The Shartak Wiki - User contributions [en]

Botheringham FC

2008-07-06T14:51:59Z

Drunky McScallywag:

#REDIRECT [[Pwotters]]

Botheringham

2008-07-06T14:50:57Z

Drunky McScallywag:

#REDIRECT [[Pwotters]]

Pwotters

2008-07-06T05:13:54Z

Drunky McScallywag: /* Current Activities */

{{Clanbox|
clan_name=Pwotters|
official_id=336|
open_to=everyone|
clan_image=http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm212/Drunky_McStumble/botheringhamlogosmaller.png|
clan_leaders=[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1267 Mr Gale]|
clan_membership=A goatse-load.|
clan_goals=Annihilation. Genocide. See the Bov's take home the cup.|
clan_recruit=We welcome all into our loving and masculine arms, except for damn dirty natives and Chelsea supporters. We'll still take you lot, just don't be surprised when you keep getting shot in the face.|
clan_contact=[http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/34220/sh-sh-sh-shartak Post here, young squancho. Prove your worth and we may let you in on our great works.]|
sort_as=|
}}

We will tear through all these little harmonious native villages like a tropical cyclone. Women, children, worthless roleplaying beardos: we will sweep every single native up in a blitzkrieg of bloodthirsty genocide. We will rampage across the pristine countryside; an organised army of pure malevolent destruction, slashing and burning an entire ecosystem. Rolling over villages like anthills; raping and murdering and annihilating like the forces of darkness itself.

You will remember us in your nightmares and your whispered stories. Tales of an unstoppable juggernaut just beyond the horizon that you can all but flee, until at last we are upon you. And the horrors we unleash will make your final fleeting moments seem like a lifetime of terror.

We will burn our atrocities into your minds. Yes, you will protest and cry foul and run to those who hold sway in this land and plead with them to stop us. You will howl and moan in your safe places and on your forums, you will smash your keyboards in disgust. But all your well-learned politics will come to naught when we lay your souls to waste.

Our goal is nothing less than to eradicate an entire (imaginary) race of people and burn their bones into dust. Our ferocity will leave our friends aghast and our enemies traumatised, left with only nightmares and thousand-yard stares. Those who have opened this world to us will soon know what evil man is truly capable of, and you will pray for your own redemption for the small part you played in the horror this is to come.

Also, Botheringham's in with a real chance this season, since they've moved Calvinho to the diagonal-half position. They're already 2-0 up on the ladder!

==Current Activities==
[[Image:Riots.jpg|frame|left|Botheringham vs. Lowersex Post-match celebration.]]
After the much-publicised public relations disaster that was the Botheringham Stadium Beautification Project, tensions were high and the atmosphere electric during the Bov's first home match against Lowersex at the half-completed Botheringham Stadium. Despite a strong turnout of boisterously pro-Lowersex supporters from York, the game quickly soured for the injury-depleted Lowersex Peggers. Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex by the jetlagged but sprightly Botheringham, violence immediately spilled out onto the streets of northern York.

While being evacuated from the overrun stadium by helicopter, Botheringham star striker Leonhard Milquetoast desperately called for calm amid the broiling sea of destruction below. He is quoted as saying the following:

"Now lads, it's only a game, yeah? Still early in the season like. We all just came to 'ave a bit o' fun. A few folk might 'ave got hurt a little, but it's all part o' the game. Just 'avin a laugh, yeah? No need to take it all so seriou..."

Unfortunately, one particularly loyal Lowersex supporter had procured for himself an RPG during the post-match chaos and managed, by all accounts, to shoot Milquetoast's helicopter out of the sky. All on board perished; while the Lowersex supporter was subsequently eviscerated by the unruly mob.

After much additional bloodshed and mayhem, calm was eventually restored when most Botheringham supporters went home, since they had work in the morning. Unfortunately, when normalcy resumed the follwing day, several members of the Botheringhamshire council discovered, much to their collective horror, that in their fervour the previous night they had passed a unanimous motion to declare war on the city of [[York]], Shartak Island.

Council by-laws being what they are, the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club have no choice but to follow through on this declaration at their soonest convenience. Botheringhamshire president Kilpatrick McOyster had this to say:

“Oohhh, fookin ‘eck. Yeh boys might a roit sozzie intie, eh? Gecha vees ootand arse an cannie back till yeh deed or pussin whiskey. Fookin gobshite.”

On that note, anyone who doesn’t feel like getting killed in the immediate future would be wise to leave York now. If you feel like joining in on our crusade (the more the merrier!), drop us a line at the forum link over yonder. Everyone else: good luck! We’ll see you soon.

VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!

 
'''UPDATE 05:13, 6 July 2008 (UTC):''' We're very pleased to announce that the final solution to the York problem has been enacted with complete success! Congratulations to all those Botheringham supporters who turned out and made a spiffing time of it. A celebratory afternoon tea will be held in central York later today, once we've cleared away most of the corpses. Calvinho and Macclesfield will be flying in especially to toast the occasion. Let's hear it for the Bovs!

==History==
====12:11, 29 June 2008 (UTC)====
[[Image:Botheringhamstadium.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Botheringham Stadium Map - Click to embiggen]]We're mostly just hanging about the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club in Northern [[York]] for the time being. Playing darts and lighting farts, that sort of thing. Although we have noticed that the football pitch at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/mapposgen.php?cx=-70385&cy=26349 Botheringham Stadium] is in a sorry state of disrepair.

