==The Player==
Known as [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php?action=profile;u=403 Iceman] on the official forum; amongst other less flattering names, no doubt.

==The Characters==
My characters come and go, as I get bored of them, but the current batch are:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15031 Twist] - boner-inducingly handsome

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15108 ClickClick] - seeking atonement

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=Sympathetic_Phil Sympathetic Phil] - violent temper when drunk

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=Tkltchk Tkltchk] - hungry, want eat

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=Fist_McRhinopuncher Fist McRhinopuncher] - fairly self-explanatory

Previous characters include:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15395 Nigel the Pirate] - had the crotch-itch

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15532 Shovelly Joe] - four-eyed scalpel-jockey

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=16461 Flying Squirrel] - spirit botherer

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=17965 Monkeynuts] - wandering hunter and gardener

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=20197 Robert the Bastard] - nasty son-of-a-bitch of an outlaw

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=20436 Ignus Coruscatum] - twisted firestarter

==The Suggestions==
My natural arrogance leads me to assume I know best what the game needs, so every now and again I tell people.

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2821.0.html Advanced Cartography] - a new navigation skill for Scouts and Explorers

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2803.0.html Contact List Groups] - an option to group your contacts in user-defined groups

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2704.0.html Inter-Character Trading] - a semi-automated mechanism for trading with other players

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2686.0.html Gaming Items] - new items that can be used for rudimentary gaming and gambling *IMPLEMENTED*

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2637.0.html Clan Alliance and Warfare] - the option to enter into mutual feuds and alliances with other clans, with attendant XP bonuses and penalties

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2612.0.html Monthly In-Game Contests] - official contests that all players can register one character for, with prizes and rewards

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2603.0.html Spirit Quests] - quests dished out by new native NPC's, with XP rewards and profile descriptions

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2602.0.html Treasure Maps and Buried Treasure] - a new item, available from Outsider Traders, that leads to buried items

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2600.0.html Out-of-Body Sacred Space] - a compromise to allow the reintroduction of Sacred Space but remove the unbalancing aspects of the original version

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2756.0.html Clan Taglines or Descriptions] - a qualifying statement on the main Clans page to describe a clan's purpose and characteristics *IMPLEMENTED*

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2586.0.html More Exciting Animals] - some suggestions for more imaginative and interesting animals, in addition to or to replace some of the current boring ones. Small deer, I'm looking at you

==The Scribble Pad==
Note to self:

Travel Suggestion: Spirit Walking - go to any shaman, and for a reasonable AP cost, travel to any native village in spirit form. Skill required, not in spirit tree though. Additional skill required to use spirit skills other than Ghostly Whisper. Natives can Spirit Walk from all shamen, Outsiders only from Native villages.

Travel Suggestion: Ferry/Passenger Ship: new location in Outsider towns, docks. Characters stood on docks will, at set time each day, board ship and travel to next town along coast. No AP cost, but trip takes two AP cycles, during which time AP is regenerated but no actions can be performed. Cannot get off until reach port.

Medium Raw is most likely Diamond Joe Quimby. Nothing dodgy going on, I've just been curious for ages.

Nigel and Otfried are almost certainly the same player. Like to piss on people, and are sore losers.

Some weapon and combat statistics live here:

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2867.msg81482.html#msg81482 Machete + Glancing Blow vs. Wooden Club]

[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,3028.msg87208.html#msg87208 Balanced Stance]

User:Twist

2011-01-17T22:04:04Z

Twist: /* The Scribble Pad */

User:Twist

2011-01-17T21:25:30Z

Twist:

Drinkable Items

2011-01-03T20:34:05Z

Twist: Edited fungi juice for clarity

To drink a drinkable item, simply click on the item, and you drink it. This leaves behind an empty bottle or gourd, depending on what container the drinkable item was in.

=Drinks=

The following items are simple drinks. They have simple effects, and you can search huts for them.

Here's an explanation on the categories of Drinks.
*'''HP Restored''' - The amount of HP a drink restores. If this amount is negative, the drink will reduce your overall health, not restore it.
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - The amount a trader will offer you for your drink. If below 1, then you need to offer him more of your item to redeem that 1 gold coin.
*'''Location Found''' - Where this drink can be found by searching.
*'''Special Notes''' - Any special characteristics of the drink.

==Bottle of Beer==
*'''HP Restored''' = 2
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Location Found''' - Outsider Resource huts, Jungle
*'''Special Notes''' - Natives without [[outsider knowledge]] will only see this as a bottle of brown liquid, though they can drink it as normal.

==Bottle of Brown Liquid==
*'''HP Restored''' = 2
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Location Found''' - Outsider Resource huts, Jungle
*'''Special Notes''' - Is actually either beer or rum. Natives without [[outsider knowledge]] see it as this instead.

==Bottle/Gourd of Fresh Water==
*'''HP Restored''' = 2
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Location Found''' - Any Resource hut, Jungle
*'''Special Notes''' - Using an empty bottle on a River, Lake, Pool tile will gain one of these. Pouring this bottle on the ground will facilitate jungle growth.

==Bottle of Rum==
*'''HP Restored''' = 2
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Location Found''' - Outsider Resource huts, Jungle
*'''Special Notes''' - Natives without [[outsider knowledge]] will only see this as a bottle of brown liquid, though they can drink it as normal.

==Bottle/Gourd of Salt Water==
*'''HP Restored''' = -2
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Location Found''' - Any Resource hut, Jungle 8
*'''Special Notes''' - Using an empty bottle on water tile will gain one of these. Pouring this bottle on the ground will hinder jungle growth.

==Bottle/Gourd of Water==
*'''HP Restored''' = 2 or -2
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Location Found''' - Any Resource hut, Jungle
*'''Special Notes''' - Can be identified before drinking. Identifying costs 2 AP, and will change the name of the water to fresh water or salt water. The Player can drink this without identifying, though the effect will be random.

=Juices=

Juices can be made from combining a number of the same fruit, with an empty bottle/gourd in your inventory. It takes 4 [[AP]] to juice fruits. Juices heal a bit more than regular drinks, and can be sold for more money at a trader. No special skill is needed to make juices.

Here's an explanation on the categories of Juices.
*'''HP Restored''' = The amount of HP a drink restores. If this amount is negative, the drink will reduce your overall health, not restore it.
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - The amount a trader will offer you for your drink. If below 1, then you need to offer him more of your item to redeem that 1 gold coin.
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - What fruit is required to make the Juice
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - Number of Fruit required to juice.
*'''Special Notes''' - Any special characteristics of the juice.

==Bottle/Gourd of Apple Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = 4
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Apple
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 5

==Bottle/Gourd of Banana Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = 4
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Banana
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 4

==Bottle/Gourd of Berry Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = 8 or -8
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Bunch of Berries
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 4
*'''Special Notes''' - Outsiders without [[native knowledge]] cannot tell the difference between tasty berry juice of poisonous berry juice. They can drink it normally, but won't know the effects until they happen.

==Bottle/Gourd of Fungi Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = -4
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Fungi
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 3
*'''Special Notes''' - Drinking fungi juice grants an additional net 5AP (6AP gained in total, minus the 1AP required to drink it). After consumption and a delay of five actions, the next five actions will cost an additional 1AP. This additional AP cost is delayed for a further five actions with each additional fungi juice consumed, although the 'hangover' effect will also be increased for a further five actions.

==Bottle/Gourd of Mango Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = 4
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Mango
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 4

==Bottle/Gourd of Poisonous Berry Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = -8
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Bunch of Poisonous Berries
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 4
*'''Special Notes''' - Outsiders without [[native knowledge]] cannot tell the difference between tasty berry juice of poisonous berry juice.

==Bottle/Gourd of Pumpkin Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = 6
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Pumpkin
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 2

==Bottle/Gourd of Tasty Berry Juice==
*'''HP Restored''' = 8
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''What Fruit is needed''' - Bunch of Tasty Berries
*'''Number of Fruit Needed''' - 4
*'''Special Notes''' - Outsiders without [[native knowledge]] cannot tell the difference between tasty berry juice of poisonous berry juice.

=Brewed Drinks=

A brewed drink is a juice that is combined with 2 yeastweed. This drink will grant give more health points than juiced drinks. No special skill is needed to brew, though the [[Brewing]] skill will allow for a better chance of creating the brewed drink.

Here's an explanation on the categories of Brwed Drinks
*'''HP Restored''' = The amount of HP a drink restores. If this amount is negative, the drink will reduce your overall health, not restore it.
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - The amount a trader will offer you for your drink. If below 1, then you need to offer him more of your item to redeem that 1 gold coin.
*'''Type of Juice Needed''' - What Juice is needed to make this Brewed Drink
*'''Special Notes''' - Any special characteristics of the juice.

==Bottle/Gourd of Apple Cider==
*'''HP Restored''' = 6
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Type of Juice Needed''' - Bottle/Gourd of Apple Juice

==Bottle/Gourd of Banana Beer==
*'''HP Restored''' = 6
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Type of Juice Needed''' - Bottle/Gourd of Banana Juice

==Bottle/Gourd of Berry Wine==
*'''HP Restored''' = 12 or -12
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - 3-5
*'''Type of Juice Needed''' - Bottle/Gourd of Berry Juice
*'''Special Notes''' - Outsiders without [[native knowledge]] see certain bottles as this instead of the full name. They can drink it as normal though.

==Bottle/Gourd of Mango Wine==
*'''HP Restored''' = 6
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - ?
*'''Type of Juice Needed''' - Bottle/Gourd of Mango Juice

==Bottle/Gourd of Poisonous Berry Wine==
*'''HP Restored''' = -12
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - 3-5
*'''Type of Juice Needed''' - Bottle/Gourd of Poisonous Berry Juice
*'''Special Notes''' - Outsiders without [[native knowledge]] will only see this as a bottle of berry wine.

==Bottle/Gourd of Tasty Berry Wine==
*'''HP Restored''' = 12
*'''Range of Gold Coins Offered at Trader''' - 3-5
*'''Type of Juice Needed''' - Bottle/Gourd of Tasty Berry Juice
*'''Special Notes''' - Outsiders without [[native knowledge]] will only see this as a bottle of berry wine.

[[category:Items]]

Main Page

2010-12-16T21:25:11Z

Twist: Notification of Santa's arrival

{{Main Page Announcements|


mainpage_intro=This is an information hub for '''[http://www.shartak.com/ Shartak]''', a browser-based massively-multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG).
New players should read the '''[[Gameplay]]''' guide and perhaps the '''[[Tips and tricks]]''' and '''[[Requests for information]]''' pages.

The island of Shartak has been inhabited for several hundred years by native tribes from the villages of '''[[Dalpok]]''', '''[[Raktam]]''' and '''[[Wiksik]]'''. In recent times strangers to the island have appeared wearing odd clothes and carrying loud sticks. These outsiders have formed camps known as '''[[Derby]]''', '''[[Durham]]''' and '''[[York]]''' and have been joined by pirates whose '''[[shipwreck]]''' lies on the island's north shore. And now, on dark and stormy nights, the natives whisper tales of the shunned village '''[[Rakmogak]]''' and its terrible secret.

