Channel Four News Team
| Channel Four News Team|-style="background-color: #ffffff; text-align: center;" | 
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| Leadership: | SenisterDenister | ||
| Members: | Increasing | ||
| Goals: | To crush Wes Mantooth, see him driven before us, and hear the lamentation of his women. | ||
| Recruitment policy: | We need all the Vicious Killers we can get. For your part, just click the link at the bottom. Then bring Swift and Hideous Death to evil doers!. | ||
| Contact: | |||
"Every care must be taken that our auxiliaries, being stronger than our citizens, may not grow to be too much for them and become savage beasts." -One of Ron Burgundy's many leather bound books.
"And were a civilized nation engaged with barbarians, who observed no rules even of war; the former must also suspend their observance of them, where they no longer serve any purpose; and must render every action or recounter as bloody and pernicious as possible to the first aggressors." -Another of Ron Burgundy's many leather bound books.
"Yes, I am alone. The last of the Anchormen. I said scotch damnit." -A haiku written by a slightly inebriated Tovarisch Khrushchev of the Channel 4 News Team.
The Short History of the C4NT
The Channel 4 News Team, with five-time Emmy-award winning anchor Ron Burgundy; Champ Kind, Sports; Brick Tamland, Weather; and our reporter in the field, Brian Fantana, was Shartak's number one News Team before the war. But the times, they were a-changin'.
One sunny afternoon, while on the way to the suit hut in York, the Channel 4 News Team was ambushed by Shartak's own Wes Mantooth and a number of other unsavory characters. What followed was a Glorious Battle worthy, to be sure, of Scipio, himself. There were horses, and a man on fire, and Brick killed a guy with a trident! Then, to the horror of all present, the dead man stood. Sirens sounded in the distance and the survivors scattered. Thus began the War of Shartak.
Days passed. Champ and Brian went missing, but Brick, our sweet Brick, stayed ever loyal. Then Garth noticed the three hundred very angry Shartak...ites outside of the hut. They wanted Ron's soul. Realizing our situation and fearing that Wes Mantooth would take over the island, the remaining Channel 4 News Team reporters, studio executives, and cameramen banded together and proceeded to bring Swift and Hideous Death to all that roams on the isle of Shartak.
What We Stand For
This group is for anyone who wants to have a good time waging war in the name of Glorious Battle! Some one sound the conch! The Channel Four News Team wages to war on all evil doers!
That's all well and good, but how can I join your Righteous Army?
Just click "Join Channel 4 News Team" in our clan pages profile. The Channel 4 News Team is looking for every single Vicious Killer it can get its hands on, so as to better execute Our Cunning Plan. That is to say, we need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. When this whole war thing is over, we should all get an apartment together! Well, that's neither here nor there. Anyway, Wars for Islands, it seems, make all men equal. Membership, therefore, is not restricted to anchormen (though a certain pirate hooker need not apply). Even the lowly, nameless cameraman may join us in Glorious Battle- so long as there are no commercials, there shall be no mercy.
