Difference between revisions of "The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet"

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{{Clanbox|
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{{clanbox_test|
 
clan_name=The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet|
 
clan_name=The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet|
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official_id=10|
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open_to=everyone|
 
clan_image=[[Image:Newpiratetee.jpg|300px]]|
 
clan_image=[[Image:Newpiratetee.jpg|300px]]|
 
clan_abbrev=SCHBS|
 
clan_abbrev=SCHBS|
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clan_recruit=ARRR!! All crew positions be determined by first-come first-serve or no rules cage death match. Ye must be a pirate or pirate sympathizer. If ye wish to name your own rank ye have liberty to add it to the ship's manifest. |
 
clan_recruit=ARRR!! All crew positions be determined by first-come first-serve or no rules cage death match. Ye must be a pirate or pirate sympathizer. If ye wish to name your own rank ye have liberty to add it to the ship's manifest. |
 
clan_contact=E-mail aehrig@hamilton.edu to be added to the manifest. |
 
clan_contact=E-mail aehrig@hamilton.edu to be added to the manifest. |
 +
sort_as=Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet, The|
 
}}
 
}}
  
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=HAR,HAHARHHARHAAAHRRR!!!!=
 
  
−
Pull up your pants and throw out your empty rum bottles because '''shore leave is over!!!''' The Captain has decided that [http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/Wiksik Wicksick] will be the location of the Scurvy Crew of the Hell-Born Strumpet's second raid!!!! The Captain has already slain two of the local defenders and is shocked to learn that they have no fear of pirates. This be not a fault of theirs. It be the mistake of all pirates, that we have not shown them all the fun they're missing in their wretched existences as rumless natives. They even committed a sin to piratedom and referred to Captain Whitney as an Outsider, and not as a grog-chugging, mermaid-coveting, pirate. They are obviously unaware of the depths of drunken cruelty that distinguishes Pirates from Outsiders.
+
=[http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/The_Secret_History_of_Captain_Tyler_Whitney The Secret History of Captain Tyler Whitney]=
  
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The Captain has decided that come '''July 12th''' the Scurvy Crew will educate them in murder and inebriated property destruction. All crewmembers be hereby given notice to gather in the jungle outside of Wicksick in anticipation of our July 12th pillaging. Sharpen your cutlasses and fill up your rum flasks because there's more than enough murdering for any pirate!!!!  
+
It was during a partial lunar eclipse several months ago that the Captain entered one of his "fits" of stumbling delerium. Most likely brought on by a batch of particularly foul York-town rum. And as any resident of Shartak knows, the only rum worth drinking is either Derbyman Blue or the Shipwreck's own Wild Strumpet 301 Proof Rum. A chemical and mathematical paradox of deliciousness! It was in this period, while the Captain was wandering the jungle, shouting at ferns and drinking elephant milk, that the long neglected ship's log of the Hell-Born Stumpet was found in the Large Cabin. This log will know doubt become an invaluable resource for all residents of the island in decyphering the Crew's bizarre origins and motives. The first installment to be taken out of the water in the Cabin, transcribed, and reproduced here is a record of the Captain's life before the Strumpet wrecked on Shartak.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
=A Gentleman's Wager=
 +
 
 +
It appears that recently a member of the Scurvy Crew has had a beef and has started hunting a member of the Jolly Roger Gang. Rather than let this encourage more violence between the crews the Captains have decided to let them settle it between themselves. The recent decision to start placing bets on who wins and the possible profits of such had absolutely nothing to do with the Captains' judgement in this case.
 +
 
 +
That being said, '''PLACE YOUR BETS! PLACE YOUR BETS RIGHT HEAH!!!'''
 +
 
 +
*Captain Michael Edwards: 7 on the Roger boy to win
 +
*Captain Tyler Whitney: 5 gold on Mr. Xintlaer to win, with a side bet of six gold that he gets lucky and lands two 5-damage swings of the cutlass in the process.
 +
*Captain Dan wages '''30 golden coins''' on Xintlaer to beat this here Roger boy! Note, this be a private bet. Anyone wish to risk 30 coins on that Zom-VLD will beat our boy?
 +
*Rozen, JRG's PKer slayer, wagers 5 on Zom, with a side bet of 5, on the fight ending with the winner (whoever it be) on lower than 15 HP.
 +
*Zom-VLD, JRG's treasurer - 30 gold to whoever wins (challenge bet)
 +
*Xintlaer, Strumpet's boatswain - 30 to the winner too.
 +
*Master Dan jun Perls: Me thinks the mate called Xintlaer has better odds. 50 gold coins on Xintlaer.
 +
As it appears Mr. Xintlaer and the Jolly Roger's treasurer are the offending parties they are encouraged to approach the beach adjacent to the shipwreck on Friday (exact time to be determined) when the match will begin.
 +
 
 +
'''The Gentleman's wager (while a most excellent plan in theory) collapsed in practice as nearby ghosts harrassed fighters, gamblers, and spectators alike. After several tries, a change in venue, and postponments the endeavor was abandoned. Perhaps to be attempted again at a later date.'''
 +
 
 +
 
 +
=Vendetta!=
 +
 
 +
Over the past few months the Scurvy Crew and other Pirates have become increasingly aware of Outsiders directing violence at their Pirate cousins.
 +
 
 +
[[ image:Tableau-barbenoire.jpg ]]
 +
 
 +
(Unidentified members of the Scurvy Crew and Anti-Pirates engage in battle at the Hell-born Strumpet's Wreck).
 +
 
 +
For some reason nearly all the clans that have made slaying Pirates their mandate are based out of York. To determine the actual situation the Captain went on a goodwill tour to the Yorkmen's camp. Believing that it was bad manners for a visitor to arrive at a neighbor's empty-handed Captain Whitney brought a bag filled 43 bottles of rum (one for every member of the Crew), and several cutlasses with which to impress the locals. By the time he arrived in York only half a bottle of rum was left, and this was soon thrown at a nearby wild boar. After announcing his presence and intentions at the local Colonial Police station the Captain decided to hit the town. There he saw a pub and several huts in which Outsiders and Natives cohabited peacefully and in which Captain Whitney was welcomed with opened arms and bottles. Such civility between Outsiders and Natives seemed unnatural to the Captain, but he was determined not to offend his hosts, especially while they were picking up this round.
 +
 