The strangers once stayed on the coast, away from the jungle, but now they travel inland in search of knowledge and plunder. It won't be long before they stumble across the villages and learn of the treasures of the tribal ancestors.|



mainpage_alert=''No messages.''|


mainpage_activities='''Recent wiki changes and additions'''
* Santa has set up shop in his Grotto at {{GPS|70|319|26|384}}, and is busy handing out gifts and being murdered by killjoy trophy-hunters who hate Christmas.
* A set of [[:Category:Historical_Article|History]] pages charting the island's history continues to be updated.
* Shartak has a best seller, and it's called [[Zomtard's, The Art of War]].
* Watch [[Little Bunny Foo Foo's Journey]] become the best around!
* The [[Demon Bear of Wiksik]] is awakening beneath the town.
* Custom huts now deliver special [[Custom Hut Items]]
* The [[Ghost Ship]] has made a splash in the waters around Shartak, with it's infamous Ghost Crew still on board.
'''Current projects'''
* [[Shaman|NPC shamans]] continue to be tracked.
* [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/ Shartak UBER MAP project]: Creates a detailed map from user input.
* [http://www.philosoph.us/misc/shartak/underworld Shartak Underworld]: Permanently logs kills and deaths.
}}

{{Main Page Navigation|

mainpage_navi1a=Basics|
mainpage_navi1b=
* [[Newcomers Guide]]
* [[Gameplay]]
* [[Tips and tricks]]
* [[:Category:Guides|How-To Guides]]
** [[A Pirate's Life]]
** [[The Native Path]]
** [[Outsider Ingenuity]]
** [[The_Art_Of_Necromancy_On_Shartak_Island|The Necromancer's Art]]
* [[User interface]]
* [[:Category:Roleplaying|Roleplaying]]
* [[:Category:Statistics|Statistics]]
|

mainpage_navi2a=Game information|
mainpage_navi2b=
* [[Class]]es
* [[Skills]]
* [[Items]]
* [[NPC]]s
* [[Animals]]
* [[Achievements]]
* [[:Category:Locations|Locations]]
** [[Terrain]]
** [[Camp]]s
** The [[Parchment Pages]] location list.
** Derby Evening Press [[Guide to Towns]].
|

mainpage_navi3a=Feedback|
mainpage_navi3b=
* [[Requests for information]]
* [[Game design]]
* [[Bugs]]
* [[Suggestions]]
* [http://forum.shartak.com Official forum]
|

mainpage_navi4a=Site information|
mainpage_navi4b=
* [http://www.shartak.com/faq.html FAQ]
* [http://www.shartak.com/news.html News]
* [http://www.shartak.com/stats.html Statistics]
* [http://www.shartak.com/donate.html Donate]
* [http://www.shartak.com/advertising.html Advertising]
|

mainpage_navi5a=Clans|
mainpage_navi5b=
* [[:Category:Clans|Clan pages]]
** [[:Category:Clans for natives|Clans for natives]]
** [[:Category:Clans for outsiders|Clans for outsiders]]
** [[:Category:Clans for everyone|Clans for everyone]]
|

mainpage_navi6a=Wiki information|
mainpage_navi6b=
* [[Project:Help|Editing and Help]]
* [[Project:Community Portal|Community portal]]
* [[The Shartak Wiki:Policies and guidelines|Policies and guidelines]]
* [[:Category:Delete|Delete]]
* [[:Category:Redirects|Redirects]]
* [[:Category:Templates|Templates]]
}}

Custom Hut Items

2010-11-28T21:16:59Z

Twist: Added hyphens and value

These items can only be found in specific customized huts. None of them have any use in the game itself other than showing up in one's profile. Currently they all have a identify button, which allows one to glean a longer description of said item.

==Pink-and-Purple Scarf==
*'''Location Found''' - Botheringhams Supporter's Club Club House
*'''Settlement''' - [[York]]
*'''Gold Coins Offered at Traders''' - 2

==Pith Helmet==
*'''Location Found''' - The Tower of the Parliament
*'''Settlement''' - [[Derby]]
*'''Gold Coins Offered at Traders''' - 2

==Plain Wooden Cup==
*'''Location Found''' - Kingdom of Wiksik -Throne Room
*'''Settlement''' - [[Wiksik]]
*'''Gold Coins Offered at Traders''' - ?

==Skull Staff==
*'''Location Found''' - Spirit Hut
*'''Settlement''' - [[Wiksik]]
*'''Gold Coins Offered at Traders''' - 4

[[Category:Items]]

Hut

2010-10-07T19:36:44Z

Twist: Updated Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House descriptions

{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" style="background-color: #f9f9f9; border: solid 1px #ccc; border-collapse: collapse; float: right" |
|-align="center"
|<div style="background-color: #fff; border: solid 1px #ccc; clear: both; margin-bottom: 5px; padding: 3px; width: 40px">[[Image:Hut.gif]]</div>The in-game hut icon.
|}

'''Huts''' are generally found in [[camp]]s, but some have been found in other [[locations]]. Players can enter or leave a hut for 1 AP. A player inside a hut can no longer see any outside squares. The map shrinks to a 3x3 grid, that only reveals the hut interior and a grey border. There is no maximum to the number of players that can fit inside one hut.

{|
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|-
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#aa8866;font-family:Verdana;">Hut</div>
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|-
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|<div style="width:80px;height:80px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #000;background-color:#666666;font-family:Verdana;"> </div>
|}

Huts tend to look the same on the outside, but each one has its own description inside. Upon entering a hut, you may find that it is "empty" or "dishevelled" or quite possibly something else entirely.

Players can carve [[Writing|messages]] on the outside and inside of huts. The interiors of huts can be searched for 1 AP. Certain huts are known to provide [[items]] more frequently than other locations.

Each [[camp]] has a [[trading]] hut. Although items cannot be found by searches in the trading hut, any item can be sold here, and each trader sells from a stock that includes local goods as well as items traded in by other characters. Trading huts recieved their own special icon in August of 2010. :''Main article: [[Trading]]''

=Resource huts=
[[Dalpok]], [[Derby]], [[Durham]], [[Rakmogak]], [[Raktam]], [[Wiksik]], and [[York]] have a Medical hut and a Weapon hut. Every camp has a Trading hut.

==Weapon huts==
[[Image:Weaponsicon.png]]
===Outsider version===
* '''Ammo hut (outsider) 36% (±4.5):''' [[bullet]] 9.5% (±2.8%), [[bottle of water]] 5.5% (±2.1%), [[knife]] 3.6% (±1.8%), [[machete]] 3.0% (±1.6%), box of 2-8 [[bullet]]s 3.0% (±1.6%), [[blunt machete]] 1.6% (±1.2%), [[bottle of beer]] 1.6% (±1.2%), [[gold coin]] 1.6% (±1.2%), [[sharpening stone]] 1.6% (±1.2%), empty [[rifle]] 1.4% (±1.1%), partially-loaded [[rifle]] 1.4% (±1.1%), loaded [[rifle]] 1.4% (±1.1%), [[GPS unit]] 0.9%.
===Native version===
:''You are standing inside a hut. It looks like this is where darts and blowpipes are made, with materials scattered across the floor.''
* '''Dart hut (native) 43% (±14%):''' [[poison dart]] 14% (±9.8%), bundle of 2-8 [[poison dart]]s 12% (±9.1%), empty [[blowpipe]] 6.1%, loaded [[blowpipe]] 4.1%, [[knife]] 2%, [[sharpening stone]] 2%, [[gold coin]] 2%.
==Medical huts==
[[Image:Medicalicon.png]]
===Outsider version===
* '''Medical hut (outsider) 34% (±2.8%):''' [[first aid kit]] 14% (±2.0%), [[bottle of water]] 5.9% (±1.4%), [[machete]] 3.0% (±1.0%), [[knife]] 2.8% (±1.0%), [[sharpening stone]] 2.2% (±0.9%), [[bottle of beer]] 2.0% (±0.8%), [[blunt machete]] 1.7% (±0.8%), [[gold coin]] 1.5% (±0.7%), [[GPS unit]] 0.8% (±0.5%).
===Native version===
:''A shaman has been busy preparing healing herbs and has left plenty of small bundles of herbs hanging from the ceiling whilst they dry out.''
* '''Herbal hut (native) 35% (±3.8%):''' [[healing herbs]] 17% (±3.0%), [[gold coin]] 3.8% (±1.5%), [[machete]] 3.7% (±1.5%), [[knife]] 2.5% (±1.3%), [[blunt machete]] 2.0% (±1.1%), [[sharpening stone]] 2.0% (±1.1%), [[poison dart]] 1.7% (±1.0%), bundle of 2-8 [[poison dart]]s 1.5% (±1.0%), empty [[blowpipe]] 0.7%, loaded [[blowpipe]] 0.5%.
==Trading Huts==
[[Image:Tradersicon.png]]
===Outsider Version===
===Native Version===
:''It looks like this hut is some kind of native trading post. There are interesting items stacked up around the edges and a large dog is sat in one corner ready to snarl at anyone trying to take any of the supplies.''
=Empty and dishevelled huts=
* '''Empty and dishevelled hut 7.5% (±3.0%):''' healing herbs 1.6%, dagger 1.4%, bottle water 0.9%, gold coin 0.7%, darts 0.7%, dart bundles 0.7%, machete 0.5%, knife 0.5%, bottle beer 0.2%, sharpening stone 0.2%, gem 0.2%. Odds vary based on location (temple ruins, derelict ruins, native camp, outsider camp, and so on), so these numbers are not representative for any particular location. However such huts have rarely returned much of value. See ''[[Search odds condensed]]'' for raw data.
=Santa's grotto=
[[Santa]]'s grotto {{GPS|70|319|26|384}} is the only hut that does not belong to a camp. It appears nothing can be found.(When Santa is away.)

=Custom Huts=
With a donation of a few dollars a month, a player can create a custom hut in a village. There can only ever be two custom huts in a village, and they tend to have a different graphic, and a unique description.

==Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House==
*Owner - [[Botheringham FC Supporters' Club]]
*Location - [[York]]
*Outside Description
A pink-and-purple scarf hangs above the doorway of the nearest hut.
*Inside Description
You are stood inside a small hut, decorated entirely in pink and purple. A tapestry hanging above the fireplace proudly displays the Botheringham FC logo, and the walls are lined with trophies, pictures, and all other manner of Bov’s memorabilia.
==Spirit Hut==
*Owner - Necromancer's Guild
*Location - [[Wiksik]]
*Outside Description
*Inside Description
==Kingdom of Wiksik - Throne Room==
*Owner - Kingdom of Wiksik
*Location - [[Wiksik]]
*Outside Description
*Inside Description
==Royal Court of Greater Raktam's Hut==
*Owner - Royal Court of Greater Raktam
*Location - [[Raktam]]
*Outside Description
*Inside Description
==Citadel of the Dalpok Crownlands==
*Owner - Dalpoki Crownlands
*Location - [[Dalpok]]
*Outside Description
*Inside Description
==The Tower of the Parliament==
*Owner - Penisular Federation
*Location - [[Durham]]
*Outside Description
*Inside Description

[[Category:Glossary]]

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2010-07-09T21:47:46Z

Twist: Updated Lowersex-FC-supporting bastards

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=firstamongstdaves FirstAmongstDaves]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=buzzmong buzzmong]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Swarm Swarm]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Getsome_Food Getsome Food]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Keiichi Keiichi]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Ice_Pack Ice Pack]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Noir_Rouge Noir Rouge]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

User:Twist

2010-06-28T20:55:43Z

Twist: /* The Characters */

Conch Shell

2010-06-21T20:35:44Z

User:Twist

2010-05-07T19:13:14Z

Twist: New page: Known as [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php?action=profile;u=403 Iceman] on the oficial forum; amongst other less flattering names, no doubt. My characters come and go, as I get bored o...

Known as [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php?action=profile;u=403 Iceman] on the oficial forum; amongst other less flattering names, no doubt.

My characters come and go, as I get bored of them, but the current batch are:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15031 Twist] - boner-inducingly handsome

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15108 ClickClick] - seeking atonement

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=Sympathetic_Phil Sympathetic Phil] - violent temper when drunk

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=Tkltchk Tkltchk] hungry, want eat

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=Ignus_Coruscatum Ignus Coruscatum] - twisted firestarter

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=Fist_McRhinopuncher Fist McRhinopuncher] - fairly self-explanatory

Animals

2010-04-05T20:01:29Z

Twist: Included link to new 'teaching parrots' page

Many '''animals''' live on the island. Most are visible and can be attacked, while some are concealed in the terrain and cannot be harmed or even noticed until they attack.

== Visible animals ==
Visible animals can be seen on the [[user interface|game map]]. They move or attack on their own twice an hour, once at 5 minutes past and once at 35 minutes past, and will also attack reactively (and immediately) each time they are attacked.

Most animals are passive and will only attack a player actively (not reactively) if the player has attacked them, at which point the animal will attack once every 30 minutes until they are dead, the player is dead, the player runs away, or a different player harms them. Other animals, including elephants, tigers, and wild boars, will attack without provocation. A player who sleeps near such an animal may wake to find that they have been mauled and possibly killed because the animal wandered across their location.

Below is a table of all visible, non-seasonal animals found to date.

