Congregation Tafas Shalva

Congregation Tafas Shalva|-style="background-color: #ffffff; text-align: center;"
Leadership:
Members:	All are welcome. Gentiles may join as Visitors, which is the same as Jews, but without the Moyhel.
Goals:	Kibitz, Tummel, Kvetch, maybe take a Schvitz.
Recruitment policy:	Actual conversion is a fairly long process, but visitors are always welcome!
Contact:	Post on the comments page to say hello, or just drop by the synagogue.

Brukhim Haboim!

Welcome! Congregation Tafas Shalva is the first synagogue on the island of Shartak. It is a quiet place in the tzimmes that York has become. So, forget about the riots, wars and headhunters. Come visit us, enjoy a nice cup of tea with the rabbi and take a break.

Location! Location! Location!

The synagogue is located at coordinates:[-70.369,+26.311], in downtown York, just steps from the Trader. The beautiful white sand beaches of York Bay are right outside our front door. Yes, we validate parking.

Synagogue Etiquette

Mainly, just behave in a civil, polite manner, and we'll all get along. No matter how raucous a town is, everyone needs a place to relax, rest and recharge once in a while. Tafas Shalva is an oasis of calm right in riotous downtown York. Let's work together to keep it that way.

• Guys, please cover your head in sanctuary, don't worry about it in the sitting room.
• No violence, please! And if you witness violence, just ignore it. We don't want everyone blind and toothless.
• Polite discourse is the norm. Rude or insufferable visitors will be asked to leave.
• Polite discourse is the norm. Rude or insufferable members will be asked to join the board.
• Hadassah has a bake sale every Sunday. Baking on a tropical island is a bit difficult, though. So, if the babka is like a brick, just choke it down, for G-d's sake. It would kill you to make an old lady with bad bread feel good?
• Matchingmaking is considered poor form only if a prospective match is dead or already married. (Unless it's to my son-in-law. The little mamzer drives me crazy!)

Facilities

• Banquet hall, available to rent. Food prepared by the sisterhood.
• Classrooms, all of which smell like stale horseradish and old crayons.
• Lounge, soft cushy sofas, dark wood and lots of tea and rugelach. Air conditioned.
• Sanctuary, with high ceilings, good acoustics and exactly half the number of prayer books we need. All of them in that other pew. The sound system makes all speakers sound like they at the bottom of a fuzzy well.