Discordian Cargo Cult

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Discordian Cargo Cult
In-game page
Leadership: Founded by Oulatek
Members: As long as you are not a cabbage disguised as a person
Goals: To contest the claims of clans, such as the Royal Expedition and the Discordian Cargo Cult, and create conflict.
Recruitment policy: Open membership. Add "Discordian Cargo Cult" to your profile, and list yourself on this page. It's not very hard, so just do it. Or die. Your choice.
Contact: discord@evilguru.com


Discordian Cargo Cult is an aesthetic facade of blind creativity within Shartak. It also an official game clan, open to both Native and Outsider characters. Its goals are rarely communicated to clan members on a need-to-know basis.

Clan News

Oulatek has miraculously returned from his wandering for forty days in the ocean. Those are not bed sores, they're shark bites, honest. The Goddess Herself has handed down to him... nothing at all because she's probably not too aware of what's going on around here.

......"…that very well may be… but the REAL enemies are the deforesters of the island!!!!! Therefore we are now at war with anyone who methodically embarks on a mindless deforestation!"..... (Aug-18-06, Enoch Root, channeling the voice of Eris, herself).

Oulatek further states that the Goddess doesn't know what she's talking about and shouldn't be trusted. Plus this Root character is probably just possessed by a lesser income tax demon or something.

We must clear the island of foliage, so the Great Bringers of Boxes of Stuff in the sky can see our little dances with the orange flags.

......"testing, testing, 1, 2, 3,... okay, here goes. ...To my dear fellow Discordians, something revolutionary is occurring on storybook island. A non-violence zone has been created where people from diverse clans have only today discussed the formation of the Shartak equivalent of the UN, the UC (United Clans). The little island will be a non-violence zone where all clans can meet to discuss grievances, policies, the latest coconut fashions, or whatever. However, anyone that comes to the island to kill people will be dealt with accordingly. ...please concider this...This is Eris signing out... pleasant dreams..."..... (Sept-8-06, Enoch Root, channeling Eris again).

Clearly Eris does not know what she is talking about. There is no point to Shartak except to kill each other. Besides, the UC doesn't even exist, and if it did, the Discordian Cargo Cult would surely declare war on them. In fact, I advise all Discordian Cargo Cultists to kill anyone they find on the Island. Also, kill anyone on the mainland who espouses belief in the UC, as they are clearly delusional in insisting the existence of something nonexistent. It is our duty to put them out of their misery. They will be better off in the next life... or wherever the nearest wandering shaman is. -Oulatek 21:54, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

The Roules

Storybook Island has been claimed as Discordian Cargo Cult territory; any character who ventures onto the islet is hereby advised of the Roules:

  1. Join Us or Die!
  2. We say "Mango!!!!!" instead of "Fnord!"
  3. Do not kill players unless they are in a clan we are at war with, unless you

have a moderate to mild impulse to do so.

  1. If you know the difference between "uncountably infinite" and "dense" in set theory, please tell us
  2. If at first you don't succeed, squint and look at it sideways.

The Sub-Bylaws

  1. The speed of light is constant, or at least it seems that way.
  2. We're all in it together.
  3. The Societas Eruditorum is our ally
  4. The Societas Eruditorum has always been our ally
  5. Freedom is slavery
  6. Countably based is separable is Lindeloef, assuming Shartak is metric

What's Going On

We are negotiating with the Royal Expedition to form a non-violence zone on Storybook island. You can kill whomever you want on the mainland, but not on the little island....at least that's the idea.

A Clarification

There is no such thing as mountaineers. Anyone who says otherwise must die.


If you wish to join the Discordian Cargo Cult, do so by adding "Discordian Cargo Cult" to your profile. Then add your name with a link to your profile to the list. Mango!

Members of the Discordian Cargo Cult:

Honorary Members Are Now Outlawed Any Discordian Cargo Cultist being found in possession of honor will be summarily censured!!!!!

Discordian links

The Wikipedia Definition