 +
It was during his second night of carousing with the locals that the Captain was assaulted by his first Anti-Pirate. It was one of the same Yorkmen who had been harrassing the Strumpet's Wreck and any other pirates they happened across.
 +
 
 +
With what he now knew about the population of York, and its Anti-Pirate minority the Captain is convinced that a declaration of Vendetta is in order. The Captain declares Vendetta as approved murdering of one or more clans rather than the indiscriminate targeting of a village as in a Raid. While individual members of these clans have whispered their belief that their machetes might abstain from Scurvy Crew blood (due to the Crew's general policy of non-violence towards other Outsiders) their actions speak differently. The Scurvy Crew cannot also stand by while other Pirates are slain simply for loving rum and brawling more than the island's more timid elements. The Crew be hereby ordered to sink their daggers and cutlasses into members of the following clans wherever they be found:
 +
 
 +
*[http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/The_Pirate_Hunters The Pirate Hunters]: Goes without saying...
 +
*[http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/York_Pirate_Slayers York Pirate Slayers]: Same as above...
 +
*[http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/Order_of_Patriots The Order of Patriots]: It at first appeared the Order's mandate be only the defense of citizens of York and not indiscriminate pirate-hunting. This led the Captain to propose Parley with the Order. The Captain's offer of Parley [http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/Talk:Order_of_Patriots#PARLEY.21.21 was soundly rejected] and they have made it clear through their words and actions that their goal is the complete obliteration of Pirates from the island. They should be considered as no better than the rumless Natives...
 +
 
 +
A member of one of the clans mentioned above recently approached the Captain in York and asked for a temporary ceasefire. It seems someone has contracted the Mercenary's Guild to attack the same clans the Scurvy Crew has now declared Vendetta against. This was done before the start of the Captain's goodwill tour of the Yorkmen's camp.
 +
 
 +
The Captain sees no reason to declare a ceasefire. Why should we, your targets since your clans' inception be moved to restraint now when you have demonstrated none towards us in the past? Are Pirates supposed to pity you now that you are seeing the result of your months of indiscriminate violence towards us? Why should we sheath our cutlasses and wait for your machetes to be sunk into our backs at your convenience? No, many strange and evil things dwell in the hearts of pirates, but mercy isn't one of them.
 +
 
 +
=New Tortuga Has Been Achieved=
 +
 
 +
'''At the conclusion of negotiations with various other outsider groups the island that the Scurvy Crew calls New Tortuga has been declared a nonaggression zone. The Captain protected the Scurvy Crew's right to behave like violent, drunken villians throughout the lengthy parley. This natural right has been reinforced (so long as no outsiders are harmed on the island or within its shallow waters). What follows below is the original account of the Captain's spiritual awakening and call to New Tortuga:'''
 +
 
 +
The Wiksik Raid was hard fighting, no denying that. Those members of the crew who braved the jungle, ill-educated anti-pirate outsiders, native beasts, and savage natives, found themselves several days travel away from their home shaman. The glory and rum won by our cutlasses was that much sweeter with the struggle.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
[[ image:42699438_5b6c0cc023.jpg ]]
 +
 
 +
(Derbymen, unaligned Pirates, and members of The Scurvy Crew battle through the island's natives to assault the shaman of Wiksik.)
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Many Pirates and Outsiders died in the Wicksick raid. The Captain himself greeted his pirate brethren in the afterlife. It was in this shadow realm that the Captain witnessed the Giant Bottle of Rum.
 +
 
 +
"Behold your better," said the Bottle of Rum, "And Despair..."
 +
 
 +
And the Captain of The Scurvy Crew beheld the Giant Bottle of Rum. "Truly I both love and fear you O' Giant Bottle of Rum, but what of my Pirate brothers and sisters? We have been scattered across the island" he said. "We are hunted for our heads by rumless savages. Where can we go to celebrate our bloody plunder and drain the island of rum?"
 +
 
 +
And yay the Giant Bottle of Rum looked upon the Scurvy Crew in their toils in Wiksik and said, "Know that I have created an island for ye who hunger, and thirst for drunkeness, and it is not the island you stand on. It is the island west of Shartak, and as ye pirates (the beloved children of the Giant Bottle of Rum) love inebriation, so shall you find rum on this island. And it shall be named [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortuga "New Tortuga"].
 +
 
 +
And the Captain understood The Giant Bottle of Rum, and knew its purpose for the Scurvy Crew. All Crewmembers be hereby ordered to flood the large, horizontal island west of the greater island of Shartak. This island, south of the Strumpet's wreck and west of the Native village of Dalpok, shall be known as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortuga "New Tortuga"]. New Tortuga shall henceforth be known as a private gaming preserve for outsiders in general, but pirates especially, and especially The Scurvy Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet.
 +
 
 +
=Bloody Dalpok!=
 +
 
 +
It was in the midst of a late afternoon apertif of 3 liters of Derby Rum that a sharpening stone was dropped in the Captain's lap by a particularly ugly monkey.
 +
 
 +
"Goddamit Monkey!" the Captain said. "That's the fifth time ye interrupted my pouring!"
 +
 
 +
The Captain then proceeded to waste three days of his life hunting the particularly ugly monkey through jungle, ruins, and shipwreck. He finally cornered it in the Strumpet's Crow's Nest (that sounds a bit racy doesn't it? Nevermind!). After the long pursuit, and being a bit peckish, the Captain ate the monkey.
 +
 
 +
[[ Image:Monkey2.jpg ]]
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Sources believe this to be the monkey in its natural habitat, and before the Captain ate it.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
It was only when he got to the tail that he noticed a missive tied to it with a green ribbon. Picking his teeth with a monkey rib the Captain sat down to read the message with an after-supper pint of rum. It read:
 +
 
 +
"Ahoy Captain! My Gang of pirates has planned a raid on dalpok. We have a large deal of pirates marching on Dalpok next week,I would like to invite any of your crew members who might be around to partake in the pillage.--Michael edwards 00:17, 31 August 2006 (UTC)"
 +
 
