Project IVoS

Project IVoS?

What is this?

Project IVoS is an aggregator for columns, some short stories, and pretty much anything that's extracurricular to Shartak. In May 2008, Javier Sortani decided that the forums weren't enough drama for him, so he decided to contact a few people about writing columns for something that he called Project IVoS-the Independent Voice of Shartak. IVoS is a drama lightning rod. It's a way for a lot of people to be remembered after they're gone. It's just starting off right now, but hopefully some day it'll be big and it'll be beautiful and it'll be unforgettable.

This is awesome! How can I get involved?

Glad you asked! It's very simple. Send us a column as an example of the sort that you'd write. If it's worth posting-and almost anything that's reasonably coherent and well written is-we'll put it up in the one-shots section.

If you want to post anything after that, either send it to us along with a snappy title for your series of columns, or just edit it into the Wiki page yourself. Basically, one column gets you put with all of the other people who've only written one column; two columns gets you a snappy title. I don't think it's a hard decision.

Pacifist on the Warpath by Javier Sortani

In Memoriam

I miss Kjendlie.

Now, say what you will. Inflexible? Always. Xenophobic? Yeah. Irrational? Usually. Mildly deranged? More often than not. But, as I’ve thought about this, he actually became one of the greatest forces for good on all of Shartak.

Let’s look at this. From a personal standpoint, he brought me, a lonely wandering pirate, into politics, and I owe him one for that. Heck, I wouldn’t be writing this column if not for him.

Of more general interest, he’s really half the reason the York Coalition was established. After all, if not for his insane hatred for Bauer and, well, general insanity, Nighter and Broderick would never have left the Colonial Police in disgust, and the CCTU might not have disbanded. There would have been no need for the York Coalition; everybody would’ve gotten along fine in the first place, but probably would’ve stayed a bit on the ineffective side, like we were in the Fourth Invasion. Instead, we have the York Coalition, which is probably the most successful and veteran groups of Shartakian soldiers. Let’s look at the list: the Coalition has (with allies) repelled a pirate invasion, taken Midway, and proportionately given pretty much as good as it got in the Dork Cup.

It’s a little-known fact that when the Coalition was founded, Kjendlie was supposed to be one of the four executive members. But, great guy that he is, he decided to stay out of it and leave the politics to the competent.

Also, Hospitallers recruiting has never been so good as during the death throes of Kjendlie’s reign. Norris, Broderick, and I all became Hospitallers members in the midst of Kjendlie’s burgeoning madness.

Back to the Coalition for a moment. My live-and-let-live style of politics hadn’t usually played well in York; advocating that the Malice or Endzone be given a green card, as it were, got me shot down immediately as a weak trusting pacifist or an anti-York activist. However, after the fall of Kjendlie’s Colonial Police, most of the Coalition was so sick of the era of McKjendlieism that things played out precisely how I wanted them to.

He also contributed to Shartak culture; for example, thanks to him, the word “Soral” is now synonymous in the Shartak edition of Merriam-Webster with “traitor.” Additionally, that fine establishment, the Waugh Arms, formed more than anything else to annoy him. Two more pieces of Shartak history, both attributable to Kjendlie.

Let’s not let the man’s glory obscure the bad parts of his era. He was a pathologically illogical madman who managed to make the Malice’s brand of obnoxious jokesterism look good by comparison. He alienated every one of his closest allies; he even managed to alienate Sammo. He supported Nathan Hale. (These days, does anyone not laugh when that name is mentioned? Anyone? I thought not.)

I believe that Kjendlie is in a better place now. He’s off in some perfect York, where the Mercenary’s Guild never was and the First Imperial Privateers are laughable. Well, more laughable. But in any case, I hope that, some day, he’ll come back to say hello and do something absurd.

Really. Could ya, buddy? Hospitaller recruiting hasn’t been so hot lately.

Play Nice, Kids

If I were writing this about any other two people, I wouldn’t be writing this at all. It would just be another little personal squabble in some remote corner of Shartak. Unfortunately, this has come in the middle of a tense situation, between noteworthy public figures, and its implications could be serious for the rest of the island.

Like many of you, I’m beginning to get the impression that Serious Sam and the Malice don’t like each other.

For those of you who don’t know who these two are, well, what rock, precisely, have you been hiding under? Sam is the founder and leader of the Colonial Militia, and the island’s most notorious hardliner. The Malice was a flagship member of the Mercenaries’ Guild, and if he wasn’t quite public enemy number one in York, he was up there. Are we beginning to see where an issue might arise?

Let’s fast forward a bit. The Mercenaries’ Guild collapses shortly before the Dork Cup. Malice joins the Pistoleers. The Pistoleers pledge their aid to York in the Dork Cup. Malice starts to trek over to York, with the stated purpose of helping the Coalition (at that time still including the Militia) defend York. He asks the Coalition first if we’ll repeal his kill on sight status. We do.

And then Lukas Alexander, Militia member, kills Malice. Shouting, eye-rolling, theatrics, and such ensue. Sam defends Lukas because the kill was for “personal reasons.” Long story short, the Militia withdraws from the Coalition.

Let’s fast forward again. The Durham situation. Malice revives the Pistoleers. Sam declares he’s going over to support the Pistoleers. Now, this is a bit of a surprise. Sam doesn’t like the Pistoleers. He put up a sign in his yard for Nathan Hale back in the day. But apparently he likes a hostile takeover by Raktam even less.

Sam, en route to Durham, gets killed by Malice.

And things get hostile again. Sam, proving himself the better man as usual, declares each and every Pistoleer kill on sight. Now, at present, it’s not an issue, because heck, there are no Pistoleers any more to kill on sight, but still, it's an absurd move. If Sam's right and Malice is a troublemaker, then the Pistoleers shouldn't be responsible; and if all the Pistoleers are troublemakers, why was he defending them in the first place?

With that in mind, I’d like to end this little history lesson with a shoutout to each of the players involved.

Sam: look, we all know that you were going to rip Malice a new one as soon as you saw him. Don’t act like it was completely unexpected. You’re just mad he got to you before you got to him. Besides, if Lukas’s killing Malice was okay because it was for “personal reasons,” why should Malice’s killing you be any different? It really looks like you were looking for an excuse here, and personally I’m just sad that Malice gave it to you.

Malice: what were you thinking? If Sam went for you first, you’d be the victim. By getting him before he got you, you’re playing right into his hands. Honestly. Did forethought even cross your mind? You never kill Sam if he doesn’t kill you first. You know that. He and his boys in the Militia will declare you, your allies, and your dear Auntie Em kill on sight. And your little dog too.

I wrote this article some time ago. But recently, some people decided to make it relevant for me again.

I speak, of course, of the killing of the Militia at Creedy.

Now, maybe they were there to take over. Maybe they were there to protect the place.

But now? They're the victims, and they're angry. They're back on the attack.

Please, people. Think before you machete.

Thanks for your attention, readers. Now go back to the senseless killing and impotent power politics. More material is never a bad thing.

One-Shots

COMING SOON

The Project IVoS Team

• Javier Sortani - Pacifist on the Warpath/Editor
• Lukas Alexander - Memoirs of a Commissar