{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" style="background-color: #f9f9f9; border: solid 1px #ccc; border-collapse: collapse" |
|-align="left" bgcolor="#0095B6" valign="top"
! Animal !! Max HP !! Frequency !! Accuracy !! Damage !! XP Bonus !! Location !! Notes
|-valign=top
| | Alligator
|align=right| 25
|align=right| 2x
|align=right| 45%
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 18
| | [[Swamp]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time. Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Alligator, Hungry
|align=right| 33
|align=right| 2x
|align=right| 45%(?)
|align=right| 4-6
|align=right| 19
| | [[Swamp]]
| | Very aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Bat
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 40%
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 4
| | [[Jungle]], [[Camps]], [[Cave]]
| | Appeared for the first time during Halloween in 2007.
|-valign=top
| | Bear
|align=right| 30
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 30%
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 18
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked.
|-valign=top
| | Deer, large
|align=right| 15
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 10
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| | Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Deer, small
|align=right| 15
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 10
| | [[Jungle]], [[Grassland]]
| | Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Elephant
|align=right| 60
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 60%
|align=right| 4
|align=right| 33
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Elephant, rogue
|align=right| 90
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 80%
|align=right| 7
|align=right| 48
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| | The new name of an elephant that has killed a player.
|-valign=top
| | Giant spider
|align=right| 50
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 55%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 28
| | [[Cave]], [[Tunnel]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Attacks result in [[poisoning]] 75% of the time, causing 1 HP of damage on each of their next three actions.
|-valign=top
| | Giant squid
|align=right| 300,450
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 5-6
|align=right| 153
| | [[Water]], [[Water (deep)]]
| | Rare, very tough.
|-valign=top
| | Giant squid, fully-grown
|align=right| 450,600
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 6-8
|align=right| 200-230
| | [[Water (deep)]]
| | Very rare, exceptionally tough. HP, damage and XP bonus increases above base level depending upon the number of players the squid has killed. First sighted by [[User:Doppelganger|Doppelganger]], 13:24, 10 October 2006, NNE of Shartak Island.
|-valign=top
| | Goat
|align=right| 20
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 20%
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 13
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Has been [http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/Image:Misplaced_Goat.JPG seen] in [[Jungle]].
|-valign=top
| | Guard dog
|align=right| 15
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 20%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 10
| | [[Camp]] [[trading post]]s
| |
|-valign=top
| | Monkey
|align=right| 10
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 8
| | [[Jungle]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Parrot
|align=right| 5
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 5
| | [[Jungle]]
| | Can be 'taught' to repeat speech actions - see [[Teaching Parrots]]. Has been seen on fresh water squares.
|-valign=top
| | Rat
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 30%
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 4
| | [[Tunnel]], [[Cave]]
| | Aggressive; attack in packs.
|-valign=top
| | Rhino
|align=right| 50
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 35%
|align=right| 4
|align=right| 28
| | [[Grassland]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | [[Shargle]]
|align=right| 30
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 18
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time.
|-valign=top
| | Shargle, ferocious
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 21
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Aggressive, attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time
|-valign=top
| | Songbird
|align=right| 5
|align=right| 1x (?)
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 5
| | [[Grass]]
| | Can chirp an exciting melody, sing a melancholy tune, or chirp and flap a silly display. (All do nothing.)
|-valign=top

| | Stag, large
|align=right| 20
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 50%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 13
| | [[Jungle]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Tiger
|align=right| 20,25
|align=right| 2x
|align=right| 55%
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 13
| | [[Jungle]], [[Grassland]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time.
|-valign=top
| | Tiger, ferocious
|align=right| 25
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 6
|align=right| 15
| | [[Jungle]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Turtle
|align=right| 30
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 25%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 18
| | [[Water]], [[Beach]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Wild boar
|align=right| 15
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 30%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 10
| | [[Jungle]], [[Grassland]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Has been seen in fresh water.
|}
Notes:
* "Frequency" is the number of times an animal attacks in a half-hour period.
* "Accuracy" is the animal's apparent attack accuracy rounded to the nearest 5%. This is lower when the target has ''[[animal affinity]]''. (See [[Talk:Animals|the talk page]] for tabled statistics.)
* "Damage" is the damage dealt by one of the animal's attacks.

When you attack an animal you receive [[XP]] equal to the damage listed for the weapon you used. Killing an animal yields an additional bonus of (5 + ''max HP'') / 2, rounded up, as listed in the "XP Bonus" column. (For example, if a monkey has 1 [[HP]] remaining when you kill it with a machete that deals 3 HP of damage, your action gives you 3 XP for the damage and 8 for the kill, totaling 11.)

== Players attacking animals ==
Attacking animals is a great source of [[experience points]] for new arrivals to the island, though when lacking any combat skills it is hard even to kill a parrot! It is also done for sport by some, such as the [[Shartak Tiger Hunters]], and the various adventurers who sought or seek the legendary giant squids. Many players use their first several hundred [[action points]] doing little except seeking out and attacking animals, so that they may gain enough experience--and thus skills--to do other things effectively. Beware on the hunt, though, as all animals have been known to defend themselves, and some can tear you apart or stomp you to death very quickly.

When hunting, be sure to take plenty of [[medical supplies]] or bottles of special Shartak-bottled [[water]], which has amazing healing power. Also be sure to pick up several [[machete]]s or [[cutlass]]es, or a [[heavy sword]] if you can find one, as these are the best weapons against animals. Do not attack with your hands, or you will be sorry, especially against large animals! When punching an elephant, a large stag, or a tiger, special messages may display:

* ''You attack the elephant and miss. Suddenly attacking the elephant with your bare hands doesn't seem so clever!''
* ''You attack the elephant and miss. Pausing a moment to reflect on this, tackling the elephant with your bare hands might be considered crazy!''

== Special animals ==
The world of Shartak has many surprises. Strange and mysterious animals occasionally show up and scare or delight the inhabitants of the island. Easter bunnies have been known to make appearances in the Easter season, as have fearsome and powerful rampaging giant-squids who have been known to crawl on land to attack "prey" (i.e., us). During the Halloween season, animals do not die but rather become "zombified" upon death. When killing a zombified animal, the text read: ''You attack the zombified (insert animal here) for X damage. It dies. To your horror, the corpse of the zombified (insert animal here) gets back up and carries on with what it was doing... attacking you!''. All zombified animals have the same stats as the normal versions.

Below is a table of all visible, seasonal animals found to date.

{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" style="background-color: #f9f9f9; border: solid 1px #ccc; border-collapse: collapse" |
|-align="left" bgcolor="#0095B6" valign="top"
! Animal !! Max HP !! Frequency !! Accuracy !! Damage !! XP Bonus !! Location !! Notes
|-valign=top
| | Easter Bunny
|align=right| 30 or 50
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 60%
|align=right| 4
|align=right| 28
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| |16 april 2006- first appearance,30hp but could be healed to 50hp

april 2008- 50hp, healing gives twice xp

2 april 2010- 50hp damage:4 high accuracy

|-valign=top
| | Werewolf
|align=right| 50
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 3
|align=right| ?
| | [[Camps]] (?)
| | Their first appearance is unknown. They appeared again during Halloween in 2007. Very soon, they were hunted to extinction.
|}
Notes:
* "Frequency" is the number of times an animal attacks in a half-hour period.
* "Accuracy" is the animal's apparent attack accuracy rounded to the nearest 5%. This is lower when the target has ''[[animal affinity]]''. (See [[Talk:Animals|the talk page]] for tabled statistics.)
* "Damage" is the damage dealt by one of the animal's attacks.

For special characters that may or may not be considered animals, such as elves or Santa, see [[Special characters]].

== Concealed animals ==
'''Sharks''' reside in the deep water off the coasts of Shartak. They cannot be seen or attacked, as they lurk below the surface out of sight. They are particularly aggressive and often attack people swimming in the deep water. A shark attack deals 2 HP damage, and the resulting wounds deal 1 HP damage per action (not per AP) until the player [[Death|dies]] or is healed with a [[first aid kit]] or [[healing herb]]. Once a player is bitten, they will see "You are bleeding" below their map next to their name until they are healed or die. The effects of shark wounds are not cumulative. Research suggests that there is a 25% probability of a shark attack in deep water: a zero percent probability of shark attack in shallow water.

'''Poisonous snakes''' cannot be seen or attacked. A character who is searching [[grassland]]s can capture a poisonous snake, which then appears in [[inventory]]. Rumour has it that poison darts may be able to be manufactured from snakes, but this knowledge has apparently been lost to the natives. Perhaps one day native shamans will re-discover this magic. Searching the grasslands can also cause you to get bitten by a snake for 3 HP damage (the snake then slithers away), which poisons you.

'''Crabs''' cannot be seen or attacked. A character who is searching [[beach]]es can capture a crab--which then appears in character's inventory--or the character can be pinched by one for 1 HP in damage. ("Searching the area, you find a crab. It nips your finger with its claws and scuttles away".) Thus far, no one on Shartak has discovered how to use a crab, though the traders may know something we do not, as they pay a fair amount of gold for live crabs.

[[Category:Glossary]]

Teaching Parrots

2010-04-05T19:57:21Z

Twist:

It is possible to 'teach' parrots to repeat speech actions. The exact mechanism is unknown, but circumstantial evidence has proven that repeating a sentence five times when on the same square as a parrot will result in it 'learning' the phrase and, ahem, parroting it randomly in the future.

What is unknown is:

1/ Whether it is possible to teach parrots phrases by repeating it less than five times, or if there is a percentage chance of a parrot learning a phrase.

2/ Whether parrots learn phrases individually, or all the parrots on the island have a collective library of learned phrases. There is anecdotal evidence for both. On the one hand, it has been noted that a parrot has repeated the taught phrase immediately after it was taught it, which would suggest this was the only phrase it knew. On the other hand, a parrot has been recorded [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2732.msg77934.html#msg77934 repeating a phrase] long after it would have been expected to have been killed - although there is a distinct possibilty that multiple parrots were taught the same phrase. Still, this occurence does suggest that parrots have a shared vocabulary.

3/ Whether, if parrots are taught individually, each new phrase overwrites any previous, or is added to its repetoire.

4/ Whether, if parrots have a collective vocabulary, the number of parrots taught a particular phrase affects the liklihood of that phrase being repeated by other parrots.

Various forum threads covering parrotological vocabulary:

http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1583.0.html

http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2688.0.html

http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2732.0.html

Teaching Parrots

2010-04-05T19:56:32Z

Twist: New page: It is possible to 'teach' parrots to repeat speech actions. The exact mechanism is unknown, but circumstantial evidence has proven that repeating a sentence five times when on the same squ...

It is possible to 'teach' parrots to repeat speech actions. The exact mechanism is unknown, but circumstantial evidence has proven that repeating a sentence five times when on the same square as a parrot will result in it 'learning' the phrase and, ahem, parroting it randomly in the future.

What is unknown is:

1/ Whether it is possible to teach parrots phrases by repeating it less than five times, or if there is a percentage chance of a parrot learning a phrase.
2/ Whether parrots learn phrases individually, or all the parrots on the island have a collective library of learned phrases. There is anecdotal evidence for both. On the one hand, it has been noted that a parrot has repeated the taught phrase immediately after it was taught it, which would suggest this was the only phrase it knew. On the other hand, a parrot has been recorded [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2732.msg77934.html#msg77934 repeating a phrase] long after it would have been expected to have been killed - although there is a distinct possibilty that multiple parrots were taught the same phrase. Still, this occurence does suggest that parrots have a shared vocabulary.
3/ Whether, if parrots are taught individually, each new phrase overwrites any previous, or is added to its repetoire.
4/ Whether, if parrots have a collective vocabulary, the number of parrots taught a particular phrase affects the liklihood of that phrase being repeated by other parrots.

Various forum threads covering parrotological vocabulary:

http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1583.0.html
http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2688.0.html
http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,2732.0.html

Animals

2010-04-05T19:36:32Z

Twist: 'Teaching' parrots added to notes

Many '''animals''' live on the island. Most are visible and can be attacked, while some are concealed in the terrain and cannot be harmed or even noticed until they attack.

== Visible animals ==
Visible animals can be seen on the [[user interface|game map]]. They move or attack on their own twice an hour, once at 5 minutes past and once at 35 minutes past, and will also attack reactively (and immediately) each time they are attacked.

Most animals are passive and will only attack a player actively (not reactively) if the player has attacked them, at which point the animal will attack once every 30 minutes until they are dead, the player is dead, the player runs away, or a different player harms them. Other animals, including elephants, tigers, and wild boars, will attack without provocation. A player who sleeps near such an animal may wake to find that they have been mauled and possibly killed because the animal wandered across their location.

Below is a table of all visible, non-seasonal animals found to date.