 +
"Four Cannon's A-Blazing!" exclaimed the Captain with what he believed to be a pirate expression (it was not, in fact no pirate until him had '''ever''' said those words). "There are other pirates on the island besides my beloved Scurvy Crew?" The Captain then sat down and spent the rest of the day drinking and thinking about the implications of this discovery.
 +
 
 +
The Captain awoke the next morning to hear a ghost whispering in his ear. Shooting up ramrod straight the Captain climbed up Crow's Nest once more, and pulled from his pocket a whistle made of Native bones. Taking a deep breath the Captain then blew on the whistle, but no sound was heard. In fact, the dozens of pirates around the Strumpet's wreck (who the Captain had been too drunk or insane to notice until a day ago) were completely oblivious to the tiny figure at the top of the Crow's Nest, playing a whistle with all his formidable might. But across Shartak, in jungles and mountains, villages and grasslands, buried in swamps and floating in water, specially trained sets of ears heard a faint ringing.
 +
 
 +
"My Beloved Scruvy Crew of the Hell-Born Strumpet!" bellowed Captain Tyler Whitney from the Crow's Nest, "Blood's being spilled in a Native Village and we're not the cause of it! All crewmembers be ordered to join our pirate brothers in flooding the dirt paths of Dalpok with blood! BYOB!"
 +
 
 +
 
 +
== The Royal Expedition ==
 +
 
 +
Mr Dan here. I cannot stop ye or order ye to do anything, but for Christ Sake, PLEASE DON'T ATTACK ANY ROYAL EXPEDITION MEMBERS!!! I've spent a fair while negotiating with them not to attack us. We do not need a war. For more details, look at their talk page. '''Captain Dan'''
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Well, I don't know why, but I just got killed by mister Jones Dye, a member of the Royal Expedition --[[User:Xintlaer|Xintlaer]] 17:23, 25 August 2006 (UTC)
 +
 
 +
Ah hell with it. I can't negotiate. Kill em if you want. I wish you would have put a word in this Captain. '''Captain Dan'''
 +
 
 +
that bastard jones dye just killed me too! he's on new tortuga! someone kill him--[[User:Badhammer|Badhammer]] 14:51, 3 September 2006 (UTC)
 +
 
 +
Parley has been resumed with York and the Royal Expedition. If no appropriate reply is sent ye have liberty to pursue your vengance without fear of censure from your crew.
  
 
== Current goals be: ==
 
== Current goals be: ==
  
−
*'''ANNIHILATE THE RUMLESS, ELEPHANT-WORSHIPING NATIVES OF WICKSICK'''
 
 
*Crew the ship: The Hell-born Strumpet (the bonniest ship in whatever ocean the island's in)
 
*Crew the ship: The Hell-born Strumpet (the bonniest ship in whatever ocean the island's in)
 
*Terrorize the locals
 
*Terrorize the locals
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*If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement he shall have 400 pieces of Eight; if a limb 800.  
 
*If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement he shall have 400 pieces of Eight; if a limb 800.  
 
*If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.
 
*If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.
 +
 +
= The Scurvy Crew is Legion =
 +
YAHRR! We be the first clan on the island to break '''40''' members!! The Captain decrees an extra pint of grog to all members in celebration.
 +
 +
[[ Image:On beach.jpg ]]
  
 
==Now accepting crew for the positions of: ==
 
==Now accepting crew for the positions of: ==
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*The Captain: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=242 Tyler Whitney]  
 
*The Captain: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=242 Tyler Whitney]  
  
−
When the crew left for the Dalpok raid they were tied with tea-swilling monarchists for dominance of the island. In as little as two weeks the ranks have swelled to DOUBLE what they were when we left. The Captain be pleased to see so many lime-eating parrot perches have returned to the crew.  
+
Welcome aboard Mr. Cutthroat and Mr. Xenor!!
  
−
With Shore Leave over all crewmembers be advised to report to the jungle outside Wicksick. We be forgoing the naming of a particular spot to rally our band of brigands as there's no mecca of piratedom like the Shipwreck outside Wicksick. Just blend into the jungle and hopefully the stench of rum, gold, and blood won't give you away to the parrot-eaters before the ultra-violence on the 12th.  
+
The Captain's offer of Parley to the Order of Patriots was soundly denied. The Scurvy Crew is now free to hunt them and the Pirate Hunters wherever they are found. Special care must be taken that innocent outsiders are not also slain so all crewmembers are advised to check their prey's profile before they strike.
−
 
 
−
The Captain's will be that any crewmembers still lingering around the wreck should announce the coming raid by writing it in the sand and placing signs for all to see. Inquirers should be directed to this wiki or simply told to go to Wiksik with rum on their breath and murder in their hearts...  
 
  
 
*First Mate: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=153 Johnny Bollocks] Last one to get drunk and laid will feel the lick o' the cat!
 
*First Mate: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=153 Johnny Bollocks] Last one to get drunk and laid will feel the lick o' the cat!
−
*Sailing Master: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=897 Rob Cath] Eye, it's good fun raiding the natives. Got 5 kills so far. Going back for the shaman. Who's with me eh???
+
*Sailing Master: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=897 Rob Cath] What's all this then!?!?!?!
 
*Master's Mate:  [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1540 Teach]
 
*Master's Mate:  [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1540 Teach]
−
*Ship's Surgeon: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2039 Captain Dan] HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! HERE I COME, WIKSIKS!!!!!!!!
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*Ship's Surgeon: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2039 Captain Dan] I BE BACK LADS!!! SO PUT DOWN THE RUM AND START A FIGHTING!!!
 
*Surgeon's Mate: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2336 Rob Da Blades]
 
*Surgeon's Mate: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2336 Rob Da Blades]
 
*Boatswain: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=177 Xintlaer] They shall feel my blade deep between their ribs...  
 
*Boatswain: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=177 Xintlaer] They shall feel my blade deep between their ribs...  
−
*Gunner: [[User:Wifey#Wifey|Wifey]] Yargh!
+
*Gunner: [[User:Wifey#Wifey|Wifey]] Yargh! Wifey's active again, lads!
 
*Gunner's Mate: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2691 Wolverine] This bein' before the whole Weapon X thing o' course.
 
*Gunner's Mate: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2691 Wolverine] This bein' before the whole Weapon X thing o' course.
 