Anyone with a [[Machete]] can help us out by cutting roads to the stadium or clearing out the parking lot as shown in the map to the left. If you have a few spare planks of [[driftwood]], you can also help out by marking out the stands and the pitch boundry. Remember, this is for our boys so they can have a respectible home ground. In the words of the immortal Mitch Freisenburg: "Sometimes, you just want to play football on, like, proper grass like."

Amen. VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!
 

====13:48, 1 June 2008 (UTC)====
We have arrived. Here looks great! Just taking a stroll along the beach. Lovely day, don't you think?

==Joining==
Clan membership is invitation only at the moment, so just follow the link in the box up there, sign up and post something explaining why you think you're awesome enough to join our ranks. It's all downhill from there, ababy.

==Botheringham FC Standings==
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing ="0" class="wikitable" style="text-align:center" style="background:#efefef;"
|+Match Results
|-
! No. || Home || Away || W/L/D || Final Score || Championship Points
|-
! 1 || Botheringham || Lowersex || W || 7-0 || 24
|-
! 1 || Newcastershire Wells 2nd Reserve || Botheringham || L || 9-7 || 24
|-
! 1 || Botheringham || Northeast Brookshanks || D || 7-7 || 24
|-
! 1 || Botheringham || Tunbridge Bognor || W || 7-2 || 24
|}

Next match: Botheringham vs. Her Majesty's Royal Gunners.

C'MON THE BOV'S!

[Statistics: '''TBA''']

[Previous Match Statistics: Last time the Bov's met the Royal Gunners was in the ultimte game of last season. Botheringham's then-manager Ernesto Pancetta was sent off for "repeatedly stamping on the opposition fly-back's crotch, for a period of almost 25 minutes". This came after Pancetta had made the controversial (and, it was later discovered after reading the rulebook, totally bloody illegal) decision to substitute Botheringham's entire defensive line for himself. When asked by his assistant manager to justify the decision at the time, it is alleged that Pancetta replied "those goons don't even know what football is. I'll show them. I'll show them football. I'll stamp on a crotch or two, oh yes."

Initially the tactic seemed to pay off. Her Majesty's attacking players were too noble to force themselves on this elderly gentleman who had positioned himself between them and the goal they so lusted for. After the crotch incident and the subsequent mega-red-card, however, the goals began pouring in. Final scoreline: HMRG 21, Botheringham 7. Botheringham and Pancetta could at least take some solace in the fact that the fly-back's junk was ruined for life.]

[http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham BOTHERINGHAM FC MERCHANDISE]

[[Category:Clans]]
[[Category:Clans for outsiders]]

Pwotters

2008-06-29T12:37:48Z

Drunky McScallywag: /* Botheringham FC Standings */

{{Clanbox|
clan_name=Pwotters|
official_id=336|
open_to=everyone|
clan_image=http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm212/Drunky_McStumble/botheringhamlogosmaller.png|
clan_leaders=[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1267 Mr Gale]|
clan_membership=A goatse-load.|
clan_goals=Annihilation. Genocide. See the Bov's take home the cup.|
clan_recruit=We welcome all into our loving and masculine arms, except for damn dirty natives and Chelsea supporters. We'll still take you lot, just don't be surprised when you keep getting shot in the face.|
clan_contact=[http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/34220/sh-sh-sh-shartak Post here, young squancho. Prove your worth and we may let you in on our great works.]|
sort_as=|
}}

We will tear through all these little harmonious native villages like a tropical cyclone. Women, children, worthless roleplaying beardos: we will sweep every single native up in a blitzkrieg of bloodthirsty genocide. We will rampage across the pristine countryside; an organised army of pure malevolent destruction, slashing and burning an entire ecosystem. Rolling over villages like anthills; raping and murdering and annihilating like the forces of darkness itself.

You will remember us in your nightmares and your whispered stories. Tales of an unstoppable juggernaut just beyond the horizon that you can all but flee, until at last we are upon you. And the horrors we unleash will make your final fleeting moments seem like a lifetime of terror.

We will burn our atrocities into your minds. Yes, you will protest and cry foul and run to those who hold sway in this land and plead with them to stop us. You will howl and moan in your safe places and on your forums, you will smash your keyboards in disgust. But all your well-learned politics will come to naught when we lay your souls to waste.

Our goal is nothing less than to eradicate an entire (imaginary) race of people and burn their bones into dust. Our ferocity will leave our friends aghast and our enemies traumatised, left with only nightmares and thousand-yard stares. Those who have opened this world to us will soon know what evil man is truly capable of, and you will pray for your own redemption for the small part you played in the horror this is to come.

Also, Botheringham's in with a real chance this season, since they've moved Calvinho to the diagonal-half position. They're already 2-0 up on the ladder!

==Current Activities==
[[Image:Riots.jpg|frame|left|Botheringham vs. Lowersex Post-match celebration.]]
After the much-publicised public relations disaster that was the Botheringham Stadium Beautification Project, tensions were high and the atmosphere electric during the Bov's first home match against Lowersex at the half-completed Botheringham Stadium. Despite a strong turnout of boisterously pro-Lowersex supporters from York, the game quickly soured for the injury-depleted Lowersex Peggers. Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex by the jetlagged but sprightly Botheringham, violence immediately spilled out onto the streets of northern York.