{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" style="background-color: #f9f9f9; border: solid 1px #ccc; border-collapse: collapse" |
|-align="left" bgcolor="#0095B6" valign="top"
! Animal !! Max HP !! Frequency !! Accuracy !! Damage !! XP Bonus !! Location !! Notes
|-valign=top
| | Alligator
|align=right| 25
|align=right| 2x
|align=right| 45%
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 18
| | [[Swamp]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time. Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Alligator, Hungry
|align=right| 33
|align=right| 2x
|align=right| 45%(?)
|align=right| 4-6
|align=right| 19
| | [[Swamp]]
| | Very aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Bat
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 40%
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 4
| | [[Jungle]], [[Camps]], [[Cave]]
| | Appeared for the first time during Halloween in 2007.
|-valign=top
| | Bear
|align=right| 30
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 30%
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 18
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked.
|-valign=top
| | Deer, large
|align=right| 15
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 10
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| | Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Deer, small
|align=right| 15
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 10
| | [[Jungle]], [[Grassland]]
| | Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Elephant
|align=right| 60
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 60%
|align=right| 4
|align=right| 33
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Has been seen in fresh water.
|-valign=top
| | Elephant, rogue
|align=right| 90
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 80%
|align=right| 7
|align=right| 48
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| | The new name of an elephant that has killed a player.
|-valign=top
| | Giant spider
|align=right| 50
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 55%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 28
| | [[Cave]], [[Tunnel]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Attacks result in [[poisoning]] 75% of the time, causing 1 HP of damage on each of their next three actions.
|-valign=top
| | Giant squid
|align=right| 300,450
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 5-6
|align=right| 153
| | [[Water]], [[Water (deep)]]
| | Rare, very tough.
|-valign=top
| | Giant squid, fully-grown
|align=right| 450,600
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 6-8
|align=right| 200-230
| | [[Water (deep)]]
| | Very rare, exceptionally tough. HP, damage and XP bonus increases above base level depending upon the number of players the squid has killed. First sighted by [[User:Doppelganger|Doppelganger]], 13:24, 10 October 2006, NNE of Shartak Island.
|-valign=top
| | Goat
|align=right| 20
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 20%
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 13
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Has been [http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/Image:Misplaced_Goat.JPG seen] in [[Jungle]].
|-valign=top
| | Guard dog
|align=right| 15
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 20%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 10
| | [[Camp]] [[trading post]]s
| |
|-valign=top
| | Monkey
|align=right| 10
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 8
| | [[Jungle]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Parrot
|align=right| 5
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 5
| | [[Jungle]]
| | Can be 'taught' to repeat speech actions. Has been seen on fresh water squares.
|-valign=top
| | Rat
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 30%
|align=right| 1
|align=right| 4
| | [[Tunnel]], [[Cave]]
| | Aggressive; attack in packs.
|-valign=top
| | Rhino
|align=right| 50
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 35%
|align=right| 4
|align=right| 28
| | [[Grassland]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | [[Shargle]]
|align=right| 30
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 18
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time.
|-valign=top
| | Shargle, ferocious
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 21
| | [[Mountain]]
| | Aggressive, attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time
|-valign=top
| | Songbird
|align=right| 5
|align=right| 1x (?)
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 5
| | [[Grass]]
| | Can chirp an exciting melody, sing a melancholy tune, or chirp and flap a silly display. (All do nothing.)
|-valign=top

| | Stag, large
|align=right| 20
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 50%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 13
| | [[Jungle]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Tiger
|align=right| 20,25
|align=right| 2x
|align=right| 55%
|align=right| 3
|align=right| 13
| | [[Jungle]], [[Grassland]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Can cause [[bleeding]] ?% of the time.
|-valign=top
| | Tiger, ferocious
|align=right| 25
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 6
|align=right| 15
| | [[Jungle]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Turtle
|align=right| 30
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 25%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 18
| | [[Water]], [[Beach]]
| |
|-valign=top
| | Wild boar
|align=right| 15
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 30%
|align=right| 2
|align=right| 10
| | [[Jungle]], [[Grassland]]
| | Aggressive; attacks unprovoked. Has been seen in fresh water.
|}
Notes:
* "Frequency" is the number of times an animal attacks in a half-hour period.
* "Accuracy" is the animal's apparent attack accuracy rounded to the nearest 5%. This is lower when the target has ''[[animal affinity]]''. (See [[Talk:Animals|the talk page]] for tabled statistics.)
* "Damage" is the damage dealt by one of the animal's attacks.

When you attack an animal you receive [[XP]] equal to the damage listed for the weapon you used. Killing an animal yields an additional bonus of (5 + ''max HP'') / 2, rounded up, as listed in the "XP Bonus" column. (For example, if a monkey has 1 [[HP]] remaining when you kill it with a machete that deals 3 HP of damage, your action gives you 3 XP for the damage and 8 for the kill, totaling 11.)

== Players attacking animals ==
Attacking animals is a great source of [[experience points]] for new arrivals to the island, though when lacking any combat skills it is hard even to kill a parrot! It is also done for sport by some, such as the [[Shartak Tiger Hunters]], and the various adventurers who sought or seek the legendary giant squids. Many players use their first several hundred [[action points]] doing little except seeking out and attacking animals, so that they may gain enough experience--and thus skills--to do other things effectively. Beware on the hunt, though, as all animals have been known to defend themselves, and some can tear you apart or stomp you to death very quickly.

When hunting, be sure to take plenty of [[medical supplies]] or bottles of special Shartak-bottled [[water]], which has amazing healing power. Also be sure to pick up several [[machete]]s or [[cutlass]]es, or a [[heavy sword]] if you can find one, as these are the best weapons against animals. Do not attack with your hands, or you will be sorry, especially against large animals! When punching an elephant, a large stag, or a tiger, special messages may display:

* ''You attack the elephant and miss. Suddenly attacking the elephant with your bare hands doesn't seem so clever!''
* ''You attack the elephant and miss. Pausing a moment to reflect on this, tackling the elephant with your bare hands might be considered crazy!''

== Special animals ==
The world of Shartak has many surprises. Strange and mysterious animals occasionally show up and scare or delight the inhabitants of the island. Easter bunnies have been known to make appearances in the Easter season, as have fearsome and powerful rampaging giant-squids who have been known to crawl on land to attack "prey" (i.e., us). During the Halloween season, animals do not die but rather become "zombified" upon death. When killing a zombified animal, the text read: ''You attack the zombified (insert animal here) for X damage. It dies. To your horror, the corpse of the zombified (insert animal here) gets back up and carries on with what it was doing... attacking you!''. All zombified animals have the same stats as the normal versions.

Below is a table of all visible, seasonal animals found to date.

{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" style="background-color: #f9f9f9; border: solid 1px #ccc; border-collapse: collapse" |
|-align="left" bgcolor="#0095B6" valign="top"
! Animal !! Max HP !! Frequency !! Accuracy !! Damage !! XP Bonus !! Location !! Notes
|-valign=top
| | Easter Bunny
|align=right| 30 or 50
|align=right| 1x
|align=right| 60%
|align=right| 4
|align=right| 28
| | [[Grassland]], [[Jungle]]
| |16 april 2006- first appearance,30hp but could be healed to 50hp

april 2008- 50hp, healing gives twice xp

2 april 2010- 50hp damage:4 high accuracy

|-valign=top
| | Werewolf
|align=right| 50
|align=right| ?
|align=right| ?
|align=right| 3
|align=right| ?
| | [[Camps]] (?)
| | Their first appearance is unknown. They appeared again during Halloween in 2007. Very soon, they were hunted to extinction.
|}
Notes:
* "Frequency" is the number of times an animal attacks in a half-hour period.
* "Accuracy" is the animal's apparent attack accuracy rounded to the nearest 5%. This is lower when the target has ''[[animal affinity]]''. (See [[Talk:Animals|the talk page]] for tabled statistics.)
* "Damage" is the damage dealt by one of the animal's attacks.

For special characters that may or may not be considered animals, such as elves or Santa, see [[Special characters]].

== Concealed animals ==
'''Sharks''' reside in the deep water off the coasts of Shartak. They cannot be seen or attacked, as they lurk below the surface out of sight. They are particularly aggressive and often attack people swimming in the deep water. A shark attack deals 2 HP damage, and the resulting wounds deal 1 HP damage per action (not per AP) until the player [[Death|dies]] or is healed with a [[first aid kit]] or [[healing herb]]. Once a player is bitten, they will see "You are bleeding" below their map next to their name until they are healed or die. The effects of shark wounds are not cumulative. Research suggests that there is a 25% probability of a shark attack in deep water: a zero percent probability of shark attack in shallow water.

'''Poisonous snakes''' cannot be seen or attacked. A character who is searching [[grassland]]s can capture a poisonous snake, which then appears in [[inventory]]. Rumour has it that poison darts may be able to be manufactured from snakes, but this knowledge has apparently been lost to the natives. Perhaps one day native shamans will re-discover this magic. Searching the grasslands can also cause you to get bitten by a snake for 3 HP damage (the snake then slithers away), which poisons you.

'''Crabs''' cannot be seen or attacked. A character who is searching [[beach]]es can capture a crab--which then appears in character's inventory--or the character can be pinched by one for 1 HP in damage. ("Searching the area, you find a crab. It nips your finger with its claws and scuttles away".) Thus far, no one on Shartak has discovered how to use a crab, though the traders may know something we do not, as they pay a fair amount of gold for live crabs.

[[Category:Glossary]]

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2010-04-05T19:10:21Z

Twist: Updated Lowersex FC-supporting scum

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=buzzmong buzzmong]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Swarm Swarm]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Getsome_Food Getsome Food]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Keiichi Keiichi]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Ice_Pack Ice Pack]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Noir_Rouge Noir Rouge]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

XP

2010-03-26T20:56:54Z

Twist: Updated kill bonuses not applying to characters from home camp

'''Experience points''' ('''XP''') are earned by players through various actions and are used to buy [[skills]]. A new character must spend 100 XP on their first skill; each successive skill costs 25 XP more.

== Gaining XP ==

=== Combat ===
When attacking, characters receive XP equal to weapon damage for each successful hit. XP awarded is equal to full weapon damage even when then target has just 1 HP.

All XP awards are halved for attacks on players on the same [[Character classes|side]]. There is no XP award for attacks on [[NPC]] [[trader]]s.

==== Kill bonuses ====
When a target dies, the character dealing the killing blow receives a bonus XP award of ''(5 + target's maximum HP) / 2'', rounded up. (See [[animals]] for bonuses for killing animals, which do not always follow this formula.) There is no bonus for killing characters from your home camp, or for killing NPC traders.

=== Healing ===
Applying a healing [[Items|item]] to yourself, another player, an animal, or an NPC gives you XP equal to the number of [[Gameplay#Hit Points|HP]] healed. For example, if you use a first-aid kit to heal 1 HP, you gain only 1 XP. Eating tasty berries gives up to 2 XP, mangos and bananas give 1 XP (to players without full health), and so on. Similarly, a character with ''[[first aid]]'' or ''[[natural medicine]]'' can earn up to 10 XP using a first aid kit or healing herbs.

=== Poisoning ===
Eating a poisonous berries inflicts 2 HP of damage while giving you 2 XP. Drinking a bottle or gourd of salt water likewise causes 2 HP damage for 2 XP. A player with 1 HP who eats poison berries is awarded no XP. There is no XP bonus for killing yourself.

=== Exploring ===
There is an occasional 1 XP award when chopping jungle (of any density). Revealing a hut by chopping down vegetation yields 10 XP. Revealing a food source (a bush or a fruit tree) by chopping vegetation yields a 5 XP reward. (See [[Special weapon event odds]] for research on the matter.)

=== Haunting ===
Spirits can gain XP by using spirit scream [[skills]]. XP gained is tied to the level of the haunting skill and the number of listeners (alive playable characters) in an area.

*''[[Haunting scream]]''
**Yields 1-2 XP for 2 AP when one listener is present.
**Yields 2 XP for 2 AP when two or more listeners are present.
*''[[Shocking shriek]]''
**Potentially damages listener(s) for 2 damage.
**Damage dealt equals XP gained. Spirits recieve a kill bonus when a victim dies of fright. More research regarding this skill is needed.
*''[[Banshee wail]]''
**Potentially damages listener(s) for 4 damage.
**Uses 2 AP when one listener is present.
**Uses 4 AP when two listeners are present.
**Uses 6 AP when three or more listeners are present.
**Damage dealt equals XP gained. Spirits receive a kill bonus when a victim dies of fright.

=== Trading ===
Whenever a [[trader]]'s stock of an item is short, a player who [[trade]]s them that item will receive 1 XP. The first time you trade anything with a trader who is happy to see you (even the one in your hometown) you gain an additional one-off bonus of 100XP.

*A bit of minor elaboration: With every first item traded to a trader in a settlement (other than your hometown after the first time), you receive 100 XP. This bonus can be repeated any number of times through trading in another settlement.

=== Shamanism ===
Shamen possess a handful of spirit-oriented skills for use at their discretion. However, the relatively modest XP gain from using these skills makes them more suitable for support.
*''[[Exorcism]]''
**Exorcism gives 5 XP per spirit exorcised. An unsuccessful exorcism ritual takes 1 AP, but a successful one takes 4 AP, regardless of the number of spirits exorcised. May not always be successful when used.
*''[[Spirit Summoning]]''
**A shaman successfully invoking spirits receives 2 XP per spirit. Invocation uses 5 AP, regardless of the number of spirits that are summoned. May not always be successful when used.
*''[[Malevolence]]''
**Shaman torments spirit(s) causing them to haunt and recieves 2-5 XP depending on number of listeners and number of spirits present.