*Cartographer: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=592 Baron Von Roeboat]
 
*Cartographer: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=592 Baron Von Roeboat]
−
*Quartermaster:  
+
*Quartermaster: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1337 badhammer]
 
*Carpenter: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2073 Dian Cecht]
 
*Carpenter: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2073 Dian Cecht]
 
*Carpenter's Mate:
 
*Carpenter's Mate:
 
*Steward:
 
*Steward:
 
*Cook: Pieman
 
*Cook: Pieman
 +
*Sailing Instructer: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=4868 Captain Barbossa]
 
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hunting_of_the_Snark Billiard-marker]: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1987 Tycho "Yarr" Everett]
 
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hunting_of_the_Snark Billiard-marker]: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1987 Tycho "Yarr" Everett]
 
*Cabin Boy:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2305 born to kill]
 
*Cabin Boy:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2305 born to kill]
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*Rum Runners: [http://www.shartak.com//profile.cgi?id=2542 Opium Joe]
 
*Rum Runners: [http://www.shartak.com//profile.cgi?id=2542 Opium Joe]
 
*Ship's Monkey: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2054 Dr Capitalism](The monkey was attacked by natives... time to go pillage a village.)
 
*Ship's Monkey: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2054 Dr Capitalism](The monkey was attacked by natives... time to go pillage a village.)
−
*Monkey's Mate:
+
*Monkey's Mate: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=4747 oneguynamedjosh]
 
*Our preserved Native head: Shrubar, shaman of Dalpok
 
*Our preserved Native head: Shrubar, shaman of Dalpok
 
*and Able Bodied Seamen:
 
*and Able Bodied Seamen:
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:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2525 Anne Bonny]
 
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2525 Anne Bonny]
 
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2377 Axelius]
 
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=2377 Axelius]
−
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=3171 b4ll54ck kill3r]
 
 
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=3347 Jim Davey Jones]
 
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=3347 Jim Davey Jones]
−
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1337 badhammer]
 
 
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=4070 Karrak the Drunk]
 
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=4070 Karrak the Drunk]
 +
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=3006 Xenor]
 +
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=4677 Cutthroat]
 +
:[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1809 Jimbo Cooke]
 
*Marines(Outsider Soldiers):
 
*Marines(Outsider Soldiers):
−
*Drunk, One-Eyed, No-Thumbed Swordsmith Who's Responsible for Every Poorly made Cutlass on the Island:
+
[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=276 Gunga Din]
 +
*Drunk, One-Eyed, No-Thumbed Swordsmith Who's Responsible for Every Poorly made Cutlass on the Island: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=6532 FaggishFred]
 +
*Gold Biter & Rum Tester [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1556 Arr Matee]
 +
*Native Guild & Resident Cannibal: [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=17633 Killer Lobster]
  
 
== Pirates be expert cartographers ==
 
== Pirates be expert cartographers ==
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Thanks go to Dr J for his spelunking.
 
Thanks go to Dr J for his spelunking.
  
−
== The Case of Mr. Badhammer ==
+
== Mr. Badhammer! ==
−
 
 
−
Stoertebecker says "Tyler Whitney. You are the respected leader of a good clan, but yet you host a zerger using the names 'Badhammer' withing your ranks. Continue to do so and none of your deeds will get any recognition." (2006-06-15 14:01)
 
−
Stoertebecker says "http://shartak.forumsplace.com/message176.html" (2006-06-15 14:02)
 
−
Stoertebecker says "Correct your clan before others have to do it." (2006-06-15 14:02)
 
−
 
 
−
The Captain does not generally respond favorably to threats, and questions any foreign influence's authority to punish a member of the crew. Still, he is appreciative that the multiple character abuse of Mr. Badhammer has been brought to light, evidence has been provided, and the Crew has been given an opportunity to address the matter themselves before any other action is taken. If one were to recall all previous announcements of the clan at no time was zerging promoted or encouraged. Captain Whitney would normally decide that this was a personal offense to be corrected by the parties assaulted by the zerg, but since it was done during an official raid of The Scurvy Crew putative measures shall be taken.
 
−
 
 
−
== MR. BADHAMMER!! ==
 
  
−
You are hereby stripped of your rank as Quartermaster until such time as you can demonstrate the removal of the zerg and after a reasonable period of good conduct. You are henceforth demoted to the rank of Able Bodied Seaman. You are also commanded to report to the deck of the Strumpet by Saturday morning to be flogged, 50 lashes with the cutlass. If you do not report to the deck any member of the Crew has liberty to kill Mr. Badhammer once, but only once. If one examines him and discovers that another member of the crew has already punished him he is to remain unharmed. In any case it is recomended that Mr. Badhammer report to the Strumpet for his lashes to preserve his own, and The Scurvy Crew's, reputation and honor. After which this matter shall be considered concluded and Mr. Badhammer will be free to rejoin the crew and resume his duties of drinking, plundering, and murder. Any further retaliation against Mr. Badhammer by any agent shall be considered an offense against the Scurvy Crew as a whole. If Mr. Badhammer continues his zerging he shall be expelled from the Scurvy Crew in disgrace.
+
The Case of Mr. Badhammer has been moved to the discussion page in lieu of a dedicated history page to come later (once there's enough history to justify its existence). Any who wish to read about the first application of nautical justice in the island's history may find it there.
  
−
It is the Captain's wish that this matter set precedent for the punishment of any similar offences. Evidence must be provided, and the Crew given opportunity to administer their own discipline.
+
Your unknowingly disgraceful conduct embarrased the crew in the past (if it is indeed possible to disgrace persons such as we). You have, however, performed your duties admirably these past few months, and remained steadfastly loyal to the crew even during your demotion to Able Bodied Seaman. Your continued service to the crew in these conditions points to the high quality of your character. In light of your lengthy service, and the good conduct that was named as a necessity for your continued presence among the crew, your case is hereby dismissed. Ye be now reinstated to your former position as Quartermaster of the Scurvy Crew of the Hell-Born Strumpet. Congratulations, Quartermaster Badhammer! The crew lifts its flagons to you. You can drink at my table anytime. YAAHRRGH!! [[User:Tyler Whitney|Tyler Whitney]] 04:37, 14 October 2006 (UTC)
  
−
Mr. Cath, the Sailing Master, has informed the Captain that Mr. Badhammer reported to the deck of the Strumpet and has taken his lashes. With this offense now punished the case of Mr. Badhammer shall be considered closed. If any member of the crew sees fit to give Mr. Badhammer a pint of rum to ease his suffering the Captain will look the other way...
 