While being evacuated from the overrun stadium by helicopter, Botheringham star striker Leonhard Milquetoast desperately called for calm amid the broiling sea of destruction below. He is quoted as saying the following:

"Now lads, it's only a game, yeah? Still early in the season like. We all just came to 'ave a bit o' fun. A few folk might 'ave got hurt a little, but it's all part o' the game. Just 'avin a laugh, yeah? No need to take it all so seriou..."

Unfortunately, one particularly loyal Lowersex supporter had procured for himself an RPG during the post-match chaos and managed, by all accounts, to shoot Milquetoast's helicopter out of the sky. All on board perished; while the Lowersex supporter was subsequently eviscerated by the unruly mob.

After much additional bloodshed and mayhem, calm was eventually restored when most Botheringham supporters went home, since they had work in the morning. Unfortunately, when normalcy resumed the follwing day, several members of the Botheringhamshire council discovered, much to their collective horror, that in their fervour the previous night they had passed a unanimous motion to declare war on the city of [[York]], Shartak Island.

Council by-laws being what they are, the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club have no choice but to follow through on this declaration at their soonest convenience. Botheringhamshire president Kilpatrick McOyster had this to say:

“Oohhh, fookin ‘eck. Yeh boys might a roit sozzie intie, eh? Gecha vees ootand arse an cannie back till yeh deed or pussin whiskey. Fookin gobshite.”

On that note, anyone who doesn’t feel like getting killed in the immediate future would be wise to leave York now. If you feel like joining in on our crusade (the more the merrier!), drop us a line at the forum link over yonder. Everyone else: good luck! We’ll see you soon.

VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!

==History==
====12:11, 29 June 2008 (UTC)====
[[Image:Botheringhamstadium.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Botheringham Stadium Map - Click to embiggen]]We're mostly just hanging about the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club in Northern [[York]] for the time being. Playing darts and lighting farts, that sort of thing. Although we have noticed that the football pitch at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/mapposgen.php?cx=-70385&cy=26349 Botheringham Stadium] is in a sorry state of disrepair.

Anyone with a [[Machete]] can help us out by cutting roads to the stadium or clearing out the parking lot as shown in the map to the left. If you have a few spare planks of [[driftwood]], you can also help out by marking out the stands and the pitch boundry. Remember, this is for our boys so they can have a respectible home ground. In the words of the immortal Mitch Freisenburg: "Sometimes, you just want to play football on, like, proper grass like."

Amen. VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!
 

====13:48, 1 June 2008 (UTC)====
We have arrived. Here looks great! Just taking a stroll along the beach. Lovely day, don't you think?

==Joining==
Clan membership is invitation only at the moment, so just follow the link in the box up there, sign up and post something explaining why you think you're awesome enough to join our ranks. It's all downhill from there, ababy.

==Botheringham FC Standings==
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing ="0" class="wikitable" style="text-align:center" style="background:#efefef;"
|+Match Results
|-
! No. || Home || Away || W/L/D || Final Score || Championship Points
|-
! 1 || Botheringham || Lowersex || W || 7-0 || 24
|}

Next match: Botheringham vs. Newcastershire Wells 2nd Reserve at Smeg Oval.

C'MON THE BOV'S!

[Statistics: '''TBA''']

[Previous Match Statistics: Last time the Bov's met Lowersex was in last season's Asda "It's the taking part that counts" Trophy, when Calvinho (then playing not in the diagonal half, but rather the quarter-south position) added an injury time header to Johnny Macclesfield's first half strike to give the Bov a 2-0 victory. Macclesfield's goal was his first and only for Botheringham to date, but it was a cracker, coming from eighty yards. Lowersex's keeper had forgotten which side they were starting on, and lined up next to Goatsenelli, the Botheringham keeper, allowing Macclesfield's frenzied toepunt unfettered access to the top corner.]

[http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham BOTHERINGHAM FC MERCHANDISE]

[[Category:Clans]]
[[Category:Clans for outsiders]]

Pwotters

2008-06-29T12:36:27Z

Drunky McScallywag:

{{Clanbox|
clan_name=Pwotters|
official_id=336|
open_to=everyone|
clan_image=http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm212/Drunky_McStumble/botheringhamlogosmaller.png|
clan_leaders=[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1267 Mr Gale]|
clan_membership=A goatse-load.|
clan_goals=Annihilation. Genocide. See the Bov's take home the cup.|
clan_recruit=We welcome all into our loving and masculine arms, except for damn dirty natives and Chelsea supporters. We'll still take you lot, just don't be surprised when you keep getting shot in the face.|
clan_contact=[http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/34220/sh-sh-sh-shartak Post here, young squancho. Prove your worth and we may let you in on our great works.]|
sort_as=|
}}

We will tear through all these little harmonious native villages like a tropical cyclone. Women, children, worthless roleplaying beardos: we will sweep every single native up in a blitzkrieg of bloodthirsty genocide. We will rampage across the pristine countryside; an organised army of pure malevolent destruction, slashing and burning an entire ecosystem. Rolling over villages like anthills; raping and murdering and annihilating like the forces of darkness itself.

You will remember us in your nightmares and your whispered stories. Tales of an unstoppable juggernaut just beyond the horizon that you can all but flee, until at last we are upon you. And the horrors we unleash will make your final fleeting moments seem like a lifetime of terror.