[[Category:Glossary]]

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2010-02-01T23:01:21Z

Twist: Updated Lowersex FC-supporting bastards

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Swarm Swarm]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Getsome_Food Getsome Food]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Keiichi Keiichi]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Ice_Pack Ice Pack]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Noir_Rouge Noir Rouge]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

Lowersex

2010-01-15T21:50:14Z

Twist: Redirecting to Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

#REDIRECT [[Botheringham FC Supporters' Club]]

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2009-11-03T19:07:06Z

Twist: Updated suspected Lowersex FC supporters

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Getsome_Food Getsome Food]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Keiichi Keiichi]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Ice_Pack Ice Pack]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Noir_Rouge Noir Rouge]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2009-08-04T18:55:38Z

Twist: /* Lowersex FC */

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Keiichi Keiichi]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Ice_Pack Ice Pack]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Noir_Rouge Noir Rouge]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2009-07-05T20:31:26Z

Twist: Updated Lowersex FC supporters

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Ice_Pack Ice Pack]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Noir_Rouge Noir Rouge]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

York

2009-07-03T13:48:31Z

Twist: It's the Supporters' Club Club House. Two Clubs. It's important.

{{Infobox Home|
| image = satellite_york.png
| cx = -70371
| cy = 26314
| type = Outsider
| huts = 23
| shaman = Kahuni
| shaman_gps = {{map|70|371|26|314}}
| shaman_loc = (08,08)
| trader = Harry
| trader_gps = {{map|70|367|26|313}}
| trader_loc = (12,09)
| banker = Naughty Sorceress
| bank_gps = {{map|70|368|26|314}}
| bank_loc = (11,08)
| ammo_gps = {{map|70|371|26|316}}
| ammo_loc = (08,06)
| medical_gps = {{map|70|369|26|320}}
| medical_loc = (10,02)
}}
'''York''' is one of the three [[outsider]] [[settlement]]s on Shartak. Located near the center of the island's southern shore, it consists of twenty-four [[hut]]s in an oblong clearing.

A native [[shaman]] named Kahuni is held captive in the center of the clearing and uses his mystical powers to revive York spirits.

== Map ==
{| cellspacing=1 cellpadding=8 style="background-color:#e0e0e0" |
| colspan=15 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | '''York - Territory Map'''
|-
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''M'''
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|-
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''G'''
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|-
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|H
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| bgcolor=#ee00ee|'''FC'''
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''A'''
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''S'''
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''B'''
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|-
| bgcolor=#33c033|09
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''W'''
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|H
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''T'''
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|-
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|
| bgcolor=#ff0000|'''HQ'''
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|-
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| bgcolor=#00bbff|'''LA'''
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|-
| colspan=15 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | '''Legend'''
|-
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| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Unincorporated ("Jungle")
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Village territory ("York")
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|H
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Hut (H2 represents two huts)
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''S'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Shaman (Kahuni)
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''T'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Trading post
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''A'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Ammunition hut
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''M'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Medical hut
|-
| bgcolor=#ee00ee|'''FC'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House
|-
| bgcolor=#ff0000|'''HQ'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Greater Shartak Unification Coalition Headquarters
|-
| bgcolor=#00bfff|'''LA'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | The Lacking Arms
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''B'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | S0S's Bistro
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''W'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | The Waugh Arms (historical)
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''G'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Gateway
|-
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| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Beach
|-
| bgcolor=#6666ff|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Water
|-
| bgcolor=#4444af|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Deep water
|}

Notes:
* The above is a territory map, not a map of jungle density (which constantly changes). Therefore, the jungle and village squares will very likely be colored differently in-game than they are here. However, squares within the village of York will be displayed as "York" on the game map, while jungle squares will be displayed as "Jungle".
* The numbers on the map are merely for local reference and are not related to GPS coordinates at all.

==York: A Rough Guide==

[[Image:Map of York2.jpg|left|250px|thumb|Map courtesy of York citizen [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=12147 Billfred]. '''Click to enlarge'''.]]

Frequently referred to as the 'big city' of Shartak, York is the most populous as well as the busiest, most bustling settlement on Shartak. It has a colourful and frequently bloody history, and has developed a unique culture and identity, very different in character from liberal [[Durham]] in the far west, and moderate [[Derby]] in the far east, both of which have never seen themselves invaded early on (York's central location led to early invasions, and several political disputes and outsider-vs-pirate and outsider-vs-pirate hostility have led to a series of additional invasions of York. '''See [[York#History of York|History of York]] for more'''). York historically has been more institutionally outsider-nationalist than either Derby or Durham.

York was the first town to host a full-time [[Colonial Police|police force]], and was the birthplace of the criminal [[Mercenary's Guild]] and a shadowy [[Order of Patriots|secret society]] which has been active in York affairs since the days of the first waves of pirate attacks. Many, many others groups have been significantly involved in York affairs (see partial list below).

The convoluted political situation is matched in intrigue only by the bustling social scene. At its zenith York boasted two busy taverns ([[Czechy's]], at (11,09) on the map above, and [[the Waugh Arms]] at (04,09) on the map above), as well as the island's first and most successful very-widely-read [[The Yorkman|newspaper]], and a very busy medical hut which still serves to this day as a forum for public speeches and debate, conversations, and gossip, even though words can sometimes be drowned out by incessant wailing from spirits.

In the past social development of note in York had been the proliferation of outsider religion. Several houses of worship and religious organisations had arisen in York. In the very early days a man set up a peaceable and quiet church in mid-York, not long after Derby had set up its first church. This man's voice has since been drowned out (he has apparently left the island) and in typical York fashion, religion had become radicalised in the city, with frequent religious violence. York hosted a [[Holy Mission|hardline Catholic church organisation]] and a [[Shartak Protestant League|hardline protestant church]], whose members frequently attacked one another, as well as a surprisingly moderate and agreeable [[Parchment_Pages#York_Synagogue|Jewish synagogue]] in south York. Native pagan religions such as ancestor and ghost worship are not tolerated in York.

'''Survival Tips:''' If you're just visiting, try to stay clear of the constant power struggles and not to upset any of the major groups.

== Points of interest ==
=== Medical Hut ===
Historically one of the busiest places in York, the York medical hut was a favourite haunt for healers and ghosts alike. As you can see on the map above, it is located at the far north end of York. The coordinates are [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70369&cy=26320 -70.369,+26.320]. The hut is filled with crates which contain abandoned medical supplies, which people freely take, to heal themselves, to heal others, and for [[trade monetary gain]], especially in towns without access to [[first aid kit]]s who will pay top dollar for them, the three native towns and the [[shipwreck]]). There are several doctors who have taken up permanent residence there, and many wounded people come into the medical hut to be healed. A constant problem in the hut is [[spirit]]s wailing and injuring people, but several friendly [[shaman]]s have taken up the job of keeping it free of ghosts. Renegades who murder these friendly pro-York shamans are generally hated by all.

The Medical Supplies Hut also serves as a major platform for public speeches, debates, and is the main centre in York for conversation and gossip, owing to its large population.

=== Trader Harry's ===
The trading hut in York, located at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70367&cy=26313 -70.367,+26.313]. Frequently out of necessary supplies, and owned by a crooked trader who is known to cheat customers. Harry uses his profits from selling inferior goods at inflated prices to advertise fairly often in [[The Yorkman]], and in purchasing new guard dogs. Customers angry at being ripped off or at Harry being out of stock of most items often kill the guard dog to express their anger.

=== The Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House ===
Located 1NE of the Weapons Hut, the Club House is easily identified by the pink-and-purple scarf hanging above the entrance, and the pungent aroma of Scampi Fries wafting downwind.

Formerly the site of the now-infamous [[Pwotters]]' HQ, this hut was fully refurbished inside and out when the lease was purchased by the Director of the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club in late December 2008. Although both the Kingdom of Skulls Throne Room and the settlement of Port Breton had previously undergone minor modifications, this was a revolutionary event in the island's real estate market, and will no doubt pave the way for all manner of cheap imitations.

=== Greater Shartak Unification Coalition Headquarters ===
Located on the territory map at (10,09), the GSUC headquarters serves as a rendezvous point for high-ranking GSUC officials, where briefing for anti-native campaigns takes place.

=== The Lacking Arms ===
Located 1SE from the GSUC headquarters, the Lacking Arms is York's fastest-growing sole proprietorship in the public house industry. Owned by Merchant of Death, patrons are warned not to binge on fungi-based beverages or risk a dreadful colloquial "fungover".

== Historical Sites ==

=== [[CzEcHy's Tavern]] ===
Directly west of the Trader's hut, located at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70368&cy=26313 -70.368,+26.313] is the astoundingly wonderful Tavern owned by {{profile|1603|czech1}}. Feel free to drop by and spend a night or two in safety. Whether you're a pirate, a native, or an elusive murderer wanted by all, you're still welcome at the tavern (as long as you dont kill anyone inside.) Usually quite busy. Czechy's was the site of the miraculous [[York Christmas Truce|Christmas Truce]].

UPDATE: Due to the popularity of the Tavern and the increasing demand for quality home-cooked food, CzEcHy's has expanded into the property to the north of the tavern. CzEcHy's Bistro and Grillbar will cater for all your culinary delights and we offer specials that are not listed on the 'a la carte' menu - just look for the "Daily Specials" board. Our Egon Ronay-recognised chef, Mr. S0S, will also do his best to cater for any 'off-the-menu' requests.

Dress code is smart-casual, with or without nose-bones. Shrunken heads are not permitted although these may be left in our cloakroom for later collection. Bon appetite!

=== [[The Waugh Arms]] ===
West-southwest of the York shaman at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70374&cy=26313 -70.374,+26.313], on the site of the former Colonial Police Headquarters, visitors to York will find the recently-opened [[The Waugh Arms|Waugh Arms]]. All are warmly invited to stop by and enjoy the pleasures of fine food and drink, and of course enjoy the legendary hospitality of the Waugh Arms.

== Colonial Police Museum ==
Currently under construction is the Colonial Police Museum where exhibitions will include a Wall of Fame for previous leaders and officers, a Most Wanted list dating back to the First War and several weapons used by leaders and officers themselves.

==Groups Operating in York==
Due to its population, centrality, politics, and various other factors, many groups have claimed York as their hometown or have been active in York politics in the past and present. What follows is a list of groups who have been active in the affairs of York.
===Active===
*[[1st Colonial Militia]]
*[[Civilized Highway Society]]
*[[Defender Corps of York]]
*[[Durham Utility]]
*[[Exotic Sports Hunting Club]]
*[[Greater Shartak Unification Coalition]]
*[[Order of Patriots]]
*[[Pwotters|Pwotters!]]
*[[Royal Expedition]]
*[[South Shartak Trading Company]]
*[[The Undertakers]]

===Defunct or inactive===
*[[5punk.co.uk]]
*[[Colonial Police]]
*[[Shartak Anti-Communists]]
*[[Shartak Cryptozoological Society]]
*[[Shartak Protestant League]]
*[[The Holy Mission]]
*[[The Pirate Hunters]]
*[[York Pirate Slayers]]

== History of York ==
York history is defined principally by two things. One: constant invasion by hostile forces, and two: the rallying of local groups, fighting off the invaders, and the hardening of domestic opinion (both "civilian and York groups") in a nationalistic direction. (this cycle tends to repeat, as nationalistic sentiment then angers some implacable elements of the Shartak population, who thus come into conflict with York and eventually decide to invade).

In the very beginning of the colonisation effort, York was a small outpost with a tiny population, without even a trader (though [[Kahuni]] himself was captured very early on). Slowly as things began to grow, the town developed its own identity, and has played a central role in Shartak politics ever since, serving as a lightning rod for various power-hungry groups and individuals.

The [[First Battle of York]] or "First Invasion", is the name given to a series of native attacks on York from quite early in the colonisation effort. Natives started descending on York after word began spreading in the native settlements of the presence of large numbers of outsiders at this location. The attacks by natives were uncoordinated, but large scale violence by natives lasted approximately from March to April 2006. The [[Colonial Police]] formed in York during this period in reaction to the violence. York's population was low at the time, and only a very few around today can even still remember the 'First Invasion'. See full article '''[[First Battle of York]]''' for more.

Somewhat overlapping was the also-vaguely-defined [[Second Battle of York]] or "Second Invasion". This is the name given to the "pirate invasion" of April-May 2006 in which dozens of unaligned pirates came south independently to attack York and victimise the populace, after directions to York were posted at the shipwreck. The tremendous pirate-on-outsider violence during this period was supposedly the original impetus for anti-piratism in York, and it is during this period that the OoP was founded (Order Of Patriots). The initial pirate invasion was extraordinarily politically significant for the settlement. Thereafter, numerous York groups and individuals began taking to killing all pirates and "pirate sympathisers" that they see in York, on sight. See full article '''[[Second Battle of York]]''' for more.

