The Waugh Arms

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Revision as of 03:54, 18 August 2007 by A Russian Pirate (talk | contribs) (House Rules)
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The Waugh Arms|-style="background-color: #ffffff; text-align: center;" Beerpint.jpg
Leadership:
Members: Drunks, alcoholics, debonair party types.
Goals: We'll drink ourselves to death!.
Recruitment policy: Currently hiring for bar staff
Contact: Open door, walk into pub


Welcome!

The Waugh Arms started out as a fine suburban pub located in the York area of Shartak. Catering for both locals and visitors to the nearby Trader's Hut and beach, a good selection of home-cooked food is available during the day, as well as a wide range of bar snacks. From there, it is in the process of expanding to become an island spanning chain. Each Waugh Arms boasts a fine selection of real ales with several guest ales per month on offer, as well as grog and a variety of indigenous berry liqueurs. Other facilities include a pool table and a jukebox, although the latter has a tendency to play Queen's 'Don't Stop Me Now' if no song has been selected.


Locations

Waugh Arms - York

The Waugh Arms can be found west-southwest of the shaman in York, on the site of the former Colonial Police Headquarters at -70.374,+26.313.

Waugh Arms - Durham

Located in the busy town centre at co-ordinates [-70.647,+26.348]

House Rules

  • No fighting or killing
  • No pissing in the corner
  • Do not molest the waitress
  • No consumption of drugs on the premises unless you've "brought enough for everyone"

Facilities

  • Karaoke machine - Complete with a Queen - Greatest Hits tape.
  • Jukebox - A battered old Wurlitzer, loaded with 80s pop music and Finnish death metal.
  • Pool table - Unfortunately, the cue ball was stolen by pirates some time ago.
  • House Medics - Members of our staff carry first aid kits at all times, allowing us to offer medical assistance to those who need it.
  • Sick bucket - Free pink sawdust available at the bar on request.
  • Corners - For propping up the drunks.

Cocktails Menu

Whilst the pub has traditionally favored hand drawn ales and strong spirits, we also try and cater for those with more refined tastes. As such, please cast your eye over our thirst quenching cocktail menu.

  • The Kjendlie - named after the well known captain of the Colonial Police, this cheeky little number froths and foams greatly at first, but very soon goes flat. Slightly bitter to taste, excessive intake may cause delusions. Only served in cans as it has lost its bottle.
  • The Lacuna - doesn't contain spirits.
  • The Malice - at 10gc a glass, the Malice is an expensive drink. Served in a chalice made from human bones, blood red, and with a sharp taste, this is a drink that bites back - some have compared drinking it to being stabbed in the kidneys with a rusty spoon. Some drinkers have found an extreme adverse reaction to this cocktail, often breaking out in an uncomfortable rash. As such this cocktail is banned in the majority of towns in Shartak.
  • Serious Sambuca - Not just ordinary Sambuca, this is Serious Sambuca! Flavored with exotic Shartak aniseed, this drink has a most peculiar effect. After just one glass the alcohol goes straight to the larynx, causing the drinker to talk and talk and talk and talk. Further consumption of the drink sees the alcohol take effect on the bowels - the abdominal muscles contract forcing any waste and effluence upwards into the mouth. As the primary effects are still taking place, this causes the unfortunate drinker to literally "talk shit". Note from the management: This drink is no longer in stock due to massive unpopularity.

Old Mac's Bar Snacks - New!

Here at the Waugh we like to keep our customers happy (and if we can't do that we at least aim to make them feel moderately less uncomfortable). With this in mind, we are now proud to present - Old Mac's Bar Snacks! From our very own Captain of the Colonial Police, a range of delicacies freshly prepared after a hard days work sat behind the desk. Cast your eye over our mouthwatering (and bowel loosening) selection:

  • The Mixed Up Chocolate and Coconut Snack Cake - we've yet to come up with a catchy name for this exotic snack, but suggestions are welcome. Don't worry about the high price though! Kill a criminal and Old Mac will offer you a bounty in return.
  • Wontons - a recipe from the far East, these spicy dumplings are tremendously popular! A word of caution though: due to their high demand they generally sell out very quickly, leading some people to get a mite upset and tending to lash out. Regulars have dubbed this phenomenon "Wonton Violence".
  • Spit-roasted Shargle - serves two. Seems to be quite popular in the Med Hut.

Disclaimer: Due to unpopularity and lack customers due to semen being found in food by CP health and safety regulators the 5punk members who run Old Mac's Bar Snacks have been evicted by the Colonial Police. The paragraphs above are just to keep you on this page 30 seconds longer.

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