We will burn our atrocities into your minds. Yes, you will protest and cry foul and run to those who hold sway in this land and plead with them to stop us. You will howl and moan in your safe places and on your forums, you will smash your keyboards in disgust. But all your well-learned politics will come to naught when we lay your souls to waste.

Our goal is nothing less than to eradicate an entire (imaginary) race of people and burn their bones into dust. Our ferocity will leave our friends aghast and our enemies traumatised, left with only nightmares and thousand-yard stares. Those who have opened this world to us will soon know what evil man is truly capable of, and you will pray for your own redemption for the small part you played in the horror this is to come.

Also, Botheringham's in with a real chance this season, since they've moved Calvinho to the diagonal-half position. They're already 2-0 up on the ladder!

==Current Activities==
[[Image:Riots.jpg|frame|left|Botheringham vs. Lowersex Post-match celebration.]]
After the much-publicised public relations disaster that was the Botheringham Stadium Beautification Project, tensions were high and the atmosphere electric during the Bov's first home match against Lowersex at the half-completed Botheringham Stadium. Despite a strong turnout of boisterously pro-Lowersex supporters from York, the game quickly soured for the injury-depleted Lowersex Peggers. Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex by the jetlagged but sprightly Botheringham, violence immediately spilled out onto the streets of northern York.

While being evacuated from the overrun stadium by helicopter, Botheringham star striker Leonhard Milquetoast desperately called for calm amid the broiling sea of destruction below. He is quoted as saying the following:

"Now lads, it's only a game, yeah? Still early in the season like. We all just came to 'ave a bit o' fun. A few folk might 'ave got hurt a little, but it's all part o' the game. Just 'avin a laugh, yeah? No need to take it all so seriou..."

Unfortunately, one particularly loyal Lowersex supporter had procured for himself an RPG during the post-match chaos and managed, by all accounts, to shoot Milquetoast's helicopter out of the sky. All on board perished; while the Lowersex supporter was subsequently eviscerated by the unruly mob.

After much additional bloodshed and mayhem, calm was eventually restored when most Botheringham supporters went home, since they had work in the morning. Unfortunately, when normalcy resumed the follwing day, several members of the Botheringhamshire council discovered, much to their collective horror, that in their fervour the previous night they had passed a unanimous motion to declare war on the city of [[York]], Shartak Island.

Council by-laws being what they are, the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club have no choice but to follow through on this declaration at their soonest convenience. Botheringhamshire president Kilpatrick McOyster had this to say:

“Oohhh, fookin ‘eck. Yeh boys might a roit sozzie intie, eh? Gecha vees ootand arse an cannie back till yeh deed or pussin whiskey. Fookin gobshite.”

On that note, anyone who doesn’t feel like getting killed in the immediate future would be wise to leave York now. If you feel like joining in on our crusade (the more the merrier!), drop us a line at the forum link over yonder. Everyone else: good luck! We’ll see you soon.

VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!

==History==
====12:11, 29 June 2008 (UTC)====
[[Image:Botheringhamstadium.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Botheringham Stadium Map - Click to embiggen]]We're mostly just hanging about the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club in Northern [[York]] for the time being. Playing darts and lighting farts, that sort of thing. Although we have noticed that the football pitch at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/mapposgen.php?cx=-70385&cy=26349 Botheringham Stadium] is in a sorry state of disrepair.

Anyone with a [[Machete]] can help us out by cutting roads to the stadium or clearing out the parking lot as shown in the map to the left. If you have a few spare planks of [[driftwood]], you can also help out by marking out the stands and the pitch boundry. Remember, this is for our boys so they can have a respectible home ground. In the words of the immortal Mitch Freisenburg: "Sometimes, you just want to play football on, like, proper grass like."

Amen. VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!
 

====13:48, 1 June 2008 (UTC)====
We have arrived. Here looks great! Just taking a stroll along the beach. Lovely day, don't you think?

==Joining==
Clan membership is invitation only at the moment, so just follow the link in the box up there, sign up and post something explaining why you think you're awesome enough to join our ranks. It's all downhill from there, ababy.

==Botheringham FC Standings==
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing ="0" class="wikitable" style="text-align:center" style="background:#efefef;"
|+Match Results
|-
! No. || Home || Away || W/L/D || Final Score || Championship Points
|-
! 1 || Botheringham || Lowersex || W || 7-0 || 24
|}

Next match: Botheringham vs. Newcastershire Wells 2nd Reserve at Smeg Oval.

C'MON THE BOV'S!

[Statistics: Last time the Bov's met Lowersex was in last season's Asda "It's the taking part that counts" Trophy, when Calvinho (then playing not in the diagonal half, but rather the quarter-south position) added an injury time header to Johnny Macclesfield's first half strike to give the Bov a 2-0 victory. Macclesfield's goal was his first and only for Botheringham to date, but it was a cracker, coming from eighty yards. Lowersex's keeper had forgotten which side they were starting on, and lined up next to Goatsenelli, the Botheringham keeper, allowing Macclesfield's frenzied toepunt unfettered access to the top corner.]

[http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham BOTHERINGHAM FC MERCHANDISE]

[[Category:Clans]]
[[Category:Clans for outsiders]]

Pwotters

2008-06-29T12:11:07Z

Drunky McScallywag: Added latest news (i.e. declared war on York).

