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| − | ===Play Nice, Kids===
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| − | If I were writing this about any other two people, I wouldn’t be writing this at all. It would just be another little personal squabble in some remote corner of Shartak. Unfortunately, this has come in the middle of a tense situation, between noteworthy public figures, and its implications could be serious for the rest of the island.
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| − | Like many of you, I’m beginning to get the impression that Serious Sam and the Malice don’t like each other.
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| − | For those of you who don’t know who these two are, well, what rock, precisely, have you been hiding under? Sam is the founder and leader of the Colonial Militia, and the island’s most notorious hardliner. The Malice was a flagship member of the Mercenaries’ Guild, and if he wasn’t quite public enemy number one in York, he was up there. Are we beginning to see where an issue might arise?
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| − | Let’s fast forward a bit. The Mercenaries’ Guild collapses shortly before the Dork Cup. Malice joins the Pistoleers. The Pistoleers pledge their aid to York in the Dork Cup. Malice starts to trek over to York, with the stated purpose of helping the Coalition (at that time still including the Militia) defend York. He asks the Coalition first if we’ll repeal his kill on sight status. We do.
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| − | And then Lukas Alexander, Militia member, kills Malice. Shouting, eye-rolling, theatrics, and such ensue. Sam defends Lukas because the kill was for “personal reasons.” Long story short, the Militia withdraws from the Coalition.
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| − | Let’s fast forward again. The Durham situation. Malice revives the Pistoleers. Sam declares he’s going over to support the Pistoleers. Now, this is a bit of a surprise. Sam doesn’t like the Pistoleers. He put up a sign in his yard for Nathan Hale back in the day. But apparently he likes a hostile takeover by Raktam even less.
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| − | Sam, en route to Durham, gets killed by Malice.
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| − | And things get hostile again. Sam, proving himself the better man as usual, declares each and every Pistoleer kill on sight. Now, at present, it’s not an issue, because heck, there are no Pistoleers any more to kill on sight, but still, it's an absurd move. If Sam's right and Malice is a troublemaker, then the Pistoleers shouldn't be responsible; and if all the Pistoleers are troublemakers, why was he defending them in the first place?
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| − | With that in mind, I’d like to end this little history lesson with a shoutout to each of the players involved.
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| − | Sam: look, we all know that you were going to rip Malice a new one as soon as you saw him. Don’t act like it was completely unexpected. You’re just mad he got to you before you got to him. Besides, if Lukas’s killing Malice was okay because it was for “personal reasons,” why should Malice’s killing you be any different? It really looks like you were looking for an excuse here, and personally I’m just sad that Malice gave it to you.
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| − | Malice: what were you thinking? If Sam went for you first, you’d be the victim. By getting him before he got you, you’re playing right into his hands. Honestly. Did forethought even cross your mind? You never kill Sam if he doesn’t kill you first. You know that. He and his boys in the Militia will declare you, your allies, and your dear Auntie Em kill on sight. And your little dog too.
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| − | I wrote this article some time ago. But recently, some people decided to make it relevant for me again.
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| − | I speak, of course, of the killing of the Militia at Creedy.
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| − | Now, maybe they were there to take over. Maybe they were there to protect the place.
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| − | But now? They're the victims, and they're angry. They're back on the attack.
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| − | Please, people. Think before you machete.
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| − | Thanks for your attention, readers. Now go back to the senseless killing and impotent power politics. More material is never a bad thing.
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| − | -Javier Sortani
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