−
 
−
I, Badhammer, of th' hell born strumpet, 'ave taken m' lashes. then i got good n drunk on rum t' f'rget that i had let down m' cap'n. at some point in th' night, i b'lieve th' 12th bottle o' rum, i cut off m' left hand and threw it to Mr. Cath an' offered him a hand whenever 'e needs one. i drank some more rum, asked for a cirgeon an' passed out a bloody drunken wreck of a pirate. i woke th' next day, to have found squidgey, th' killer, had hit me for 3 damage and informed me that i now had a rusty meathook for my left hand. th' next day captain dan, fixed me up wit' a real surg-ery. OI! he even gave m' different attachment fer m' hand. a cutlass, a hook, a harpoon, a knuckle duster. I have paid fer m' crime. An' m' crew will not be let down, i will kill more natives in the wiksik raid than any of you. even if i have to stay there for a month, oh yes, there will be blood. when the raid is over, i will talk wit' th' cap'n about getting my job back as quartermaster.--[[User:Badhammer|Badhammer]] 13:39, 7 July 2006 (UTC)
 
  
 
== As the man said: ==
 
== As the man said: ==
Line 116: Line 215:
  
 
[[ Image:Flynn.jpg ]]
 
[[ Image:Flynn.jpg ]]
−
 
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[[Category:Clans]]
 
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[[Category:Clans for everyone]]
 
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[[Category:Officially recognized clans]]
 
  
 
== Native Guide ==
 
== Native Guide ==
Line 125: Line 220:
 
The Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet are looking for a native guide not only to translate and inform the crew of any hidden island booty, but also to be mocked and paid in small pox.
 
The Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet are looking for a native guide not only to translate and inform the crew of any hidden island booty, but also to be mocked and paid in small pox.
  
−
== Total Natives Killed in the First Dalpok Raid: ==
 
−
 
−
*46 (This be only the official count given by those who posted their exploits here. Several crewmembers may have cut swaths through the Dalpokers, yet abstained from announcing themselves because they did not know they could, or abstained from boasting for other, more mysterious reasons. Many, many more natives tasted cold steel, yet escaped death due to the crew's fatigue or their cutlasses' notoriously shoddy workmanship.)
 
−
 
−
 
−
== Natives Killed List: Wicksick Raid ==
 
−
 
−
 
−
'''Tyler Whitney:'''  The Captain has commenced hostilities with two, particularly foul-smelling natives, and is now awaiting the arrival of the rest of the crew before he makes his second run through the village.
 
−
 
−
'''Johny Bollocks:'''
 
−
 
−
'''Rob Cath:'''
 
−
 
−
'''Teach:'''
 
−
 
−
'''Captain Dan: 1''' Tis obvious we be of equal calibre and strengh, let us both aim for 40. I see ye need to be redeemed, but I wish to prove myself to the Capt'n also. In the Dalpok raid, I proved my worth as a senior crew member. Now I fight to show that I am worthy of this honoured posistion to the Captain. '''I have killed Foo Fighter! He was the Leader of the Wiksik Head Hunters. Well its head that now hangs from my belt!''' (good job, that guy makes me mad)--[[User:Badhammer|Badhammer]] 00:20, 13 July 2006 (UTC)
 
−
 
−
'''Rob Da Blade:'''
 
−
 
−
'''Xintlaer:''' Harrr... I shall not count the heads... I shall KILL, PLUNDER, BURN, AND RAPE... or may that be that the order will be diffrent...
 
−
 
−
'''Wifey:'''
 
−
 
−
'''Wolverine:'''
 
−
 
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'''Baron Von Roeboat:'''
 
−
 
−
'''badhammer:''' since th' floggins i've been hungry fer some native blood t' prove m'self to th' cap'n again. i will kill 20 natives an' their shaman before i leave wiksik!        today i kill'd a mistrrr Josh Green o' Wiksik o'ver by th' mountain afterrr i saw Le Pirate Robert n tipped me hat ta 'im. since i be not in wiksik yet and the raid hasn't beggun, e's not part o' th' count i say. but a kill none the less. an' i killed the monkey he was fightin' too. harhar.--[[User:Badhammer|Badhammer]] 20:33, 8 July 2006 (UTC) OI! cap'n dan! i see ye' aimin' fer 25! i see ye' an' raise ye' i aim fer 30 now. may i die an' haunt them until i come back to kill em again.--[[User:Badhammer|Badhammer]] 21:37, 8 July 2006 (UTC) OI! dan! 35! mate i aim for 40 now. i be sittin' a lil north o' the town, i just got revived bby a wanddering shaman and ended up a few paces north o th' town. tomorrow i attack.--[[User:Badhammer|Badhammer]] 09:25, 11 July 2006 (UTC) You attack zevna for 3 damage. They die. (the raid hasn't begun yet, but i killed another one. --[[User:Badhammer|Badhammer]] 19:46, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
 
−
 
−
'''Pieman:'''
 
−
 
−
'''Tycho "Yarr" Everett:''' I plan to distract the natives with ticking GPS units and glittering gems. Rumor has it that Wiksiki are also particularly keen for "brown liquid" (watered down only somewhat by mud from the freshwater spring).
 
−
 
−
'''Born to Kill:''' After thsi raid, i will no longer be the cabin boy, but the cabin man! after i clean my pipes out in the natives i kill. i aim for at least a threesome, maybe more if my cutlasses don't break as often as they do.
 
−
 
−
'''Dr Capitalism:'''
 
−
 
−
'''Crimson Jake:'''
 
−
 
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'''Sigfrid:'''
 
  
−
'''Anne Bonny:'''
+
==ATTENTION!!! OFFICER ON DECK!!!==
 +
ON YOUR FEET SCABS!!!
 +
Ohh what a sorry excuse for a crew be ye...
 +
Of course pirates fight amongst themselves, they drink and they whore and they act in a way totally un-becoming of a proper gentleman. THEY ARE PIRATES!!! On the other hand pirates are expected to keep their ship in repair and their duties in mind.  Bless me if the cap’n were here he would have the lot of ya flogged. Lucky for you we are without a proper port and finding a half way decent crew would be like finding an able fighter in YORK!!! So all hands on deck, and be ready for presentation at three bells, Ships surgeon, ready the men for inspection, Captain Whitney wants them all fighting fit for trials ahead.
  