{{Clanbox|
clan_name=Pwotters|
official_id=336|
open_to=everyone|
clan_image=http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm212/Drunky_McStumble/botheringhamlogosmaller.png|
clan_leaders=[http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1267 Mr Gale]|
clan_membership=A goatse-load.|
clan_goals=Annihilation. Genocide. See the Bov's take home the cup.|
clan_recruit=We welcome all into our loving and masculine arms, except for damn dirty natives and Chelsea supporters. We'll still take you lot, just don't be surprised when you keep getting shot in the face.|
clan_contact=[http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/34220/sh-sh-sh-shartak Post here, young squancho. Prove your worth and we may let you in on our great works.]|
sort_as=|
}}

We will tear through all these little harmonious native villages like a tropical cyclone. Women, children, worthless roleplaying beardos: we will sweep every single native up in a blitzkrieg of bloodthirsty genocide. We will rampage across the pristine countryside; an organised army of pure malevolent destruction, slashing and burning an entire ecosystem. Rolling over villages like anthills; raping and murdering and annihilating like the forces of darkness itself.

You will remember us in your nightmares and your whispered stories. Tales of an unstoppable juggernaut just beyond the horizon that you can all but flee, until at last we are upon you. And the horrors we unleash will make your final fleeting moments seem like a lifetime of terror.

We will burn our atrocities into your minds. Yes, you will protest and cry foul and run to those who hold sway in this land and plead with them to stop us. You will howl and moan in your safe places and on your forums, you will smash your keyboards in disgust. But all your well-learned politics will come to naught when we lay your souls to waste.

Our goal is nothing less than to eradicate an entire (imaginary) race of people and burn their bones into dust. Our ferocity will leave our friends aghast and our enemies traumatised, left with only nightmares and thousand-yard stares. Those who have opened this world to us will soon know what evil man is truly capable of, and you will pray for your own redemption for the small part you played in the horror this is to come.

Also, Botheringham's in with a real chance this season, since they've moved Calvinho to the diagonal-half position. They're already 2-0 up on the ladder!

==Current Activities==
[[Image:Riots.jpg|frame|left|Botheringham vs. Lowersex Post-match celebration.]]
After the much-publicised public relations disaster that was the Botheringham Stadium Beautification Project, tensions were high and the atmosphere electric during the Bov's first home match against Lowersex at the half-completed Botheringham Stadium. Despite a strong turnout of boisterously pro-Lowersex supporters from York, the game quickly soured for the injury-depleted Lowersex Peggers. Following the 7-0 drubbing of Lowersex by the jetlagged but sprightly Botheringham, violence immediately spilled out onto the streets of northern York.

While being evacuated from the overrun stadium by helicopter, Botheringham star striker Leonhard Milquetoast desperately called for calm amid the broiling sea of destruction below. He is quoted as saying the following:

"Now lads, it's only a game, yeah? Still early in the season like. We all just came to 'ave a bit o' fun. A few folk might 'ave got hurt a little, but it's all part o' the game. Just 'avin a laugh, yeah? No need to take it all so seriou..."

Unfortunately, one particularly loyal Lowersex supporter had procured for himself an RPG during the post-match chaos and managed, by all accounts, to shoot Milquetoast's helicopter out of the sky. All on board perished; while the Lowersex supporter was subsequently eviscerated by the unruly mob.

After much additional bloodshed and mayhem, calm was eventually restored when most Botheringham supporters went home, since had work in the morning. Unfortunately, when normalcy resumed the follwing day, several members of the Botheringhamshire council discovered, much to their collective horror, that in their fervour the previous night they had passed a unanimous motion to declare war on the city of [[York]], Shartak Island.

Council by-laws being what they are, the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club have no choice but to follow through on this declaration at their soonest convenience. Botheringhamshire president Kilpatrick McOyster had this to say:

“Oohhh, fookin ‘eck. Yeh boys might a roit sozzie intie, eh? Gecha vees ootand arse an cannie back till yeh deed or pussin whiskey. Fookin gobshite.”

On that note, anyone who doesn’t feel like getting killed in the immediate future would be wise to leave York now. If you feel like joining in on our crusade (the more the merrier!), drop us a line at the forum link over yonder. Everyone else: good luck! We’ll see you soon.

VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!

==History==
====12:11, 29 June 2008 (UTC)====
[[Image:Botheringhamstadium.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Botheringham Stadium Map - Click to embiggen]]We're mostly just hanging about the Botheringham FC Supporter's Club in Northern [[York]] for the time being. Playing darts and lighting farts, that sort of thing. Although we have noticed that the football pitch at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/mapposgen.php?cx=-70385&cy=26349 Botheringham Stadium] is in a sorry state of disrepair.

Anyone with a [[Machete]] can help us out by cutting roads to the stadium or clearing out the parking lot as shown in the map to the left. If you have a few spare planks of [[driftwood]], you can also help out by marking out the stands and the pitch boundry. Remember, this is for our boys so they can have a respectible home ground. In the words of the immortal Mitch Freisenburg: "Sometimes, you just want to play football on, like, proper grass like."

Amen. VIVA BOTHERINGHAM!
 

====13:48, 1 June 2008 (UTC)====
We have arrived. Here looks great! Just taking a stroll along the beach. Lovely day, don't you think?