The period between the end of the Second Invasion and the start of the Third Invasion is an often-forgotten period in York history, but is very significant. During this period, York was coming into its own, and its politics were up in the air. There was very strong nationalist and anti-pirate agitation by the Order of Patriots and others, but this was certainly just one of many political movements. These numerous diverse social and political currents were pulling York in all directions. In other words, the situation in York resembled somewhat the current confused situation in Durham (as of this printing). The Yorkman newspaper was founded during this period, and the Colonial Police came into their own during this inter-Invasion period, and at that time took no firm stances in York politics. They opposed the growing anti-pirate radicalism of the population because it meant attacks on many innocent pirates, not because they were political opponents of that movement, as they were apolitical. The CP were off-and-on enemies of the Order. With the shock departure of CP-founder MickR towards the very end of this inter-Invasion period, it looked like things would remain this way. But this all changed and York as a whole was swept into the arms of the nationalist anti-pirate radicals as a result a very serious crisis of the...

[[Third Battle of York]], or, the "First MG Invasion". The "[[Mercenary's Guild]]" invaded and began a general wave of violence in York starting September 20th 2006 (their withdrawal occurred on October 15th 2006), in which they killed dozens of innocent York citizens at random in an attempt to show strength and in a failed attempt to destroy the [[Order of Patriots]]. This battle rallied the York groups around a common cause, and thus had a long-lasting effect on York politics. It helped to harden York nationalism. The MG was eventually beaten back and withdrew, leaving the Order intact. The Colonial Police and many unaligned citizens took to defending the city from invasion during this MG massacre, and when the smoke cleared the Colonial Police, formerly enemies if the Order and apolitical, had become strong allies and finally fully enmeshed in York politics. Lingering bitterness and tensions between York (especially the Colonial Police) and the '[[MG gang]]', temporarily set aside for more than two weeks during and after the [[York Christmas Truce|Great Christmas Truce]], led to the resumption of hostilities on January 20th 2007 in what was soon called...

The [[Fourth Battle of York]], or the "Second MG Invasion". This one became the largest battle in Shartak history, with anti-York and anti-outsider groups from across the land joining forces to attack York. The "York Alliance" of pro-York groups eventually claimed victory after the invaders were driven back.

On the morning of June 7, 2007, York was hit by an invasion of a different kind: mysterious signposts saying "WILLIES!" appeared throughout the town. Much mystery surrounds this incident, which has since become known simply as the "[[WILLIES!]]".

From April through late-Summer 2008, the [[Necromancers Guild]] raided the York medical hut on multiple occasions through the use of disembodied spirits and unholy magics. Although no long-lasting impact by the Necromancers was made on York ground, their tactics proved innovative and brutally effective nonetheless. During this period of violence the [[Criminal Fraternity of York]] was founded by the rogue Freedom in an attempt to rid York of its authoritarian police forces.

In late October 2008, the [[Greater Shartak Unification Coalition]] was founded by the York patriots [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=12130 De La Coiffe] and [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=13748 Bahl]. The GSUC quickly took charge of York with the aid of the [[1st Colonial Militia]], [[Defender Corps of York]], and [[Order of Patriots]], forming the [[Greater York Federation]] and began its conquest of Shartak by raiding [[Wiksik]] and the surrounding native villages. Island-wide carnage continued throughout the territories of the [[Kingdom of Skulls]], [[Greater Raktam]], and York. In December on the Durham peninsula, the [[Durham Ruins]] complex formerly inhabited by the [[Independent Republic of Fort Creedy]] was annexed by GSUC forces, and converted into a protectorate of York with the new title of [[Great Southall]]. Guerrilla warfare between Creedy and Southall forces culminated in Durham-based GSUC members outlasting the insurgents and Creedy forces scattering from the battlefield. The GSUC simultaneously claimed [[Bristol Yards]] and [[Chastity]] as additional protectorates of York.

From Spring through early-Summer 2009, The Greater York Federation hosted a series of native-slaughtering contests, notably [[Native Awareness Month]] and the [[York Triple Crown]]. Hundreds of natives were killed during these campaigns, all in the name of glory and nationalist pride.

{{Locationsnav}}
[[Category:Locations]]

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2009-06-17T15:26:27Z

Twist: /* Lowersex FC */

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Keiichi Keiichi]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Ice_Pack Ice Pack]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club

2009-06-09T10:00:23Z

Twist: Added suspected Lowersex supporters

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
clan_image=[[Image:Bovclan.png|300px]]|
official_id=416|
open_to=everyone|
clan_leaders={{profile|15031|Twist}}|
clan_membership=A sell-out crowd|
clan_goals=Supporting the Mighty Bov's|
clan_recruit=Wear the pink-and-purple with pride|
clan_contact=Any fellow Botherer|
sort_as=Botheringham FC Supporters' Club|
}}

"Coooooooooome ooooonnnnn yooooouuuuu Boooooooooov's!"

== Introduction ==
Inroduction? I hardly think the greatest damn team in the whole damn South-East Division needs any introduction.

== The Supporters' Club ==
The now-infamous [[Pwotters]] first brought word of the mighty Bov's to Shartak, but their - entirely undeserved - reputation may have dissuaded some otherwise loyal fans from publicly supporting the GREATEST DAMN TEAM IN THE WHOLE DAMN DIVISION. In the Botheringham FC Supporters' Club, our only goal is to support our beloved Bov's, through thick and thin, wind and rain, war and pestilence. We welcome everyone who has love for the Bov's, regardless of race, clan or alleged sexual preferences. As long as you wear something pink-and-purple in either your description or your avatar, anyway.

The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club has no goals, ethos or aims, other than to support the mighty mighty Bov’s. This may be done by shouting “Go Bov’s!” in crowded huts, teaching parrots to sing rousing terrace chants such as Oh When the Bov’s Come Marching In and There’s Only One Botheringham FC, and ensuring that any [[shargle]]-molesting Lowersex FC scum are beaten savagely and mocked even more savagely.

So come along to our newly-refurbished Club House, and we can hang out, eat Scampi Fries and drink beer, and argue about whether Calvinho can actually go all the way this season and beat Bov's legend and all-time top goal scorer John Johnson's record of 56 red cards in 38 games.

===Botheringnacht===
Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex FC on July 5th 2008, Botheringham FC supporters, consisting primarily of members of the [[Pwotters]] clan, went on a celebratory outing through the streets of [[York]]. Total casualties have never been officially confirmed, but it is [http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,1413.0.html well-documented] that they included the entire population of the town, including [[Kahuni]], [[Trader]] Harry and his guard dog, and a couple of passing roaming [[shamen]]. Several names were mooted for this lighthearted social occasion, amongst them The York Riots, A Spot of Bother, Night of the Long Boners and The Night of Gale's Tiny Dong, and his Murderous Over-Compensation for Said Tiny Dong. However, it was finally decided that it should be known as Botheringnacht, and, moreover, that it was awesome.

== The Club House ==

[[Image:Bovhutint01.png]]

In late December 2008, the former [[Pwotters]]' HQ was leased out by the Director of the Supporters' Club, for an undisclosed amount, and became the first fully-customised residence on the island. Don't let those [[Kingdom of Skulls]] or [[Port Breton]] wannabes tell you any different - we've got the whole shabang. Swing by and see for yourself, we're in [[York]], 1NE of the Weapons Hut.

=== Housekeeping ===
As the undisputed No.1 Club House on Shartak, it is incumbent upon us to ensure it is kept clean and tidy, with a readily available supply of Scampi Fries and other complimentary snacks. Any bodies lying around should be made as unobtrusive as possible – and perhaps provided with a funny hat or mustache - so as to maintain an image appropriate to that of the extremely serious business of supporting the all-conquering Voles.

Should any non-Bov graffiti appear inside – probably at the hands of some Lowersex mouthbreather – the Board of Directors kindly asks that it be replaced with something along the following lines:

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A large painting fills one wall, showing the streets of York piled high with bodies, and buildings aflame. A bronze plaque below reads “Botheringnacht

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A blue-and-green shirt hangs on one wall, covered in blood and full of machete-holes. A smaller sign reads “No Lowersex Scum Allowed!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” The distinct smell of Scampi Fries lingers in the air, and above the fireplace is strung a scarf embroidered with the words “Up the Bov’s!

Botheringham FC Supporters' Club Club House” A picture hangs on the far wall, showing two men shaking hands. A pair of signatures is scrawled in the corner, reading “Calvinho” and “Goatsnelli

== Lowersex FC ==
The origins of Botheringham and Lowersex’s rivalry, and the accompanying coruscating hatred, is lost in the depths of time. However, it’s a fairly safe bet that it was all their fault, and as such the jumped-up, blue-and-green wearing chancer bastards are to be hounded without mercy and with extreme prejudice. I mean, they're only in the SE Division because Crappington FC's stadium is in a dangerous state of disrepair, thereby forfeitting their promotion chances and giving it to the Lowersex scum by default.

The following individuals have been observed to display typical Lowersex FC behaviour or pro-Lowersex sentiments, and should be shown the business end of a blunt machete at every opportunity:

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Keiichi Keiichi]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Magellan Magellan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=cpl_withers cpl withers]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Stan667 Stan667]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Paul_Bunyan Paul Bunyan]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=Claude_Duval Claude Duval]

[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?name=oktavius oktavius]

Of course, should they choose to repent of their heinous crimes against good taste and return to the pink-and-purple light, we will of course accept them with open arms.

== Terrace Chants ==
Some of the Botherers' favourite ditties are...

We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / We love you Botheringham, we do / Ooooooooooooooooooooh, Botheringham we love you!

Oh we love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We love the Bov’s and we hate Lowersex / We hate Lowersex, we do!

Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Give me Bov’s in my heart I pray! / Give me Bov’s in my heart, keep me bothering / Keep me bothering ‘til the break of day!

Oh when the Bovs / Come marching in / Oh when the Bov's come marching in / I want to be, amongst that number / Oh when the Bov's come marching in!

There's only one Botheringham FC! ONE BOTHERINGHAM FC!

== Goatsnelli and Calvinho ==
This season, the Bov’s are in an excellent position to take home both the SE Divisionship Cup and the Inter-League Championship Charity Shield, and be serious contenders for the Premier Conference Grand Tournament Toast-Rack, with the dream pairing of manager Fabio Goatsnelli and wonder-striker Calvinho.

Goatsnelli brings innovative tactics, powerful motivational techniques, and an almost superhuman ability to walk the thin line between libellous slander of opposing managers and ‘psychological manoeuvring.’ Calvinho combines technical genius with casual, sickening brutality, to create a nigh-on unstoppable goal-scoring/player-maiming machine. Although controversy surrounds these two giants-amongst-men like a cloud of flies surrounds a dirty, stinking Lowersex fan, they show no signs of slowing in their implacable march towards victory and legend. Go Bov’s!

== Latest Results ==

=== Botheringham FC vs. Botherington FC ===
28/04/09 – Botheringham FC ?? - ?? Botherington FC

Unlike the traditional derby match, Botheringhamshire’s two preeminent clubs share a long and ambivalent history, and so the games are not marred by the typical rivalry, aggression and attempted murder so common at these events. In fact, following the First Great Stadium Disaster of ’99, when a poorly-mixed Molabov™ Cocktail resulted in Botheringham’s Vole Park being reduced to ashes, Botherington fans turned out in their dozens to help with the rebuilding. Similarly, when a Botheringham secretary mixed up the address labels and sent a consignment of letter bombs to Botherington supporters’ houses instead of Lowersex, Bov’s fans opened their doors to those left homeless and/or maimed, in an inspirational show of collective guilt.

And so it was that when the pink-and-purples met the purple-and-pinks, both players and supporters were having such a good time at Vole Park, sharing their packed lunches and flasks of tea, looking at each other’s holiday photos, and swapping amusing anecdotes about their children, that no-one actually noticed the final score at the whistle. However, when the managers, players and Supporters’ Club Directors got together to discuss the issue, Botherington said Botheringham could have the win, as a thanks for providing such a jolly good day out for all the fans.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Twaddlethorpe United ===
12/04/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 13 Twaddlethorpe United

The Bov's suffered another set-back in their race for the South Eastern Divisionship title, after what can only be described as a thrashing by Twaddlethorpe United. The problems came from Twaddlethorpe's surprise signing of Smiths' Scampi Fries Player of the Year 2009½ Jean Thierry Jeanfils half an hour before the match, who came on to score all 13 of Twaddlethorpe's goals.

The Voles' defenders put in a fantastic performance, resulting in all four being sent off before the final whistle, but it was not enough to stop the brilliant Jeanfils. It wasn't until Calvinho's magnificent 10-yard, two-footed tackle broke Jeanfils' crotch that the Bov's could salve their wounded pride somewhat and claim their three goals.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC ===
11/03/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 12 Uppersbottom Town - 14 Farthingsworth FC

This week, the Voles’ found themselves in the unenviable position of having to play against two teams at the same time after a mix-up with the fixtures, and suffered a crushing defeat at the combined hands of Uppersbottom Town and Farthingsworth FC.