−
'''Axelius:'''
+
Sir Robert Cath, Sailing Master Of the Hell-born Strumpet
  
−
'''OpiumJoe:'''
 
  
−
'''Irene:'''
+
Aye-Aye, Sir! I tried to rally em ages past, but unresponsiveness drove me into a long sleep. Well I be back now, and I'll be damned if any Mangy Seadog will get past my eyes! Sure, I may be only 16 and a Surgeon, but I've done more fighting then the rest of ye put togather. So gather your cutlesses and put that God-Damn rum donw and meet me at the ships main deck for inspection from the Captain and all the other Blessed Officers that be leading us! I be back, and I be not taking any excuses! ''' Captain Dan, Ships Surgeon of the Hell Born Strumpet and proud of it!'''
  
−
'''b4ll54ck kill3r:'''
+
I'm a JRGman, so I'm happy to see your wiki is back in activity, and I hope your crew follows! Come on lads, keep the pirates strong! [[User:Rozen|Rozen]]
  
−
'''Karrak the Drunk:''' If'n I can get to Wikstick or wha'ever tha name be, I'll take 'least five of th' stinkin' native's heads.
+
[[Category:Shipwreck]]

Latest revision as of 02:00, 10 March 2010

The Scurvy Crew of The Hell-born Strumpet
Newpiratetee.jpg
In-game page
Leadership: Captain Tyler Whitney
Members: There be the Captain, the First Mate, the Sailing Master, the Master's Mate, the Gunner, the Gunner's Mate, the Ship's Surgeon, the Surgeon's Mate, a Rum Runner, the Cabin Boy, the Ship's Carpenter, the Boatswain, the Cartographer the Able-bodied Seamen, and A Monkey.
Goals: The pursuit of booty and/or rum. YARRR!!!
Recruitment policy: ARRR!! All crew positions be determined by first-come first-serve or no rules cage death match. Ye must be a pirate or pirate sympathizer. If ye wish to name your own rank ye have liberty to add it to the ship's manifest.
Contact: E-mail aehrig@hamilton.edu to be added to the manifest.


The Secret History of Captain Tyler Whitney

It was during a partial lunar eclipse several months ago that the Captain entered one of his "fits" of stumbling delerium. Most likely brought on by a batch of particularly foul York-town rum. And as any resident of Shartak knows, the only rum worth drinking is either Derbyman Blue or the Shipwreck's own Wild Strumpet 301 Proof Rum. A chemical and mathematical paradox of deliciousness! It was in this period, while the Captain was wandering the jungle, shouting at ferns and drinking elephant milk, that the long neglected ship's log of the Hell-Born Stumpet was found in the Large Cabin. This log will know doubt become an invaluable resource for all residents of the island in decyphering the Crew's bizarre origins and motives. The first installment to be taken out of the water in the Cabin, transcribed, and reproduced here is a record of the Captain's life before the Strumpet wrecked on Shartak.


A Gentleman's Wager

It appears that recently a member of the Scurvy Crew has had a beef and has started hunting a member of the Jolly Roger Gang. Rather than let this encourage more violence between the crews the Captains have decided to let them settle it between themselves. The recent decision to start placing bets on who wins and the possible profits of such had absolutely nothing to do with the Captains' judgement in this case.

That being said, PLACE YOUR BETS! PLACE YOUR BETS RIGHT HEAH!!!

  • Captain Michael Edwards: 7 on the Roger boy to win
  • Captain Tyler Whitney: 5 gold on Mr. Xintlaer to win, with a side bet of six gold that he gets lucky and lands two 5-damage swings of the cutlass in the process.
  • Captain Dan wages 30 golden coins on Xintlaer to beat this here Roger boy! Note, this be a private bet. Anyone wish to risk 30 coins on that Zom-VLD will beat our boy?
  • Rozen, JRG's PKer slayer, wagers 5 on Zom, with a side bet of 5, on the fight ending with the winner (whoever it be) on lower than 15 HP.
  • Zom-VLD, JRG's treasurer - 30 gold to whoever wins (challenge bet)
  • Xintlaer, Strumpet's boatswain - 30 to the winner too.
  • Master Dan jun Perls: Me thinks the mate called Xintlaer has better odds. 50 gold coins on Xintlaer.

As it appears Mr. Xintlaer and the Jolly Roger's treasurer are the offending parties they are encouraged to approach the beach adjacent to the shipwreck on Friday (exact time to be determined) when the match will begin.

The Gentleman's wager (while a most excellent plan in theory) collapsed in practice as nearby ghosts harrassed fighters, gamblers, and spectators alike. After several tries, a change in venue, and postponments the endeavor was abandoned. Perhaps to be attempted again at a later date.


Vendetta!

Over the past few months the Scurvy Crew and other Pirates have become increasingly aware of Outsiders directing violence at their Pirate cousins.

Tableau-barbenoire.jpg

(Unidentified members of the Scurvy Crew and Anti-Pirates engage in battle at the Hell-born Strumpet's Wreck).

For some reason nearly all the clans that have made slaying Pirates their mandate are based out of York. To determine the actual situation the Captain went on a goodwill tour to the Yorkmen's camp. Believing that it was bad manners for a visitor to arrive at a neighbor's empty-handed Captain Whitney brought a bag filled 43 bottles of rum (one for every member of the Crew), and several cutlasses with which to impress the locals. By the time he arrived in York only half a bottle of rum was left, and this was soon thrown at a nearby wild boar. After announcing his presence and intentions at the local Colonial Police station the Captain decided to hit the town. There he saw a pub and several huts in which Outsiders and Natives cohabited peacefully and in which Captain Whitney was welcomed with opened arms and bottles. Such civility between Outsiders and Natives seemed unnatural to the Captain, but he was determined not to offend his hosts, especially while they were picking up this round.