==Joining==
Clan membership is invitation only at the moment, so just follow the link in the box up there, sign up and post something explaining why you think you're awesome enough to join our ranks. It's all downhill from there, ababy.

==Botheringham FC Standings==
TBA.

Next match: Botheringham vs. Lowersex at Lowersex Downs.

C'MON THE BOV'S!

[Statistics: Last time the Bov's met Lowersex was in last season's Asda "It's the taking part that counts" Trophy, when Calvinho (then playing not in the diagonal half, but rather the quarter-south position) added an injury time header to Johnny Macclesfield's first half strike to give the Bov a 2-0 victory. Macclesfield's goal was his first and only for Botheringham to date, but it was a cracker, coming from eighty yards. Lowersex's keeper had forgotten which side they were starting on, and lined up next to Goatsenelli, the Botheringham keeper, allowing Macclesfield's frenzied toepunt unfettered access to the top corner.]

[http://www.cafepress.com/Botheringham BOTHERINGHAM FC MERCHANDISE]

[[Category:Clans]]
[[Category:Clans for outsiders]]

File:Riots.jpg

2008-06-29T11:22:14Z

Drunky McScallywag: Botheringham V Lowersex 2008. Northern York Riots.

Botheringham V Lowersex 2008. Northern York Riots.

York

2008-06-02T11:20:51Z

Drunky McScallywag: /* Groups Operating in York */

{{Infobox Home|
| image = satellite_york.png
| cx = -70371
| cy = 26314
| type = Outsider
| huts = 23
| shaman = Kahuni
| shaman_gps = [-70.371,+26.314]
| shaman_loc = (08,08)
| trader = Harry
| trader_gps = [-70.367,+26.313]
| trader_loc = (12,09)
| ammo_gps = [-70.371,+26.316]
| ammo_loc = (08,06)
| medical_gps = [-70.369,+26.320]
| medical_loc = (10,02)
}}
'''York''' is one of the three [[outsider]] [[settlement]]s on Shartak. Located near the center of the island's southern shore, it consists of twenty-four [[hut]]s in an oblong clearing.

A native [[shaman]] named Kahuni is held captive in the center of the clearing and uses his mystical powers to revive York spirits.

== Map ==
{| cellspacing=1 cellpadding=8 style="background-color:#e0e0e0" |
| colspan=15 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | '''The Village of York - Territory Map'''
|-
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''M'''
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''A'''
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| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''T'''
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|-
| colspan=15 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | '''Legend'''
|-
| bgcolor=#33c033|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Unincorporated ("Jungle")
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Village territory ("York")
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|H
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Hut (H2 represents two huts)
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''T'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Trading post
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''A'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Ammunition hut
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''M'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Medical hut
|-
| bgcolor=#aa8866|'''S'''
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Shaman
|-
| bgcolor=#ffebcd|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Beach
|-
| bgcolor=#6666ff|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Water
|-
| bgcolor=#4444af|
| colspan=14 bgcolor=#f9f9f9 | Deep water
|}

Notes:
* The above is a territory map, not a map of jungle density (which constantly changes). Therefore, the jungle and village squares will very likely be colored differently in-game than they are here. However, squares within the village of York will be displayed as "York" on the game map, while jungle squares will be displayed as "Jungle".
* The numbers on the map are merely for local reference and are not related to GPS coordinates at all.

==York: A Rough Guide==

[[Image:Map of York.jpg|left|250px|thumb|Map courtesy of York citizen [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=487 Gitboy]. '''Click to enlarge'''.]]

Frequently referred to as the 'big city' of Shartak, York is the most populous as well as the busiest, most bustling settlement on Shartak. It has a colourful and frequently bloody history, and has developed a unique culture and identity, very different in character from liberal [[Durham]] in the far west, and staunchly-moderate [[Derby]] in the far east, both of which have never seen themselves invaded (York's central location led to early invasions, and several political disputes and pirate-vs.-outsider hostility have led to a series of more recent invasions of York. '''See [[York#History of York|History of York]] for more''') and as such have developed much more peacefully, and welcoming to all. York is unquestionably more institutionally outsider-nationalist than either Derby or Durham.

York was the first town to host a full-time [[Colonial Police|police force]], and was the birthplace of the criminal [[Mercenary's Guild]] and a shadowy [[Order of Patriots|secret society]] which has been active in York affairs since the days of the first waves of pirate attacks. Many, many others groups have been significantly involved in York affairs (See partial list below).

The convoluted political situation is matched in intrigue only by the bustling social scene. The settlement boasts two busy taverns ([[Czechy's]], at (11,09) on the map above, and [[the Waugh Arms]] at (04,09) on the map above), as well as the island's first and most successful very-widely-read [[The Yorkman|newspaper]], and a very busy Medical Supplies Hut which serves as a forum for public speeches and debate, conversations, and gossip, even though words can sometimes be drowned out by incessant wailing from spirits.

Another social development of note in York had been the proliferation of outsider religion. Several houses of worship and religious organisations have arisen in York. In the very early days a man set up a peaceable and quiet church in mid-York, not long after Derby had set up its first church. This man's voice has since been drowned out (he has apparently left the island) and in typical York fashion, religion has become radicalised in the city, with frequent religious violence. York currently hosts a [[Holy Mission|hardline Catholic church organisation]] and a [[Shartak Protestant League|hardline protestant church]], whose members frequently attack one another, as well as a surprisingly moderate and agreeable [[Parchment_Pages#York_Synagogue|Jewish synagogue]] in South-York. Native pagan religions are generally not tolerated in York. The Catholic York-based [[Holy Mission]] have even taking to crusading against "native heresy".