Prior to the match, manager Fabio Goatsnelli protested at this previously unheard of situation. It was pointed out that had the Botheringham FC Board of Directors not hired a friend of one of their mates’ girlfriends to reposition all the road signs for 30 miles in every direction from Botheringhamshire, and send the Uppersbottom team coach over a cliff and into an abandoned quarry, the original match could have gone ahead as planned.

=== Botheringham FC vs. West Eastington ===
26/02/09 - Botheringham FC 3 - 2 West Eastington

Following a month-long absence from the league – due to the entire squad disappearing into Bangkok’s red-light district for several weeks after a friendly against Dik Tuk United – the Bov’s have come back with a solid result away to newcomers West Eastington.

The Voles’ goalkeeper, Roger Ruffly, was awarded Man of the Match and presented with the match ball, after the bloodstains were cleaned off and embedded teeth removed. The referee commented that it was the first time he had ever seen a man continue to play with two broken legs, let alone score a hat-trick.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Dangleton Wanderers ===
27/01/09 - Botheringham FC 4 - 1 Dangleton Wanderers

The Bov's celebrated a well-deserved four-one win over league placeholders Dangleton yesterday, in a textbook display of sharp passing, excellent ball-control, and well-balanced offensive/defensive tactics. The usual thuggery and foul play that we have seen in recent games was conspicuous by its absence, replaced by a focus on technical football with a healthy dash of innovation.

Thirty seconds after the final whistle, player-manager Frank Franklin was handed a petition, signed by every fan present at the match, calling for his resignation with immediate effect and his last three months' wages to be docked in lieu of being horsewhipped to death.

=== Botheringham FC vs. Tuggerford City ===
08/01/09 - Botheringham FC 0 - 34 Tuggerford City

Despite the match ending in a disappointing score, the Bov's claimed the moral victory, if not an actual victory on the pitch, due to Tuggerford City's stadium being condemned for demolition and the area in a three-mile radius placed under armed quarantine, following our supporters' vigourous protests at the sending off of the entire Botheringham squad in the first five minutes of the match.

The majority of Tuggerford's goals were 'scored' by their keeper, after it was judged that his deathgrip on the ball meant a goal was scored everytime he was kicked backwards and forwards across Botheringham's goal line. Go Bov's!

== Merchandise and Apparel ==
No self respecting Botherer would be seen dead without the latest season's kit, so get yourself pink-and-purpled up at the [http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham team store...] Well go on. What are you, some sort of Lowersex-supporting bastard?

== Disclaimer ==
The Botheringham FC Supporters’ Club Board of Directors accepts no liability for any acts of vandalism, hooliganism, sexual harrassment or genocide carried out by Club members. It’s all just high spirits, anyway. Botheringnacht, you say? They started it.

The Art Of Necromancy On Shartak Island

2009-06-06T17:57:58Z

Twist: Returned to the Queen's English, as it should be

[[Category: Roleplaying]]

=== Introduction ===

Greetings to you who would follow this often avoided path. A warning from the wise, this path is not one easily travelled and in the past has often lead to persecution and violence against the practitioner. It also brings one into contact with the undead, not all of whom are benign. Yet this great art is not without reward, for mastery will gift one with near godlike powers and great riches...

With these warnings and incentives aside let us begin.

----

=== Tools Of The Trade ===

In this, our initial chapter, we will see some of the most basic tools a necromancer may carry. Namely their attire, for appearance is important in any art, and armament, which is vital for any magus dealing with death.

'''Attire'''

Most necromancers are traditionally garbed in black robes. Sometimes there is a bone motif but this seems to be optional. Tattered robes are also acceptable, though only for a necromancer on the run. Sometimes the guise of a beggar can be helpful for one of our craft, indeed a beggar sleeping in a crypt is not as uncommon as one thinks. On this island however there is another vital item that a necromancer should carry, a silver skull cross. It will protect a necromancer from vengeful spirits seeking to possess them. Below is a small example of typical necromancer attire.

''"The figure before you is shrouded in black robes. Their face is unseen but the dead around you whisper uneasily at their entrance"''

'''Armament'''

A necromancer is usually depicted as carrying a dagger, and while this is useful for an urban practitioner I find that twin machetes are much better for the necromancer on the move. Kills made with a dagger can be made into ceremonial killings via the following incantation:

''"/me plunges the dagger into the heart of X and then moves the dagger through the surrounding flesh carving out a (symbol of choice) into their chest"''

----

=== The Establishing And Running Of Lairs ===

When you have your basic tools of the trade to hand you will need to consider a lair. In history most necromancers prefer villages for the ready supply of spirits. However in this chapter we will discuss three alternatives as well as the traditional village. We will also discuss essential supplies for a lair and, Asmodeus forfend, abandoning your lair and taking flight.

'''Lairs'''

'''Wilderness'''

A wandering necromancer is hard to find and generally safe from his/her enemies. However it can make them hard to find by their spirits and other allies as well. Supreme coordination will be required to make ones lair in the island’s Jungle

'''Ruins'''

An interior hub far away from civilisation. Safer then making ones home in a village but more dangerous then the jungle. Ideally a necromancer should keep many followers around the ruin complex. This set-up is perfect for a novice as supplies can be found in the jungle or from wandering traders but it is generally far enough out to avoid persecution

'''Village Hut'''

Ideal for meeting people and spirits this lair will also be VERY easy to find and attack. It is probably best for necromancers under cover or those who wish to make a statement of power. Spirits in a village are plentiful but sadly so are exorcists.

'''Tunnels'''

An interesting choice filled with hostile wildlife. They provide safety when hiding from those would persecute you and also provide the means for a Necromancer to survive (on a very frugal lifestyle of course). Any necromancer seeking to settle in the tunnels would be well advised to bring many healing herbs for trade will be nearly none existent and minions will have to fetch supplies.

'''Essential Supplies'''

So you have picked your location. No doubt it is adequate to your needs, however should you need to leave in a hurry there are certain supplies that should be close to hand. With these supplies you can travel lightly and be away before your enemies can find you.

*10+ healing herbs

*1 backpack

*1 monkey claw charm

*10 bottles/gourds of fungi juice

*1 silver skull cross.

It is also worth noting that if a necromancer intends to settle in a lair for an extended period (greater then 2 weeks) then a larger supply of herbs and fungi juice is recommended.

'''Taking Flight'''

Killed a few too many people with your spells, the mob out for blood with pitchforks and torches? Well here is how to make it all better and how to (hopefully) keep your hide. Begin by being prepared; make sure you keep the minimum supplies listed above. Make sure to stick to less dense jungle (less than D7) to maximise your escape potential. Zigzag and change direction often to avoid skilled trackers, making certain to avoid major roads. Have your minions “discourage” pursuit by providing distractions such as possession and wailing.

----

=== Arcane Formulae For The Interaction And Manipulation Of The Dead ===

Within this chapter we shall explore basic necromantic incantations, it is notable that only a Shaman may learn all of these talents and thus make the perfect candidates for Necromancers. Below are the six basic spells:

*Sixth Sense

*Psychic Recognition

*Seance

*Exorcism

*Spirit Summoning

*Malevolence

These 6 skills are the ones any budding necromancer must master if they hope to amount to any real position in the craft. Already many will turn away since they do not possess the ability to learn these arts. Now for more details on each of these powerful talents;

'''Sixth Sense'''

The art of seeing and hearing the dead. With this skill you may already exert a minor influence on the dead by listening to them and offering them targets.

While there is no gain for you in terms of power there is a good chance that the spirits whom you aid will be well disposed towards you later on when you can more directly utilise their powers. It is important to note that one must speak the language of the spirit in most cases to be able to understand them and as such these skills are vital for one who seeks to coerce spirits into aiding them.

'''Psychic Recognition'''

The dead are hard to identify but it is not impossible. With this skill one can put a name to a spirit and learn more about them and their abilities should the spirit take any action. Should a spirit make contact and should you wish to ally with them adding them to your contacts tome is much advised.

There are several types of spirits and these will be covered later in more detail so that they may be better used to further your cause.

'''Seance'''

This spell allows a small group of practitioners to identify every spirit in the area without having to wait for the spirits to act. It is very useful in uncovering spirit spies and spirits that mean a practitioner harm. The cost to the practitioner’s stamina is minimal (5ap) and is well worth it for there is no other way to identify spirits not within your contact tome. This skill requires another person to be present to channel the spirit’s name.

'''Exorcism'''

An art used to counter all necromantic spells and your main defence against other practitioners. This spell purges the location of all spirits and scatters them throughout the ether. This spell is a certain way to earn the ire of every spirit, some spirits refuse to even consider aiding one who uses this spell too often. However in the right circumstances it can save many lives and as such is an art to be used with caution, for a necromancer without willing spirits is almost completely powerless. Its cost to a practitioner's health is minimal (4ap) and as such it can be used easily.

'''Spirit Summoning'''

A spell much used by those of our craft, this spell summons spirits from the surrounding location for a minor cost to a practitioner's stamina (5ap).

Its range is unknown at the time of writing but is expected to be reasonable (10 squares max). It is also known that this spell can sometimes fail (50% of the time at current estimate at maximum range) and result in no spirits being summoned. However it is possible to summon every spirit in the area and unleash hell when combined with the malevolence spell. It is worth nothing that many spirits disdain being summoned without their permission and may take offence at the practitioner's presumption.

'''Re-animation'''

Often considered the most powerful of all spells until its true nature is understood. The elder gods of shartak, whomever they may be, long ago declared that a body cannot be re-animated to cause harm to the living. So while it is possible to create your own manservant it is quite impossible to get them to do anything harmful to others without much difficulty.

To begin one must first speak the following incantation, note that the parts in brackets are optional.

''"/me reanimates the corpse (of X)"''

To give your minion an instruction one then must utter:

''"/me orders the zombie (of X) to"''

To end the spell one must simply enter this final incantation:

''"/me releases the zombie (of X) from the spell and watches as the corpse falls lifelessly to the ground"''

These incantations can be modified of course, however this is the most effective form I have found. Making zombies chop firewood, while more traditional, can be rather dull. Be creative and see how far you can push a corpse's limits! Make it wander around, make it attack someone (raise it and attack with the blunt weapon of your choice and then use "/me orders the zombie to strike at X" before each attack), make it do a little dance with flowers in its hair for all I care!

'''Locust Cloud'''

A simple spell requiring one spirit and your legs. It will allow the caster to vanish in a cloud of locusts and cause minor damage to all surrounding the caster.

To cast simply make sure a spirit is present, cast malevolence and utter the following incantation:

''"/me vanishes in a cloud of locusts"''

This spell is simple and effective, it may also be used as an entrance by using the following modified incantations:

''"/me enters the room as a swarm of locusts which gather together into a dark pillar"''

''"/me steps out of the dark pillar as it vanishes"''

As can be seen this kind of spell is very versatile, it need not be locusts. It need not be just one spirit. Again, take the initiative and see what you can do.

----

=== Your Allies, The Undead ===

There are many varieties of undead and this text will now explain them and their powers to the practitioner.

A '' '''Shadow''' '' is a spirit without any skills, it is harmless and drifts around aimlessly. It cannot talk but it can listen. They make for ideal spies, especially if they are later revived to report to their master.

A '' '''Whisper''' '' is a spirit with the Ghostly Whisper skill, it may speak but is otherwise the same as a shadow. They also make good spies as they can report even while dead.

The '' '''Shade''' '' is a spirit with the Haunting Scream skill and is the first of the undead capable of harming the living. The perfect spirit for novices of the craft in other words. They cause little harm and are generally less jaded then older spirits.

The '' '''Spectre''' '' is a spirit with the Shocking Shriek skill, they may cause more harm to the living than shades and are not as loud in their attacks. They are also useful to a novice for their attacks are heard over a much smaller distance and generally are more effective.

The '' '''Banshee''' '' is a spirit with the Banshee wail skill, they may cause much harm to the living and, as such, must be handled with care. Only masters of the craft should be comfortable with controlling such spirits as they are wont to unleash their rage in random bursts.

The '' '''Poltergeist''' '' is a spirit with the Possession skill, it is notable that they may also be able to wail like the banshee and should be handled with the same care. Usually hey are tricksters and will take any opportunity to make a fool of you. Luckily your silver skull cross will protect you from their jokes.

The '' '''Wraith''' '' is a spirit with the Forceful Possession skill, they are death incarnate for those unable to defend themselves and should only be bothered by masters of the craft. The angering of such spirits will lead to death, maybe not instantly but eventually.

----

=== The Talents Of The Undead ===

This chapter explores the talents of your undead allies, quite a useful thing to know if you find yourself struck down in your lair with a full host of ghostly minions at the ready.

*Ghostly Whisper

*Haunting Scream

*Shocking Shriek

*Banshee Wail

*Possession

*Forceful Possession

'''Ghostly Whisper'''

Allows a ghost to communicate with the living, while seemingly a minor skill it can be used to great effect in planning attacks on your foes. A weak spirit is often ignored and as such can see much of what goes on in a building. Correct use of spirits with this skill can lead to devastating strikes with your more powerful companions.