It was during his second night of carousing with the locals that the Captain was assaulted by his first Anti-Pirate. It was one of the same Yorkmen who had been harrassing the Strumpet's Wreck and any other pirates they happened across.

With what he now knew about the population of York, and its Anti-Pirate minority the Captain is convinced that a declaration of Vendetta is in order. The Captain declares Vendetta as approved murdering of one or more clans rather than the indiscriminate targeting of a village as in a Raid. While individual members of these clans have whispered their belief that their machetes might abstain from Scurvy Crew blood (due to the Crew's general policy of non-violence towards other Outsiders) their actions speak differently. The Scurvy Crew cannot also stand by while other Pirates are slain simply for loving rum and brawling more than the island's more timid elements. The Crew be hereby ordered to sink their daggers and cutlasses into members of the following clans wherever they be found:

  • The Pirate Hunters: Goes without saying...
  • York Pirate Slayers: Same as above...
  • The Order of Patriots: It at first appeared the Order's mandate be only the defense of citizens of York and not indiscriminate pirate-hunting. This led the Captain to propose Parley with the Order. The Captain's offer of Parley was soundly rejected and they have made it clear through their words and actions that their goal is the complete obliteration of Pirates from the island. They should be considered as no better than the rumless Natives...

A member of one of the clans mentioned above recently approached the Captain in York and asked for a temporary ceasefire. It seems someone has contracted the Mercenary's Guild to attack the same clans the Scurvy Crew has now declared Vendetta against. This was done before the start of the Captain's goodwill tour of the Yorkmen's camp.

The Captain sees no reason to declare a ceasefire. Why should we, your targets since your clans' inception be moved to restraint now when you have demonstrated none towards us in the past? Are Pirates supposed to pity you now that you are seeing the result of your months of indiscriminate violence towards us? Why should we sheath our cutlasses and wait for your machetes to be sunk into our backs at your convenience? No, many strange and evil things dwell in the hearts of pirates, but mercy isn't one of them.

New Tortuga Has Been Achieved

At the conclusion of negotiations with various other outsider groups the island that the Scurvy Crew calls New Tortuga has been declared a nonaggression zone. The Captain protected the Scurvy Crew's right to behave like violent, drunken villians throughout the lengthy parley. This natural right has been reinforced (so long as no outsiders are harmed on the island or within its shallow waters). What follows below is the original account of the Captain's spiritual awakening and call to New Tortuga:

The Wiksik Raid was hard fighting, no denying that. Those members of the crew who braved the jungle, ill-educated anti-pirate outsiders, native beasts, and savage natives, found themselves several days travel away from their home shaman. The glory and rum won by our cutlasses was that much sweeter with the struggle.


42699438 5b6c0cc023.jpg

(Derbymen, unaligned Pirates, and members of The Scurvy Crew battle through the island's natives to assault the shaman of Wiksik.)


Many Pirates and Outsiders died in the Wicksick raid. The Captain himself greeted his pirate brethren in the afterlife. It was in this shadow realm that the Captain witnessed the Giant Bottle of Rum.

"Behold your better," said the Bottle of Rum, "And Despair..."

And the Captain of The Scurvy Crew beheld the Giant Bottle of Rum. "Truly I both love and fear you O' Giant Bottle of Rum, but what of my Pirate brothers and sisters? We have been scattered across the island" he said. "We are hunted for our heads by rumless savages. Where can we go to celebrate our bloody plunder and drain the island of rum?"

And yay the Giant Bottle of Rum looked upon the Scurvy Crew in their toils in Wiksik and said, "Know that I have created an island for ye who hunger, and thirst for drunkeness, and it is not the island you stand on. It is the island west of Shartak, and as ye pirates (the beloved children of the Giant Bottle of Rum) love inebriation, so shall you find rum on this island. And it shall be named "New Tortuga".

And the Captain understood The Giant Bottle of Rum, and knew its purpose for the Scurvy Crew. All Crewmembers be hereby ordered to flood the large, horizontal island west of the greater island of Shartak. This island, south of the Strumpet's wreck and west of the Native village of Dalpok, shall be known as "New Tortuga". New Tortuga shall henceforth be known as a private gaming preserve for outsiders in general, but pirates especially, and especially The Scurvy Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet.

Bloody Dalpok!

It was in the midst of a late afternoon apertif of 3 liters of Derby Rum that a sharpening stone was dropped in the Captain's lap by a particularly ugly monkey.

"Goddamit Monkey!" the Captain said. "That's the fifth time ye interrupted my pouring!"

The Captain then proceeded to waste three days of his life hunting the particularly ugly monkey through jungle, ruins, and shipwreck. He finally cornered it in the Strumpet's Crow's Nest (that sounds a bit racy doesn't it? Nevermind!). After the long pursuit, and being a bit peckish, the Captain ate the monkey.

Monkey2.jpg


Sources believe this to be the monkey in its natural habitat, and before the Captain ate it.


It was only when he got to the tail that he noticed a missive tied to it with a green ribbon. Picking his teeth with a monkey rib the Captain sat down to read the message with an after-supper pint of rum. It read:

"Ahoy Captain! My Gang of pirates has planned a raid on dalpok. We have a large deal of pirates marching on Dalpok next week,I would like to invite any of your crew members who might be around to partake in the pillage.--Michael edwards 00:17, 31 August 2006 (UTC)"

"Four Cannon's A-Blazing!" exclaimed the Captain with what he believed to be a pirate expression (it was not, in fact no pirate until him had ever said those words). "There are other pirates on the island besides my beloved Scurvy Crew?" The Captain then sat down and spent the rest of the day drinking and thinking about the implications of this discovery.

The Captain awoke the next morning to hear a ghost whispering in his ear. Shooting up ramrod straight the Captain climbed up Crow's Nest once more, and pulled from his pocket a whistle made of Native bones. Taking a deep breath the Captain then blew on the whistle, but no sound was heard. In fact, the dozens of pirates around the Strumpet's wreck (who the Captain had been too drunk or insane to notice until a day ago) were completely oblivious to the tiny figure at the top of the Crow's Nest, playing a whistle with all his formidable might. But across Shartak, in jungles and mountains, villages and grasslands, buried in swamps and floating in water, specially trained sets of ears heard a faint ringing.