'''Survival Tips:''' If you're just visiting, try to stay clear of the constant power struggles and not to upset any of the major groups. Sleep somewhere like [[the Waugh Arms]], [[CzEcHy's Tavern]], [[Congregation Tafas Shalva]] or the RE field hospital so that the [[Colonial Police]] will know if you get attacked. Take extra care if you're a [[pirate]] - several groups and many unaligned Yorkmen will attack you without provocation.

== Points of interest ==
=== Medical Supplies Hut ===
The busiest place in York, regularly featuring upwards of three dozen people inside at any one time. As you can see on the map above, it is located at the far north end of York. The coordinates are [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70369&cy=26320 -70.369,+26.320]. The hut is filled with crates which contain abandoned medical supplies, which people freely take, to heal themselves, to heal others, and for monetary gain ([[trade]] them in for gold, especially in towns without access to [[first aid kit]]s who will pay top dollar for them, the three native towns and the [[shipwreck]]). There are several doctors who have taken up permanent residence there, and many wounded people come into the medical hut to be healed. A constant problem in the hut is [[spirit]]s wailing and injuring people,but several friendly [[shaman]]s (notably [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=1471 lacuna]) have taken up the job of keeping it free of hostile spirits. Renegades who murder these friendly pro-York shamans are hated by all.

The Medical Supplies Hut also serves as a major platform for public speeches, debates, and is the main centre in York for conversation and gossip, owing to its large population.

=== Trader Harry's ===
The trading hut in York, located at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70367&cy=26313 -70.367,+26.313]. Frequently out of necessary supplies, and owned by a crooked trader who is known to cheat customers. Harry uses his profits from selling inferior goods at inflated prices to advertise fairly often in [[The Yorkman]], and in purchasing new guard dogs. Customers angry at being ripped off or at Harry being out of stock of most items often kill the guard dog to express their anger.

=== [[CzEcHy's Tavern]] ===
Directly west of the Trader's hut, located at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70368&cy=26313 -70.368,+26.313] is the astoundingly wonderful Tavern owned by {{profile|1603|czech1}}. Feel free to drop by and spend a night or two in safety. Whether you're a pirate, a native, or an elusive murderer wanted by all, you're still welcome at the tavern (as long as you dont kill anyone inside.) Usually quite busy. Czechy's was the site of the miraculous [[York Christmas Truce|Christmas Truce]].

UPDATE: Due to the popularity of the Tavern and the increasing demand for quality home-cooked food, CzEcHy's has expanded into the property to the north of the tavern. CzEcHy's Bistro and Grillbar will cater for all your culinary delights and we offer specials that are not listed on the 'a la carte' menu - just look for the "Daily Specials" board. Our Egon Ronay-recognised chef, Mr. S0S, will also do his best to cater for any 'off-the-menu' requests.

Dress code is smart-casual, with or without nose-bones. Shrunken heads are not permitted although these may be left in our cloakroom for later collection. Bon appetite!

=== [[The Waugh Arms]] ===
West-southwest of the York shaman at [http://www.itechsc.com/misc/shartak/ubermap/closeup.php?sk=1&sc=1&cx=-70374&cy=26313 -70.374,+26.313], on the site of the former Colonial Police Headquarters, visitors to York will find the recently-opened [[The Waugh Arms|Waugh Arms]]. All are warmly invited to stop by and enjoy the pleasures of fine food and drink, and of course enjoy the legendary hospitality of the Waugh Arms.

== Roads ==

===Trail to Derby===
[[Mercenary's Guild]] member [http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=3322 Zydd Soral] suggested at a public meeting that the SPF create an eco-friendly Trekker's Trail; this was quickly agreed to. This trail can be followed from York to Derby. The trail, a continuation of Southern Coastal Boulevard, begins at York's medical hut and continues 35 paces northward until it turns toward the northeast to skirt the swamp. It then continues eastward to Derby. Travelers are asked to clear as they travel, but to be careful of occasional eco-terrorist attacks.

===Trail to Durham===
There is a trail that connects Durham and York, the much-hailed Southern Coastal Boulevard, cleared and maintained by the [[Civilized Highway Society]] and some other volunteers, and is a major benefit for traders such as those in the [[South Shartak Trading Company]]. The trail, when in good condition, should only take slightly more than 2 days from central York to central Durham. Beware of bandits and wild animals on the road westwards!

==Groups Operating in York==
Due to its population, centrality, politics, and various other factors, many groups have either claimed York as their hometown or been active in York affairs. What follows is a list of groups who have been active in York.

