Shartak Insane Asylum

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Shartak Insane Asylum
In-game page
Leadership: Chalice
Members: 0
Goals: Providing an inefficient hospital specializing in the treatment of persons with forms of mental illness.
Recruitment policy: If you want to join, you're crazy enough.
Contact: Don't worry about the man, just join.

History and Function

The Island of Shartak is filled to the rim with loonies who babble on and on and on and on about trivial things like patriotism and religious persecution. Here at the Shartak Insane Alysum, we keep tabs on these insane men and women from our headquarters in York. While the Asylum's Counsel has stated that it's impossible to control these crazies, we can keep them from leaving the island and spreading to the rest of the world. This being the case, the rest of the world is quickly realising that Shartak is the perfect place to dump their lunatics. This is the only explaination for what goes on on this island.

The Funny Farm Breeds

The loonies are classified into three classes.

  • Class number one: The criminally insane psychopaths are located in this class. They are extremely dangerous, armed to the teeth, and are an incredible risk to themselves and others. If you see one, run. These are psychos with advanced antisocial personality disorders, who can not be talked out of doing what they do, no matter what position in your Psyche class you graduated from.


  • Class number two: The Psychotics. They lack the ability to function socially. They occasionally, habitually, or permanently lose/have lost their contact with reality, and have a general inability to think or behave rationally. They can be dangerous if provoked, and cannot be talked to.


  • Class number three: Babbling crazy men and women, no serious threat to others although they could be a threat to themselves. These folks are the ones with minor illnesses, such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Depression. This class also includes alcoholics and substance abusers. They can usually coexist nicely with sane folk, but they get a lot of stares.

Meet the Creep(ers)

Below is a current list of the loonies that have been indicted with insanity, regardless of their own will. Depending on their class they may or may not be safe. Notes are added along with each individual's name and information.


Class 3 Loonies

  • Name:
  • Notes:

Class 2 Loonies

  • Name: Lutheran
  • Notes: Christian Extremist. Kills on unfounded suspicions, very dangerous. May spare you if you tell him you're Protestant. Will kill all Catholics on sight, blames everything on religious persecution. Rambles and raves and foams at the mouth when talking about his cause. Currently in the area of Derby, spreading his faith, after being chased from York by everyone.


  • Name: Serious Sam
  • Notes: Overzealous York Patriot, presumably has rabies. Serious Sam has committed incredible crimes against humanity, especially pirates and fellow Yorkmen. He is a danger to all in his vicinity unless you're on his side, in which case you can't understand this anyway. Founded a militia which cooperated greatly with the omnipresent governments of York. Go figure.


  • Name: Kjendlie
  • Notes: See Serious Sam, above, for general description, but change the last sentence to "led a police force in York that alienated all his allies all over the island. Go figure." Very paranoid individual. Decapitate first, talk later.


  • Name: Keiichi
  • Notes: This guy talks about torsos a lot, and is only a danger if you're in York. Ignore him, that's the worst thing you could possibly do to him. A serial killer obsessed with self-image, very low self esteem, easy to wound mentally. Don't talk about cats in his presence.

Class 1 Loonies

  • Name: Armadox
  • Notes: Kills anything and everything in his path. Sociopathic, will stop at nothing to terrorise mankind of any race, religion, gender, or criminal orientation. This man kills his cult following. He has named his machetes. He steals babies from their cribs and burns down taverns. He makes the bravest men run in fear, and is undeniably one of Shartak's most legendary men. Unbelievably, Armadox is also a mango merchant.


  • Name: Long Fin Killie
  • Notes: This is the island's most prolific mass murderer. He's butchered hundreds of pirates while remaining a total antisocial mystery. It is generally assumed that a butcher of his means must have an alter ego somewhere. LFK has a fan club, which, just like Armadox, he regularly butchers. If ye be a pirate, ye be warned. Ye're gonna get cut up by this bastard.

How To

If you want to join the Asylum (as a loony) simply go to the in-game page and join the clan. We will add your name onto the wiki along with a reason for insanity. Please do not add your own name unto the wiki. You can indict people by messaging The Malice on the Shartak Forums, or by leaving a message on the discussion page of this article.