"My Beloved Scruvy Crew of the Hell-Born Strumpet!" bellowed Captain Tyler Whitney from the Crow's Nest, "Blood's being spilled in a Native Village and we're not the cause of it! All crewmembers be ordered to join our pirate brothers in flooding the dirt paths of Dalpok with blood! BYOB!"


The Royal Expedition

Mr Dan here. I cannot stop ye or order ye to do anything, but for Christ Sake, PLEASE DON'T ATTACK ANY ROYAL EXPEDITION MEMBERS!!! I've spent a fair while negotiating with them not to attack us. We do not need a war. For more details, look at their talk page. Captain Dan


Well, I don't know why, but I just got killed by mister Jones Dye, a member of the Royal Expedition --Xintlaer 17:23, 25 August 2006 (UTC)

Ah hell with it. I can't negotiate. Kill em if you want. I wish you would have put a word in this Captain. Captain Dan

that bastard jones dye just killed me too! he's on new tortuga! someone kill him--Badhammer 14:51, 3 September 2006 (UTC)

Parley has been resumed with York and the Royal Expedition. If no appropriate reply is sent ye have liberty to pursue your vengance without fear of censure from your crew.

Current goals be:

  • Crew the ship: The Hell-born Strumpet (the bonniest ship in whatever ocean the island's in)
  • Terrorize the locals
  • Pursue the elusive three-headed monkey
  • Rum
  • Keelhauling
  • Wenches
  • Plunder
  • Grog

The Code of The Scurvy Crew

Any Pirates with the fortitude of spirit, or plenty of the hard spirits with which to fortify themselves may join, er, yargh...

  • Every man shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full share and a half in all Prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Surgeon, Boatswain and Gunner shall have one Share and quarter.
  • If any man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be marroon'd with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm and shot.
  • If any Many shall steel any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be marroon'd or shot.
  • If at any Time we should meet another Marrooner (that is Pyrate) that Man that shall sign his Articles without the Consent of our Company, shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.
  • That Man that shall strike another whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Mose's Law (that is 40 stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.
  • That Man that shall snap his Arms, or smoak Tobacco in the Hold, without a cap to his Pipe, or carry a Candle lighted without a Lanthorn, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article.
  • That Man that shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.
  • If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement he shall have 400 pieces of Eight; if a limb 800.
  • If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.

The Scurvy Crew is Legion

YAHRR! We be the first clan on the island to break 40 members!! The Captain decrees an extra pint of grog to all members in celebration.

On beach.jpg

Now accepting crew for the positions of:

Welcome aboard Mr. Cutthroat and Mr. Xenor!!

The Captain's offer of Parley to the Order of Patriots was soundly denied. The Scurvy Crew is now free to hunt them and the Pirate Hunters wherever they are found. Special care must be taken that innocent outsiders are not also slain so all crewmembers are advised to check their prey's profile before they strike.

Crimson Jake
Sigfrid Süßermann Avast!
Anne Bonny
Axelius
Jim Davey Jones
Karrak the Drunk
Xenor
Cutthroat
Jimbo Cooke
  • Marines(Outsider Soldiers):

Gunga Din

  • Drunk, One-Eyed, No-Thumbed Swordsmith Who's Responsible for Every Poorly made Cutlass on the Island: FaggishFred
  • Gold Biter & Rum Tester Arr Matee
  • Native Guild & Resident Cannibal: Killer Lobster

Pirates be expert cartographers

There has been talk of pirates scouring the mountain for buried treasure, and the Captain has seen Mr. Wifey in one of the tunnels. To help with navigation here be the first map of paths under the mountain yet produced.

Dr j tunnel1.png

Thanks go to Dr J for his spelunking.

Mr. Badhammer!

The Case of Mr. Badhammer has been moved to the discussion page in lieu of a dedicated history page to come later (once there's enough history to justify its existence). Any who wish to read about the first application of nautical justice in the island's history may find it there.

Your unknowingly disgraceful conduct embarrased the crew in the past (if it is indeed possible to disgrace persons such as we). You have, however, performed your duties admirably these past few months, and remained steadfastly loyal to the crew even during your demotion to Able Bodied Seaman. Your continued service to the crew in these conditions points to the high quality of your character. In light of your lengthy service, and the good conduct that was named as a necessity for your continued presence among the crew, your case is hereby dismissed. Ye be now reinstated to your former position as Quartermaster of the Scurvy Crew of the Hell-Born Strumpet. Congratulations, Quartermaster Badhammer! The crew lifts its flagons to you. You can drink at my table anytime. YAAHRRGH!! Tyler Whitney 04:37, 14 October 2006 (UTC)


As the man said:

"The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate."

Flynn.jpg

Native Guide

The Crew of the Hell-born Strumpet are looking for a native guide not only to translate and inform the crew of any hidden island booty, but also to be mocked and paid in small pox.


ATTENTION!!! OFFICER ON DECK!!!

ON YOUR FEET SCABS!!! Ohh what a sorry excuse for a crew be ye... Of course pirates fight amongst themselves, they drink and they whore and they act in a way totally un-becoming of a proper gentleman. THEY ARE PIRATES!!! On the other hand pirates are expected to keep their ship in repair and their duties in mind. Bless me if the cap’n were here he would have the lot of ya flogged. Lucky for you we are without a proper port and finding a half way decent crew would be like finding an able fighter in YORK!!! So all hands on deck, and be ready for presentation at three bells, Ships surgeon, ready the men for inspection, Captain Whitney wants them all fighting fit for trials ahead.

Sir Robert Cath, Sailing Master Of the Hell-born Strumpet


Aye-Aye, Sir! I tried to rally em ages past, but unresponsiveness drove me into a long sleep. Well I be back now, and I'll be damned if any Mangy Seadog will get past my eyes! Sure, I may be only 16 and a Surgeon, but I've done more fighting then the rest of ye put togather. So gather your cutlesses and put that God-Damn rum donw and meet me at the ships main deck for inspection from the Captain and all the other Blessed Officers that be leading us! I be back, and I be not taking any excuses! Captain Dan, Ships Surgeon of the Hell Born Strumpet and proud of it!

I'm a JRGman, so I'm happy to see your wiki is back in activity, and I hope your crew follows! Come on lads, keep the pirates strong! Rozen

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