*[[1st Colonial Militia]]
*[[1st Imperial Privateers]]
*[[5punk]]
*[[Civilized Highway Society]]
*[[Colon Police]]
*[[Colonial Counter Terrorist Unit]]
*[[Colonial Police]]
*[[First Bank of Shartak]]
*[[Gods and Heroes]]
*[[The Holy Mission]]
*[[Healers of Shartak]]
*[[Mercenary's Guild]]
*[[Order of Patriots]]
*[[The Pirate Hunters]]
*[[Pwotters|Pwotters!]]
*[[Royal Expedition]]
*[[South Shartak Trading Company]]
*[[Shartak Anti-Communists]]
*[[Shartak Cryptozoological Society]]
*[[Shartak Preservation Front]]
*[[Shartak Protestant League]]
*[[York Loyalists]]
*[[York Pirate Slayers]]
*[[Derby Rangers]] - Invasion assistance

== History of York ==
York history is defined principally by two things. One: constant invasion by hostile forces, and two: the rallying of local groups, fighting off the invaders, and the hardening of domestic opinion (both "civilian and York groups") in a nationalistic direction. (this cycle tends to repeat, as nationalistic sentiment then angers some implacable elements of the Shartak population, who thus come into conflict with York and eventually decide to invade).

In the very beginning of the colonisation effort, York was a small outpost with a tiny population, without even a trader (though [[Kahuni]] himself was captured very early on). Slowly as things began to grow, the town developed its own identity, and has played a central role in Shartak politics ever since, serving as a lightning rod for various groups and individuals.

The [[First Battle of York]] or "First Invasion", is the name given to a series of native attacks on York from quite early in the colonisation effort. Natives started descending on York after word began spreading in the native settlements of the presence of large numbers of outsiders at this location. The attacks by natives were uncoordinated, but large scale violence by natives lasted approximately from March to April 2006. The [[Colonial Police]] formed in York during this period in reaction to the violence. York's population was low at the time, and only a very few around today can even still remember the 'First Invasion'. See full article '''[[First Battle of York]]''' for more.

Somewhat overlapping was the also-vaguely-defiend [[Second Battle of York]] or "Second Invasion". This is the name given to the "pirate invasion" of April-May 2006 in which dozens of unaligned pirates came south independently to attack York and victimise the people, after directions to York were posted at the shipwreck. The tremendous pirate-on-outsider violence during this period was suppsedly the original impetus for anti-piratism in York, and it is during this period that the OoP was founded (Order Opposing Pirates Order Of Patriots). This initial pirate invasion has been extraordinarily politically significant for the settlement. Afterwards, numerous York groups and individuals began taking to killing all pirates and "pirate sympathisers" that they see in York, on sight. See full article '''[[Second Battle of York]]''' for more.

The period between the end of the Second Invasion and the start of the Third Invasion is an often-forgotten period in York history, but is very significant. During this period, York was coming into its own, and its politics were up in the air. There was very strong nationalist and anti-pirate agitation by the Order of Patriots and others, but this was certainly just one of many political movements. These numerous diverse social and political currents were pulling York in all directions. In other words, the situation in York resembled somewhat the current confused situation in Durham (as of this printing). The Yorkman newspaper was founded during this period, and the Colonial Police came into their own during this inter-Invasion period, and at that time took no firm stances in York politics. They opposed the growing anti-pirate radicalism of the population because it meant attacks on many innocent pirates, not because they were political opponents of that movement, as they were apolitical. The CP were off-and-on enemies of the Order. With the shock departure of CP-founder MickR towards the very end of this inter-Invasion period, it looked like things would remain this way. But this all changed and York as a whole was swept into the arms of the nationalist anti-pirate radicals as a result a very serious crisis of the...

[[Third Battle of York]], or, the "First MG Invasion". The "[[Mercenary's Guild]]" invaded and began a general wave of violence in York starting September 20th 2006 (their withdrawal occurred on October 15th 2006), in which they killed dozens of innocent York citizens at random in an attempt to show strength and in a failed attempt to destroy the [[Order of Patriots]]. This battle rallied the York groups around a common cause, and thus had a long-lasting effect on York politics. It helped to harden York nationalism. The MG was eventually beaten back and withdrew, leaving the Order intact. The Colonial Police and many unaligned citizens took to defending the city from invasion during this MG massacre, and when the smoke cleared the Colonial Police, formerly enemies if the Order and apolitical, had become strong allies and finally fully enmeshed in York politics. Lingering bitterness and tensions between York (especially the [[Colonial Police]]) and the '[[MG gang]]', temporarily set aside for more than two weeks during and after the [[York Christmas Truce|Great Christmas Truce]], led to the resumption of hostilities on January 20th 2007 in what was soon called...

The [[Fourth Battle of York]], or the "Second MG Invasion". This one became the largest battle in Shartak history, with anti-York and anti-outsider groups from across the land joining forces to attack York. The 'York Alliance' of pro-York groups eventually claimed victory after the invaders were driven back.

Recently, York was hit by an invasion of a different kind: mysterious signposts saying "WILLIES!" appeared throughout the town. Much mystery surrounds this incident, which has since become known simply as "[[the WILLIES!]]".

{{Locationsnav}}
[[Category:Locations]]

Pwotters

2008-06-02T05:05:27Z

Drunky McScallywag: /* 13:48, 1 June 2008 (UTC) */

Pwotters

2008-06-01T14:17:08Z

Drunky McScallywag:

Pwotters

2008-06-01T13:48:37Z

Drunky McScallywag:

File:Botheringhamstadium.jpg

2008-06-01T13:28:34Z

Drunky McScallywag: Map of Botheringham Stadium, home of Botheringham FC. C'mon the Bov's!

Map of Botheringham Stadium, home of Botheringham FC. C'mon the Bov's!