted the attention the local Dutch merchantmen. Many of whom were familiar with the Landgrave due to his funding of ultimately disastrous expeditions in pursuit of golden snow in Iceland. Helga finally settled on the name Thietland Willbrecht as it was the name of a brand of buckle polish, popular then in the northern part of the country (and 2 of only 67 words she could read). In Amsterdam Willbrecht's mother supported herself and her young son in the usual manner a young woman with limited education and communication skills supports herself in Amsterdam... She cooked. It was at the age of six, while Thietland's mother was busy slaughtering a baby goat, that the young lad was press-ganged into the crew of a Flemmish salmon-boat. This would be the future Captain's first experience on the high seas...