'''Haunting Scream'''

This skill does little damage to the living (1) but alerts other spirits as well as those of sixth sense of the spirits approximate location. Again a skill that if used well can act as a signal to your more powerful ghosts. It is notable at this point to mention that organising the undead can be tricky around exorcists and is better done at a distance (15 away from the target) from them.

'''Shocking Shriek'''

A ghost with this skill can cause double the damage of one using Haunting Scream (2). It need not be said that these spirits are useful in attacks and are valuable allies if bound correctly. Spirits are individual entities with individual agendas, remember this and make sure you take it into account when dealing with them.

'''Banshee Wail'''

A spirit possessing this skill is a mighty ally indeed. Capable of inflicting considerable damage (4) on everyone in the area they are your most powerful attack spirits for large groups. Their cries will still the living quickly, a practitioner is advised to carry healing herbs if they intend to use these vicious entities in their spells. The effort varies with the number of people in the local area (2ap for 1, 4ap for 2, 6ap for 3+)

'''Possession'''
A skill used by the more playful spirits or those seeking to get a message across to the living. One possessed by a ghost will act strangely and should be avoided unless the ghost is acting on your orders. It takes a minor amount of effort for the spirit (4ap)

'''Forceful Possession'''

Ghosts with this skill make for excellent assassins, for the mark does not know where the strike will come from. Commanding these beings is not easy for they can strike you down just as easily. This takes a great effort for a spirit (6ap).

----

=== Dark Elixirs And Poisons ===

For those in our craft and hiding out in the wilds the art of alchemy can be truly useful. A necromancer on the move must always be aware of nature’s bounty. In this chapter we shall explore poisons and potions most commonly used by necromancers. To create any of these recipes one will need a dagger (or a knife) and an empty gourd or bottle. Firstly however the Reagents for such potions should be explored.

'''Fungi'''

Fungi can be found in caves and tend to grow on the walls. They are clearly visible and thus easy for even a novice practitioner to spot. If consumed raw they cause cramps (2 damage) and are thus better avoided raw. They are relatively easy to harvest (30 – 40% chance) and again should present no problems to a novice practitioner.

'''Bunch of Poisonous Berries'''

These berries can be found on any poison berry bush. Outsiders often have trouble telling which berries are poisonous and which are not. Necromancers are strongly advised to invest some time learning the location of poison berry bushes as they have proven to be a very useful reagent. If consumed without preparation they cause dizziness and vomiting (resulting in 2hp of damage) but should be prepared for maximum effect. Their harvest is simple (50% chance).

'''Bunch of Tasty Berries'''

These berries can be found on any tasty berry bush. Outsiders often have trouble telling which berries are poisonous and which are not. These berries represent an easy source of healing for a necromancer living in the wild. If consumed raw they give a feeling of overwhelming health (healing 2hp) but should be prepared for maximum effect. Their harvest is simple (50% chance)

'''Healing Herbs'''

These herbs are quite efficient when used by advanced members of the craft (those with Natural Medicine). They, alas, lose all medicinal properties if prepared and thus are best consumed raw (resulting in 5hp healing without Natural medicine and 10 with natural medicine). It is notable that unlike all other reagents and elixirs they can be used upon others by salving the pulped herb over open wounds.

Now we move onto the potions themselves, a more useful collection of elixirs and poisons does not exist in any other text on the island.

'''Poison Berry Juice'''

This little drink can quickly destroy ones health. At first one may think of it as something to avoid, however when a practitioner is more advanced in the craft the spirit world can be as their second home and a quick death is often useful. This particular recipe reduces the health of a practitioner (8 damage) and can be created from 4 bunches of poisonous berries.

'''Fungi Juice'''

This potent drink is the necromancer’s dream, if combined with other potions or herbs. Upon drinking this elixir a practitioner will be racked by horrible pains (resulting in 4hp damage) but will feel invigorated (gaining 6ap for a net gain of 5ap). There is a drawback however, namely that after the recipient has imbibed this potent potion and exhausted themselves (used all 5 gained ap) they will find themselves lethargic. It is notable that drinking more fungi juice will delay this effect but the overall period of lethargy will be longer. To create this wonderful elixir one needs 3 fungi.

'''Tasty Berry Juice'''

This potion is a useful for healing if healing herbs are not available. It is simple to prepare, requiring only 4 bunches of tasty berries, and efficient upon consumption (restoring 8hp). It is notable that untrained practitioners will find that this potion restores far more health then healing herbs when used.

----

=== The Artefacts Of The Island ===

There are many artefacts of power on the island. To us the ones of importance are the charms. Mastery of them will take a long time and is improved by having faith...

Charms

There are several types of charms, each with their own advantage and disadvantage. They are listed below with their effects, both positive and negative.

'''Silver Skull Cross'''

The basic talisman that should be worn by all necromancers. It will protect the wearer from spirits entering their body but will, sadly, open up their minds to the anguish of the dead.

'''Rabbit Foot Charm'''

A lucky charm with no noticeable effect...

'''Parrot Feather Charm'''

A brightly coloured adornment that seems to pacify nearby animals and thus is particularly useful to necromancers lairing in caverns. It does however mean that animals are less likely to stick around and drop their trophies.

'''Tiger Tooth Amulet'''

This combat device will increase the chances of landing a killing stroke, or a critical strike. It does however seem to make ones weapons unusually brittle.

'''Gold Hoop Earrings'''

These earrings have no known use.

'''Wild Boar Tusk Necklace'''

This wild necklace has no known use.

'''Bat Wing Earrings'''

These earrings have no known use.

----

=== Advanced Concepts Of The Craft ===

In this chapter you will meet with some of the greatest powers our craft has to offer. Indeed once you can claim to have successfully executed each of these advanced rituals you may call yourself a master of the craft.

'''Great Invocation'''

The great invocation, researched and executed for the first time by the writer of this book. One needs the presence of 6 spirits to perform this terrifying ritual, all of which will need to be fully trained banshees. Once the spirits have been assembled the necromancer must begin this chant, and seal the ritual with his own blood.

''“/me raises his hands to the sky, his/her eyes full of darkness”''

''“/me begins to chant, his/her hands in the air, his voice whispering like the spirits”''

''“/me lets loose a cry, his/her voice sounding like the collective voices of all the dead here. The temperature in the room falls till ice forms on <your name’s> fingers”''

''“/me pulls out a dagger and draws it across his other hand, blood dripping onto the floor and the spirits wailing in shared pain”''

Use malevolence till everyone in the hut is dead, using healing herbs or tasty berry juice to keep yourself alive.

''“/me lets his arms fall and surveys the carnage, his/her blood dripping from his/her wounded hand”''

Make your exit.

As can be seen this ritual is devastating in effect and can kill everyone in the area if used correctly... However if the ritual is botched or interrupted by an exorcist this ritual will, most likely, lead to the death of the practitioner. Save it for your most hated foes and revel in their screams.

'''Voodoo Dolls'''

For this ritual one must have a trusted spirit companion, for it will require their intervention to ensure it is efficiency. The spirit must have powers of possession and forceful possession; the practitioner need have none for any fool can stab a doll.

''“/me holds up a doll of <victim>”''

''“/me inserts a needle into <body part of choice> of the doll”''

The spirit must use possession on the victim to say ''“/me cries out in pain and grabs their <bodypart of choice>”''

The spirit must use forceful possession to strike the victim once.

This process can be continued until the death of the victim or until the practitioner is satisfied. It is notable that this ritual can be done in Wiksik to affect a foe in York.

'''Avatars'''

A gifted necromancer with many spirit allies can create an avatar... The Avatar must be skilled in combat and open to the spirit world. The spirits must all be wraiths. To execute this ritual the necromancer must instruct the avatar and the spirits of his targets. An order of death MUST be agreed on. The avatar must then enter the place of the targets dwelling and begin to attack them. Once he is exhausted the spirits MUST begin to attack the targets using forceful possession. This can kill a good few people in a single day. It is notable that the necromancer responsible for the use of an avatar is untraceable unless betrayed by spirits or avatar.

----

=== Lichdom ===

The final transformation... This secret is hidden for now. Only the writer of this book has attained lichdom and he is the one you must seek for the secret.

----

=== Credits ===

Thanks to all the NG members for making this book possible, especially Alicebeth and Cyadora for proof reading it. --[[User:Etherdrifter|Etherdrifter]] 23:15, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Shamen

2009-05-31T20:10:04Z

Twist: Redirecting to Shaman

#REDIRECT [[Shaman]]

Kalmogal

2009-05-23T17:02:38Z

Twist: Redirecting to Kalmogal's Glove

#REDIRECT [[Kalmogal's Glove]]

The Rakmogaki Collective

2009-05-23T16:49:40Z

Twist: Link to Kalmogal's Glove added

{{Clanbox_test|
clan_name=The Rakmogaki Collective|
official_id=364|
clan_image=[[image:TheCollective.jpg|330px]]|
clan_leaders=[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15860 Grunk the Pale]|
clan_membership=Cannibals only|
clan_goals=Spreading the fear of cannibals across the entire island|
clan_recruit=Any cannibal interested in making the Collective strong can join|
clan_contact=[http://forum.shartak.com/index.php?topic=1518.0 Here]
}}

'''A Horde of Death That Will Plague the Land.'''

==Goals==
*Making Rakmogak the strongest force on Shartak.
*Solidarity among cannibal brothers and sisters.
*Fighting together to preserve the Cannibal culture.
*Spread the fear of the cannibals to the entire island.
*Raiding Parties.

==Notable Members==
*[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15860 Grunk the Pale] - Charismatic young leader of the Collective
*[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15905 The Great Khali] - Head feaster of the Collective and current [http://www.shartak.com/clanview.cgi?id=398 SWF Champion]
*[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=17391 Nihilo] - Recovered the lost treasure known as the [[Obsidian Spear]]
*[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15865 Narktan] - Brillant strategist, with an unusual sense of humor
*[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15880 Tkltchk] - Kalmogal's champion

==Foreign Relations==
The Collective have no foreign allies, though several individual members have made allies with various groups and such. On a whole, the Collective are enemies with everyone but fellow cannibals.

==Cannibal Treasures==
Several Cannibal Treasures have been taken by various natives and outsiders alike. As they are found, they will be posted here.
*[[Obsidian Spear]]
*[[Kalmogal's Glove]]

==Allied Groups==
*[[Cult of the Sky-Blood]] - The spiritual side of Rakmogak
*[http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/Bone_Gnawers Bone Gnawers] - A fellow cannibal warrior clan

==News & Updates==

'''August 2008'''
*[[Rakmogak]] is discovered by intrepid explorers.
*The Rakmogaki Collective is formed in Rakmogak. There is much rejoicing.

'''September 2008'''
*Various mainlander natives travel to Rakmogak to say hello.
*Rakmogak forums are up. [http://s10.invisionfree.com/Rakmogak Say hello to all the cannibals.]
*Various mainlander natives are eaten in Rakmogak.
*The Rakmogaki growing restless. And hungrier.
*The Rakmogak healing hut becomes extremely haunted. Many cannibals die of fright.

'''October 2008'''
*The Collective plans a raid on Derby.

'''November 2008'''
*The Rakmogaki Collective and the Bone Gnawers clan raid Derby.
*The Great Khali becomes inaugural Shartak Wrestling Federation Champion.

'''December 2008'''
*Spurred by a prompting from new leader Grunk the Pale, the Collective descends upon [[Santa's Grotto]], killing all who enter the sacred house to hurt the Big Fat Red Saint. The cannibals, along with a few spirits, raze the hut and limit the killings on Santa. They disperse by month's end.

'''January 2009'''
*The Collective, under new leadership by Grunk the Pale and The Great Khali, along with the aid of the Bone Gnawers, coordinate an all-out assault on the shipwreck in an epic raid known as [[The Quest for the Obsidian Spear]].

'''February 2009'''
*Nihilo the cannibal recovers the Obsidian Spear, 9 days early from the deadline, with 308 impressive points.
*Grunk the Pale investigates rumors of outsiders and natives alike on Rakmogak holy ground.

'''March 2009'''
*The Collective attacked Durham, claiming the Durhamites are treading on Cannibal holy ground.
*A cannibal Tkltchk is approached by Kalmogal's spirit and bequeathed his glove. The cannibals then disperse from Durham peninsula, seeing this as a sign they have suitably honored Kalmogal.

'''April 2009'''
*The holy month of Kril'Mangar begins.

'''May 2009'''
*The holy month of Kril'Mangar ends. Rumblings of another massed Collective attack begin.
[[Category:Officially recognized clans]]
[[Category:Clans for cannibals]]